Boy, Mono County Supervisor Larry Johnston sure doesn’t think much of the way the Town of Mammoth Lakes conducts business.

And seemed to take particular pleasure in watching Mammoth’s Town Manager MMMartinez and Mayor Matthew Lehman grovel before the Mono County Board of Supervisors at its regular meeting Tuesday.

Martinez and Lehman visited Bridgeport Tuesday because the Town has reached a near-desperate predicament with its Information Technology (I.T.) systems.

As the County’s Information Technology Director Clay Neely said Tuesday, “The Town has serious issues with I.T.” He cited aging equipment and software. “They’ve been down with some of their applications for two and three days at a stretch.”

Chris Carmichael of Carmichael Business Technologies, who has been troubleshooting some of the I.T. headaches for the Town since longtime I.T. specialist Dan Dennis left, estimates that the Town’s computer servers are eight years old, and told The Sheet that they tend to break down weekly, needing to be rebooted. The Town’s also run out of server space, so virtually every week, Carmichael’s clearing space just to get the system to function.

The situation is ripe for finger-wagging, and Johnston is just the guy to wag.

“You’ve ignored critical infrastructure,” he said to Martinez. “It bothers me that you’ve waited so long … It’s essential to modern-day operations.”

Johnston questioned why the Town is so set on raising money to spend on marketing via a BID (Business Improvement District) while it ignores operational necessities.

“We acknowledge that we failed to properly invest in I.T.,” replied MMMartinez. “But it is now a priority … and why we are seeking help.”

Short-term, Martinez said the Town would like to enlist the County’s emergency help to purchase and install two new servers.

Long-term, Martinez appears interested in contracting out I.T. services with the County.

Supervisor Tim Fesko questioned whether this is a partnership the County would wish to pursue.

“I do not believe it’s the County’s job to provide services to another [governmental] entity,” he said. He added that County I.T. staff already has its hands full, and that he would take issue with any County job getting delayed if resources were redeployed to the Town’s benefit.

MMMartinez bluffed back with all the expertise of a poker player holding a pair of fours, noting that working with Carmichael Business Technologies doesn’t require addressing a board of five. “The point is, we have other options,” she said. “We just like this option the best.”

Funny, because when The Sheet spoke to Carmichael Thursday, he said that he had already turned down the Town job, mostly because the Town would not make a long-term commitment – which made him skittish about wanting to hire someone.

And taking on the business with his current staff, he felt, would compromise his customer service to existing clients.

There was also the frustration of continually making proposals to the Town, only to have the Staff liaison quit and have to start all over with the next person.

This happened three times.

Recently, however, Carmichael said he’s lost an account, so “I guess I’m interested again,” he said.

Carmichael acknowledged that while it might not be a lucrative account for him, the Town account would be a “prestige” account, as it would give him the opportunity to fix a disaster.

Supervisors approved a motion to aid the Town with the emergency situation involving the servers. The larger issue is to be negotiated.

(Photo: Ken Harrison)

Taurus: There are basically three things that separate us from fulfilling our dreams: fear, laziness and lack of patience. Now that we’ve got this out of the way, your birthday gift to yourself should be to do away with this ineffective trifecta. The Stars are saying if you can, they’ll not only help you achieve your dreams, they’ll throw in a couple happy endings for no extra charge.

Gemini: What’s the weirdest thing you’d do with the money if you won the lottery? How long is your perfect kiss? Is it easier to judge a person by his/her shoes or smile? What’s your karma record? Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have dated that nut job in the first place? Only you can answers these questions. The rest of us are going for a beer.

Cancer: Some folks say laughter is the best medicine. Some folks say love is the best medicine. Some folks say medicine is the best medicine, but those folks usually work in the health industry and have been bought off by pharmaceutical companies. Clouds says a positive, hopeful attitude, getting lots of fresh air and shagging like you just got rescued from a deserted island are the best medicines.

Leo: Clouds is happy to report that you will soon receive a planetary boost to your love, creative and financial lives. This means anything that’s been stalled should start to move forward again. It also means saying the following won’t be considered too forward: “You really enlighten my life, so I’d love to enlighten you of those shorts.”

Virgo: The Stars have just handed over a traffic report for your life (although sometimes Clouds wonders if they’re really watching the traffic or just looking down ladies’ blouses—this could just be projection though). Nonetheless, the road should start to clear up for you and you can now use the HOV lane: Head Onward Vibrantly.

