On behalf of Santa, The Sheet received several letters which we promptly forwarded to the North Pole. Santa would like to thank all of the obviously good boys and girls for taking the time to write him.
This year, the Booky Joint offered four $25 gift certificates to randomly selected winners, who include:
$25 to Mia Williams, showing clear and subtle brilliance in asking for a real magic wand which can then produce all sorts of further gifts.
$25 to Giancarlo Alvardo, because as everyone who knows Santa can attest, Santa’s job is hard.
$25 to Kate Moxley, because Lunch, as a younger brother, knows all too well how difficult brothers can be to their sisters.
And $25 to Kimberly Laguna-Gutierrez. After all, if Santa knows whether you’ve been bad or good, you might as well just lay it out there and be honest.
The vast majority are from Mrs. Burgenbauch’s second grade class, so The Sheet will donate $100 to her classroom to be used however Mrs. B sees fit.
I would’ve given a gift certificate to the child wishing for grandmother’s help, but I couldn’t read the name.
Below are excerpts from select letters. We didn’t have the space to fit them all, so I chose a general sampling.
Without further ado …
My favorite part of Christmas is decorating the tree. I don’t think you are fat. I think you just wear a lot of layers on Christmas.
I have a lot of questions for you. How do you get down the chimney? Do you have puppies named Jingle, Charity, Hope and Noble? Do you have an elf named Eli? Do you and everybody else earn magic crystals? I will share and be nice a lot.
I am so excited for Christmas. How do the reindeer fly? Do you have a puppy? I want a Tinker Bell. Do we have Christmas spirit?
How do you fit in the chimney? How did you make that toy machine? Why do the elves have pointed ears? Can I have more moon sand? How many elves do you have?
How do you get a lot of money to buy the presents?
Merry Christmas, Santa Claus! I want a lot of diamonds!
Do you use magic to go down the chimney?
I want an iPod and a Xbox 360. I will give you five dollars and a SpongeBob. I want a real truck for my Dad and a Lamborghini.
What I really want for Christmas is a real magic wand!
I would like a GoPro. If that is too expensive, may I please have an iPod touch, not a Haro trick bike. Sorry, I made a mistake on my other letter.
I want an elf that can fly to you every night … I want to know if I am on the naughty or nice list.
Who is your best friend? Is it an elf?
How do you deliver all the toys in one night? Do you help your elves make the toys? How many layers do you put on for Christmas Eve?
Do you have a wife and a baby?
–Alexa Rivera Hernandez
I’ve been good and bad.
I did a really good thing. I cleaned up my room!
I wonder what you are going to put in my stocking but I want it to be a surprise!
I have been good. Am I on the naughty list?
–Christian Villalobos Camargo
I saw you last Christmas!
I’ve tried to be nice to my brother, but it is hard … just about the reindeer, are they well fed?
Is your job hard? When are you going to invite me to the North Pole?
I want an iPod, Wii, Xbox, 3DS, Playstation and a computer. That’s all I want … if you come in my house, I will come in your house and give you an iPod, iPad, DSI, 3DS and an iPhone
How are you Santa? I am trying my best. May I please have a pocket knife?
Can you make my grandmo feel good when she wakes up on Christmas morning?