By Clouds McCloud
Gemini: The next year of your life promises to be blessed with luck, so go forth with enthusiasm. And while some folks say it’s better to be lucky than good, Clouds wants to remind you that lucky doesn’t care for lazy. So remember the words of Benjamin Franklin: “Diligence is the mother of good luck.”
Cancer: The Stars are still highlighting communication for your sign. To help, try to take a deep breath before saying anything important. Maybe even try taking a walk or writing in a journal before speaking. And when you do speak, it’s probably a good idea not to refer to anyone as “Tool-io” or “Turdburger.”
Leo: The Stars report that your social life should start to really pick up speed this week. To make the most of it, don’t bring any stresses from work with you. The Stars are also saying that laying low and staying local would be a wise idea too. So to recap: ride your bike or walk to many social gatherings, leaving your work and any co-workers you’d like to run over, at the office.
Virgo: The Stars proudly announce that great financial juju is on it’s way. So start thinking about things such as buying that dream house. It is, after all, a buyer’s market. Therefore, your new financial fable is summed up by the following saying: “If you ever lend someone $20 and never see that person again. It was probably worth it.”
Libra: A Libra recently complained to Clouds that, “Horrorscopes have been subpar for the last couple of weeks.” Naturally, Clouds tried to not take this personally, as most Libras, when they’re feeling poopie or pissy, are prone to forgetting how karma works. So here’s a reminder: How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours. And nothing beats two content karmas treating each other to happy endings.
Scorpio: Since Scorpio is a water sign, your new mantra will come from the Oglala Sioux Indians, who, for the record, have no relation to former Cleveland Indians mascot Chief Wahoo or Atlanta Braves mascot Chief Noc-a-homa: “We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger than even the rocks.”
Sagittarius: The Stars say that it’s important for Sagittarians to get some “Me Time” this month. You know, just get away from life for a while and let your spirit and heart get recharged. You are a fire sign, for crying out loud, and what you need most is air to breath, space to burn and loins to get lonely for.
Capricorn: All aspects of your life might not be running smoothly right now, but the good news is that you’ll be lucky in love. Taurus and Pisces are your best bets in love, especially if you use a line such as: “You really light up my life. I was wondering if I could light up your scoreboard?”
Aquarius: Astrologically speaking, there’s nothing too exciting going on this week. This means you’ll have to be in charge of spicing things up yourself. Clouds recommends adding either Sriracha to any meals except dessert, you can spice that up yourself by saying something such as, “I’ve got something else I’d like to see you shove in your piehole.”
Pisces: It looks as though your work life will be a long and bumpy road this month. Your key to survival and future success will be to ride through this turmoil like it’s a mountain and you’re on a mountain bike. Bear in mind that, while scars are sexy, getting fired for being an impatient knucklehead isn’t.
Aries: Aries are occasionally accused of having the emotional depth of birdbaths. This sometimes causes other people to think that you really only act out of either fear, anger or because you have the patience of a three-year-old. To help others understand that the bird bath comparison does hold some water, it’s just that the bath is made for big birds, your words of wisdom will come from Big Bird himself: “I’m not actually a chicken. I’m a bird on the run.”
Taurus: Overall, June is shaping up to be a lovely month for you. There’ll be time for you, time for some of your favorite people and sometime at the end of the month a positive opportunity of some sort will present itself. The most important thing to remember about opportunity is that sometimes it likes to knock and wait, sometimes it likes to ring the doorbell and then go hide in the bushes.Share Email This Post