Libra: Your assignment for the next few weeks is to be the living expression of love on Earth. Your wardrobe can consist of anything comfortable so long as it includes your lucky colors of blue or green. Your extra credit question is: Does Puff the Magic Dragon really live by the sea, and if so, does he ever run into Suzy who sells seashells by the seashore?

Scorpio: The good news is that the Stars have started to do some work on your sign. They plan on shoring things up and relieving some of your worries. The bad news is that they have a Union which demands that they get a couple of long coffee breaks/safety meetings, a few cold ones after work and that you thank them profusely.

Sagittarius: Sagittarians are fiercely independent people, which can sometimes be a blessing and sometimes a curse. It all really depends upon how you handle it. So while honesty is always a good policy, tact is also important, too. Therefore, your new sarcastic saying should be something like:“ If I actually gave a poop, I’d be happy to give it to you.”

Capricorn: Honesty is always the best policy and it will also sets you free, but it’s something most Capricorns fear more than Glenn Beck’s theories—although they’re not alone there. Therefore, try embracing honesty. Adopting this new motto should help: “Sometimes you’re a peacock. Sometimes you’re a feather duster.”

Aquarius: In case you were in need of some positivism in your life, here are some. 1) A 105-year-old Texas woman said eating bacon everyday is the key to her longevity. B) A 114-year-old Georgia woman said the key is to do what you love for as long as you can, as best as you can. III) Countless people who’ve lived to be over a hundred credit regularly drinking beer or red wine and eating chocolate.

Pisces: This much we know is true: We all bleed when we’re cut. We all have ticklish places. We all talk to ourselves, some of just do so softly. Pisces can be too judgmental about others, but people still love them anyway. Sometimes we want to be held, sometimes we want to be left alone. Sometimes you’re the pigeon, sometimes you’re the statute.

Aries: With the economy still working its way out of the dumpster and Ashton Kutcher still on national TV, it’s easy to feel a little depressed right now. But there’s no need to, because once you stop looking at what’s wrong with life, you can’t help but start seeing what’s right about it. Life is a gift for crying out loud. And just in case you think the great creator doesn’t want you to be happy, then please explain beer and orgasms?

-Town Manager MMMartinez

MMM said these words as the workshop preceding Wednesday’s Council meeting was winding down, tired of the abuse she was seemingly taking from all sides.

I suppose that’s the price one pays for the Porsche she drives.

When I tried to reach MMMartinez for follow-up comment on Thursday, I called the Town offices, then dialed the Town Manager’s historical extension (226).

I was surprised to hear former Assistant to the Town Manager Robin Picken’s voice, informing me that former Town Manager Dave Wilbrecht was currently unavailable.

I guess they’re so busy creating new budgets that they don’t have time to change the voicemail message. That or they never check the inbox because returning phone calls would be a superfluous waste of staff time.

So this is what I don’t get. In the FY 2013-14 budgeting process, the Town’s Finance Director, Cyndi Myrold, “discovers” a $91,000 shortfall in revenue (apparently caught the error last week) based upon the commercial airline schedule dropping from seven daily flights to six this past winter. This is part of the $562,000 shortfall projected for FY 2013-2014.

“Why didn’t we catch this?” asked Mammoth Lakes Tourism Executive Director John Urdi rhetorically the day after. “That flight [San Jose] was canceled well before budgets were finalized.”

Further, says Public Works Director Ray Jarvis, even now Finance has no clue how the number was arrived at.

“I don’t know where it came from … I couldn’t re-create that number,” he said.

Jarvis said losing one flight should reduce Town revenue as follows: 122 winter flights multiplied by $240 per flight in landing fees = $29,280.

According to Jarvis, Myrold asked him “How do we explain this [the $91,000 number]?”

Jarvis said he replied, “Beats the crap out of me.”

Makes you wonder how good the rest of the numbers are.

I tried calling Ms. Myrold on Thursday to ask her about the $91,000 but only got an answering machine (which, to her credit, includes a personalized voicemail message for Cyndi Myrold). I then went over to the Town offices to see if personal pestering would help, but Myrold and the rest of the Finance Department (save one staffer), apparently all exhausted by the hard work they’ve been doing lately, checked out at 2 p.m. for the day.

Furthermore, MMMartinez would apparently like to reward her by gifting two additional employees to her department – T.O.T. (Transient Occupancy Tax) compliance positions.

T.O.T. compliance is currently handled by the Community Development Department.

Chamber looks for shelter under MLT umbrella 

On Wednesday, Mammoth Lakes Chamber of Commerce President Jack Copeland sent out an email which stated that “The Chamber Board and I would like to join forces with Mammoth Lakes Tourism for the benefit of businesses, the community and our visitors.”

As Copeland is out of town, I asked MLT’s Urdi what this means.

Urdi said the Chamber would be essentially absorbed as part of MLT. That the Chamber would hire a Director and would retain its Board, but that Urdi would sit as an Ex-Oficio member of that Board and that the Director would ultimately report to Urdi.

Expect the Director’s position to be floated sometime around July 1, with a projected compensation package of approximately $75,000.

BID open house slated for Thursday

For all those who wish to know more about the formation of a proposed Business Improvement District, Rafters will host an open house next Thursday from 5-7 p.m.

If you’d like to study up beforehand, you can visit www.mltbid.com for more information.

Mono County Sheriff’s Dept. joins Facebook

The Mono County Sheriff’s Department has joined the social media bandwagon with the introduction of their official Facebook page. Please visit http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mono-County-Sheriffs-Department/597961140216123 and “like” us.

Good news for County residents, seeing as all that time formerly spent goofing off on Facebook can now be counted as “work” for department employees.

By Jacob Penderworth

Ah, Iron Man. To the Marvel Universe, he’s the iconic philander of Malibu, California. His country praises him for the explosive weaponry he brought it. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) brings many things to his world, but he’s mainly known for his ability to create peace on the Earth. As a part of the Avengers, he aided in the fall of an invasion. He also has his own adventures. But then he fell from greatness, like so many do. The third installment of the cinema’s Iron Man franchise tells this story. Or rather, Tony Stark does.

Things spin off with a flashback. Stark looks back at something he did on New Year’s Day in 2000 that ends up changing his whole perspective. The story Tony tells is a solid one. It’s about a hero who invites an attack from a terrorist and ends up losing nearly everything he loves. The problem is, Tony isn’t sure what he loves. Is it his girl, Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) or do his hobbies come first? And so the story of love and loss goes. I’ll admit I was surprised with the significant plot twists the writers threw at me, but I won’t say they were all that original.

As with the other two Iron Man films, this one approaches humor like Tony Stark in his Audi R8: relentlessly. Most of it seems forced. The typical Iron Man humor of Stark is strong as ever, and growing very dull. Some lines aren’t so bad, but overall I got the feeling that this humor just can’t adapt to a different situation. Instead, Robert Downey Jr.’s character resorts to being obnoxious in any situation thrown at him. Yet somehow the next minute he is able to understand how someone feels and finish a serious conversation. It feels like it wants to be a comedy, joking about truly serious matters and even acting irresponsible in terrorist situations, much like a child. Only this time, it’s so immature that the Iron Man portrayed has reached a new low, one that’s not honorable.

The main problem with the whole film is that Downey Jr. only has so many actor cards and the new director here, Shane Black, used up his last batch early in development, leaving nothing for the rest of the film. That’s why you can easily locate scattered fragments of comical behavior and when you try to put together the puzzle, the pieces don’t fit. The Iron Man watcher is not looking for a family comedy mixed with some Django Unchained, but rather chasing the character Robert Downey Jr. created back in 2008. Where has that magic gone?

Most of the character development went well, until it got to the villain. First, he’s given a short backstory at the beginning of the film, but the writers don’t go into much depth. There are clues here and there as to what the man does with his life, but when it’s suddenly revealed that he’s the terrorist the world seeks, things get interesting. Maybe it was terrible acting on Guy Pearce’s part or maybe there’s just a disconnect between the director and writer, because he almost seems like he’s not paying attention to his character. All I saw was a constant circle of throw, smash, choke, and walk away enraged. He had the potential of — and even seemed to strive toward — being the Joker from The Dark Knight, which is a character that every nemesis suddenly must try to be.

Lastly, the soundtrack. I love hearing a beautiful score whenever possible, but Brian Tyler failed with this composition. The music was a noisy, redundant, and even dull kerfuffle. It had its moments of excitement and there were just too many. That could have been the fault of the film itself, which was thoroughly intense, but all this soundtrack did was make me think the film would be better without it. It wasn’t unoriginal, just overly-epic.

Like with the soundtrack, Iron Man 3 as a whole is overshot. It tries to be so great that it falls just like the hero within. Thankfully, it manages to recover most of its parts and reassemble things by the concluding ten minutes. In a nutshell, this film was disappointing. The trailers made it out to be something completely different and it had a hard time succeeding at just continuing the legacy of Iron Man. It’s good this makes a trilogy because there’s not a reason to keep going. Even though its lesson (heroes must fall; terrorists shall rise) has potential, the implementation isn’t all it could be.

Still, after the credits there was a clear message: “Tony Stark will return.”

Score: 6/10.

Fun fact: In an interview with the Internet Movie Database (IMDb), Robert Downey Jr. noted that “nothing has been the same since New York” because Tony Stark (his character) “peered through dimensions and saw things that others had only speculated at the mild possibility of. As a matter of fact, they said everyone who believed in the stuff he saw was a conspiracy theorist. Everything that has grounded him (Tony Stark) in what he thought was and wasn’t real has changed.”

Iron Man 3 is now playing at Minaret Cinemas in Mammoth Lakes.

Image from spinoff.comicbookresources.com

Get a band, serve some booze, and then, in each successive year, get more bands and serve more booze.

And every year, try to create one more event which has bands and serves booze, filling in all available weekends so that one could conceivably listen to live music and drink booze every day.

On the rare day where there’s no band/booze, we’re all supposed to celebrate sobriety by competing in a triathlon.

While I like music and beer as much as the next guy, it’s hard not to believe we’re at risk of oversaturation.

It makes you want to get away.

Which plays entirely into John Wentworth’s hand.

Wentworth, still Executive Director of Mammoth Lakes Trails and Public Access, believes we shouldn’t become distracted and forget about our municipal commitment to recreation and trails. And he’s not alone. Mammoth Lakes Town Councilmember Rick Wood feels exactly the same way.

Both feel the time has come to create an NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) to oversee recreation in Mammoth. Further, “we need to put all of R [Measure R revenue] into Rec,” said Wood at a lunch meeting Wednesday.

“The next logical step [for the Town] is to offload Rec,” he said. “Except for maybe finance, public works and public safety, government doesn’t do things very well.”

Recreation, said Wood, should function like other Town NGOs established for Housing, Transit and Tourism.

And Rec, said Wood, is what separates Mammoth from everywhere else.

“The ‘It’ is the product. The product is recreation. And trails is the starting point,” he said, summarizing a vision for economic growth in less than 20 words.

Wood acknowledged that he’s uncomfortable with the future direction of how Measure R and U monies are being disbursed. “We’re close to a problem with having [these] funds diluted.” Wood said some of the funding choices too closely resemble special interest handouts.

FAA meeting 

On April 11, a large Mammoth contingent comprised of Ski Area representatives and Town employees visited FAA offices in San Francisco.

According to Town Manager MMMartinez’s statement at Wednesday’s Town Council, “The meeting that occurred between the Town’s representatives and FAA was a meet-and-greet meeting. And I did not go personally for the reason that it was not a … it was not a decision meeting, and I felt that the group was already too large. So we did not really expect any decisions out of that meeting, and therefore there is really not much to report.”

Hmm. Seems like a rather expensive undertaking, hauling seven or eight people over for the day via United Airlines to conduct an innocuous two hour meeting. But as Mammoth’s Public Works Director (and Airport Director) Ray Jarvis said Thursday, “Bringing people shows commitment.”

While a lot has been made of Mammoth’s Airport classification (currently B-III, with aspirations to become C-III and handle larger planes), Jarvis said succinctly, “Our biggest issue is that terminal … when we have three planes on the ground, we can’t handle it. It’s our biggest constraint.”

“My takeaway [from the meeting],” he said, “is that we need to worry more about the client we’re serving right now.”

While the Town’s working forecast for future passenger growth calls for a maximum of 150,000 enplanements annually, the FAA’s Robin Hunt suggested the Town revise that figure lower.

Jarvis said the Town was also told to shoot for maintaining a B-III classification now, addressing the C-III designation later.

Classification, he said, does not strictly determine aircraft.

“If they [an airline] wanted to bring in a 737, they could do it right now. It’s up to the airline to determine if they feel comfortable [doing that],” he said.

The FAA currently has a $20 million cap for grants to finance construction of new airport terminals. Mammoth’s current estimate to finance a new terminal, ramp space and parking is $26 million. But, said Jarvis, the FAA does not finance expenditures for “non-public” spaces like parking lots.

Truax to leave Westin 

Westin Monache General Manager Brent Truax will be leaving the company at the end of the month. Truax told his staff about his imminent departure on Wednesday. Truax, however, has no plans to leave the area and will be pursuing other opportunities.

Speaking of personnel changes, it was awfully weird to walk into Mammoth’s Union Bank branch a few weeks back and see Jeff Buss. No, he wasn’t lost. Buss, long-affiliated with Eastern Sierra Community Bank, is Union’s new branch manager.

Elsewhere on this site … read Lara’s ESUSD story. There are some classic lines in there. Like Superintendent Don Clark saying the bus study shouldn’t cost more than five grand. Five grand to figure out a cost-benefit analysis for two bus routes serving six kids!?! Dear Don, be your own consultant on a bathroom break and save us the money – scratch the numbers on toilet paper for extra credit.

Then there was this gem from Sarah Taylor: “Sometimes two to three more students can make a big difference for the basketball team.” Yeah, ‘cause there’s a plethora of 6’4” kids from Bridgeport who can really ball … right, Dublino?

Finally, speaking of schools, I got this note from Mammoth Elementary a few weeks back saying they didn’t assign the standard homework handout for the week because they had run out of paper.

Two reactions: 1.) Who does the ordering over there? You know Staples delivers next day, right? 2.) If you’re really in a bind, call me. I’ll send over a whole box and throw in a few pencils and paper clips.

And from Geisel’s desk …

Trading one fee for another

A bill recently introduced in the state legislature by Senator Wesley Chesbro (D-Arcata) would levy a 4.8% surcharge on property insurance bills paid by Californians across the state, which would be placed in a dedicated disaster relief fund, amounting to roughly $480 million annually to agencies that respond to emergencies, from fires to floods to earthquakes. If Chesbro’s bill passes, it would replace the SRA Fire Fee legislation, which would be repealed as part of the new bill’s language.

Opponents of the Fire Fee say the new bill only replaces one fire fee with another. Chesbro said the revenue would be earmarked for Cal Fire, the Emergency Management Agency, the state’s Military Department and local first-response agencies. The premium surcharge on all types of property insurance — not just fire— would come to about $48 annually, he added. –San Diego Union Tribune

Transient overlays work County processes

District 4 Supervisor Tim Fesko reported that a move by a north county resident to enact a transient overlay district in the Coleville area met with considerable public resistance during the recent Mono County Planning Commission meeting. According to Fesko, the homeowner sent out the requisite letter of notification to neighboring homes, and reportedly received little response.

The Planning Commission, however, also sent out a notice to the community regarding the agenda item, and this time subsequent outcry was such that the homeowner withdrew the item from consideration, in light of questions raised by neighbors regarding trash, limited water availability and the condition of the neighborhood roads. Mono County recently approved strategic overlays in residential neighborhoods to permit transient rentals of single-family homes on a localized level.

County Development Director Scott Burns said the Planning Commission also approved another overlay, this one in the June Lake area. That overlay is expected to go before the Board in May. “The process worked,” Fesko said.

Local dad goes viral

Late Thursday The Sheet was made aware of a web video gone viral of local Rob Nott busting a move at Coachella. Titled “Coachella’s ‘Rave Dad’ shows off his sweet dance moves,” you can find the video clip at www.ryanseacrest.com.

Aries: It looks as though the Stars recommend that your birthday gift to yourself should be self-acceptance. This is going to be a great year to really get to know yourself. To help it go smoothly, try working on visualizing success, happiness, inner peace and happy endings you don’t have to pay extra for. It might also help to accept the motto of the Springfield Police Department: “If you can’t beat ‘em,  join ‘em.”

Taurus: Since laughter is the most important ingredient in the recipe for your ultimate happiness and success, laugh more often! These lines might help. From Cormac McCarthy: “That’s the problem with Chinese (lovers), an hour later you’re horny again.” From Clouds: “There’s a big difference between doing nearly the right thing and doing exactly the right thing, especially while lovemaking.” And from Jenna on 30 Rock: “Listen up, fives, a ten is speaking.”

Gemini: As with most Geminis, you like to keep your demands simple. All you really ask for is the world, preferably scantily clad and a bit out of breath, on a platter. The question is: Is that too much to ask for? And the answer is: Not really; so long as you’re not a big jerk to too many other people, and you give the server a fat tip. And Clouds doesn’t mean a tip such as: “Don’t tinkle into the wind.”

Cancer: This much we know is true: Sock monkeys were invented in 1932. Sea Monkeys are really just brine shrimp. “Shrimp” is a term for short people, as well as the main ingredient in most scampis, jumbo and etouffee. With Jazz Fest arriving, dance more and remember not to treat the important people in your life like cocktail sauce.

Leo: Many Leos are feeling overwhelmed right now, so remember that it’s always most chaotic before the calm. Lots of good things are headed your way, all you need to do is be prepared. To help, try listening to some John Mayer: “Somewhere broken people, this is me I’m working on. Good Love is on the way.”

Virgo: The rest of the month looks very promising for Virgos careers, even if the rewards won’t arrive for a spell. Just be sure you don’t sell-out your soul. Staying positive will help, so will remembering there isn’t that much of a difference between celebrating while singing “Ave Maria” or bellowing out “Brown Chicken, Brown Cow.”

Libra: It’s true that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. It’s also true that we need to give fear a beat down like it stole our milk money when we were kids, but we’re all grown up now and have watched a lot of Bruce Lee movies. Henceforth, your new mantra comes from the Dragon: “As you think, so shall you become.”

Scorpio: You’ve just entered an ass-trological period where you’ll truly start to figure out what happiness and love really mean in your life, and how best to improve and enjoy them. To get you moving in the right direction, try listening to something that makes you feel good, such as some John Lennon: “Well I tell them there’s no problem, only solutions.”

Sagittarius: A Sagittarian was overheard saying something along these lines: “My Horrorscopes have really sucked eggs recently.” Here’s Cloud’s response: Dear Sagittarius, First, as the old saying goes “the more you complain, the longer you remain.” Next, “I was just wondering how you like your eggs in the morning so I can prepare them properly” is a pretty good pick-up line. Finally, whatever you do, don’t go suck an egg, unless you’re into that sort of thing, in which case, more power to you.

Capricorn: The Stars ask you to try to not make your life so hard. Sure, to spice things up you need a little drama now and then, but you don’t need to turn your life into an endless soap opera. Therefore your new, laissez-faire attitude will be modeled by the Major from the ‘70s TV show, Soap: “Let’s synchronize our watches. It’s now 3-ish.”

Aquarius: The bad news is that you’ll probably be feeling unfulfilled at work or have some struggles with a co-worker for the next few weeks. The good news is you’ll be gaining power and good karma in your career by the end of the month. The key will be to not tell anyone they can “Go eat a turd burger!” Unless you, at least, offer them a beer to wash it down with.

Pisces: Money matters, and that’s really unfortunate because things were a lot simpler back when we could just trade for things. Therefore, to help you better understand your money matters, try to remember that love is free and you deserve as much as you give. So here’s hoping you have someone you can trade out rounds of “Tickle My Elmo” with.

Aries: Clouds is delighted to report that some good ass-trological energy is headed your way. So don’t be surprised if both your creative and procreative juices start flowing like spring run-off in the Eastern Sierra. Therefore, your words of wisdom come from John Muir: “Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.”

Taurus: Your assignment for the week is really pretty simple. In fact, you could call it downright fun. It’s to make up positive new words to describe your life. To help get you started, try doing so while scantily clad and start with “Splend-elicious,” “Karma-tastic” and “Fanni-licious.”

Gemini: The Stars say you should start getting to the bottom of things. You know, dig deep and find out what the truth is, what the foundation is really made out of and what parts need some mending. While this might not be easy, it will be rewarding. So hang in there, and remember that it’s not the occasional cold shoulder that gets you; it’s the knee to the groin.

Cancer: You might have been feeling as though you’ve been having some communication issues recently. Clouds is pleased to report that these snafus are soon to go the way of “New Coke ” and Jay Leno’s popularity. Instead things should start going down as smooth as a good bottle of Pinot Noir. Therefore, your new line comes from the film Sideways: “Just make up whatever you want and that’s what happened.”

Leo: If Leos have been following the Stars advice for the last few years then one word has been constantly drilled into your head: patience. Hopefully your handle on patience has grown strong, because it will come in handy for the next few weeks, while some of your heart’s biggest desires begin their final descents towards you. To help, remember: It’s only the ones crazy enough to think they can actually change the world that ever do.

Virgo: Clouds knows at least three things: Holding a grudge doesn’t get you anywhere; both gettin’ and givin’ love makes you happy; and laughter is the best medicine whenever the pharmacies and bars are closed. Now take these words of wisdom and go out there and tackle the world. P.S. You might want to wear an athletic supporter/sports bra. It can get a little rough out there.

Libra: To help you become as successful as you were born to be, memorize the following. From Wayne Gretzky: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” From Clouds: “Success is getting paid to do what you’re passionate about.” From Oscar Wilde: “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

Scorpio: As a helpful reminder to one of Clouds’ favorite signs: this year will be full of challenges you were born to handle with grace, joy, hard work, love and partial nudity. To help, adopt these lines. From Kelly Clarkson: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” And from Winston Churchill:  “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

Sagittarius: We all evolve. Some of  us do it faster than others, some with more flair. Sometimes you can feel as small as a mouse, other times as large as bear. But don’t worry or have any fear. You can always tell when a Sagittarian is evolving, for they like to do so with flair … and while wearing little more than comfy underwear.

Capricorn: Studies show that there are a handful of keys to happy couplehood. For your convenience, here’s a summary: Touch often; Talk about everything; Be positive; Be able to take “time outs;” Don’t go out and spend time with someone you shouldn’t; At least once a week go on a date, preferably while wearing undergarments illegal in most Southern states.

Aquarius: Since it would be wise for members of this sign to curb their sometimes sharp tongues, here are a few things you might want to refrain from saying: “I only took this job because I thought I could screw my way to the top, but you’re all too damn ugly!” “Shove it up your cornhole!” and “Better to have loved and lost than to have spent my whole life with that nutjob!”

Pisces: Dear Pisces, for many years your motto has come from Crosby, Stills and Nash: “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.” But Clouds has a new motto for you: “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, it’s about time you tried Skype or upgraded your cell phone.”

The rumors were so prevalent that MMSA CEO Rusty Gregory did choose to make the following statement on Thursday: “Mammoth Mountain is a highly coveted asset by those that are in the mountain resort business or that would like to be. MMSA is not for sale and we have not been in discussions with any potential buyers.”

The reason I didn’t write about the Lehman flight reimbursement last week was because I spoke to Mayor Lehman on Thursday morning and decided it wasn’t a story.

Lehman said he flew down for the San Diego Half Marathon (sister event of the inaugural Mammoth Half Marathon to be run June 23) to help promote Mammoth’s event.

He ran a 5K and then worked the Mammoth Visitor Booth with Mammoth Lakes Tourism Executive Director John Urdi.

He stayed at his father’s place 40 minutes north and drove seven hours  back to Mammoth with his father the next day.

$199 doesn’t nearly cover Lehman’s total outlay of time and expense, and speaking for myself, I like having a Mayor who’s out there pressing the flesh and actively promoting the town.

Politically, I thought it was a dumb move – $199 didn’t seem worth the backlash it could evoke – but if the Mayor’s not a terribly good politician, well, not being a terribly good politician is seen as a good thing these days … Maybe he’s outwitted us all on this, just like Wallace Shawn in “The Princess Bride.”

During Wednesday’s Eastern Sierra Council of Governments meeting, ESCOG member Dave Stottlemyre reported that the City of Bishop no longer allows City Council members to sit on the boards of non-governmental NPOs. They are allowed to be regular members, but can’t participate in decision-making.

A similar discussion is pending in Mammoth Lakes. According to Town Manager Marianna Marysheva-Martinez, the Town currently has representatives on the boards of such organizations as the Mammoth Lakes Housing and Mammoth Lakes Tourism. “Previous and current Town Attorneys did not/do not see a conflict of interest in such arrangements,” she said. Recently, however, the State of California determined that a conflict apparently existed with regards to MLH, Which is the only organization subject to a relevant state audit. “As a result, the Town would lose federal housing funds unless we cure the conflict, by either withdrawing our representatives from the MLH board or bringing the housing function in house,” she added.

The issue is set to be discussed at the April 3 Town Council meeting.

Pisces: This much we know is true: Pisces get lost easily; they can remember outfits better than phone numbers; Clouds likes to use semi-colons; just because Pisces seem flighty doesn’t mean they’re idiots; case in point, Piscean Albert Einstein who once said; “The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.”

Aries: It’s probably feeling like your life is one big vision quest. Sure, some of this is probably caused by acid flashbacks, but most of it caused by the fact that a vision quest is exactly what life is. You visualize it and it becomes true. So maybe it’s about time you start working on your creative and even your procreative (wink, wink, nudge, goose) visualization.

Taurus: For the good, albeit stubborn folks of this sign, it all comes down to the simple fact that you’re at your best when feeling appreciated—in love, work and whoopee-making. Of course, appreciation always starts at home. Therefore, your new self-help book should be Guru Pitka’s classic: “Does It Hurt When You Do That? Well Then Don’t Do That!”

Gemini: Geminis like to make a party out of life. This is why they make great fraternity brothers, sorority sisters and ski lift operators. Therefore, Clouds would like to let you know that your partying skills should come in handy soon, since lots of folks will be in the mood for a good party. This doesn’t mean you should party like it’s 1999, more like it’s 1982 and we all still think Reaganomics works.

Cancer: This week the Stars are asking you to live life exactly the way you believe it should be lived. So make sure that you’re doing what you believe you should be doing and not simply doing what someone pressures or guilts you into doing. There is, however, one exception: if you can trade in that guilty deed for a guilty pleasure—or at least a guilty plea to the charge of being “Damn Sexy!”

Leo: It looks like the Stars are aligning in lucky and prosperous angles for you. To make the most of this good karma please be sure to: accept that you deserve it; be open to change; and try not to tell people you soar past to go suck an egg, or anything else for that matter.

Virgo: The best thing most Virgos can do for themselves is to laugh. After all, being serious and stubborn takes it toll. So it’s great to laugh well everyday. “ To help, adopt one these as your new saying: “Always be yourself … unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.” “I pooped today.” “I’m magically delicious.”

Libra: Some people swear by Macs. Others are insane for PCs. But there is still another set of folks who don’t even know how to turn a computer on, let alone surf the net for porn. Libras can usually be found in that latter set. One of the reasons is that Libras, especially for the next few weeks, have dreams too hot and heavy to be put on a hard drive, or even a floppy disk for that matter.

Scorpio: Your role model for the week is Australian born country music star Keith Urban. Like most Scorpios, Urban has gone through periods of massive self-destruction, but like all Scorpios, he’s shown to be more than capable of rising back up. So start dancing along, “Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.”

Sagittarius: In case you’ve forgotten, when you’re feeling good about your love and sex lives everything else in your life flourish as well. Therefore, to help your career, try helping out your love life by whispering to your partner: “I need to be attached to you the way a neutron needs a proton.”

Capricorn: Since it looks like life is still going to be a wee bit bumpy for you as winter bids farewell, Clouds wanted to remind you that better days are on the way. Therefore, that new good luck, dark green t-shirt should read either “Irish I were drunk” or better yet, “Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need good advice.”

Aquarius: Some kind of an issue, maybe from childhood or something that has bothered your family for generations, has probably decided to pop it’s head up. So you basically have two choices: You can lose control and treat it like a game of “Smash the Weasel.” Or you can look it smack dab in its ugly mug and tell it you’re taking your power back.  The second choice is the best and requires lots of moxie. The first can work, buts requires lots of epoxy.

Today, I noticed that its Wild Safari Week on Nick Jr and they had this whole song and dance routine featuring Diego (the male version of Dora The Explorer) and about 20 lions.

Hmm. You think those folks at Cat Haven are watching Diego as part of their training regimen? If Diego can pet the lions …

Speaking of the Lion’s Den, Councilmember Rick Wood was definitely in the spotlight at Wednesday night’s regular meeting of Mammoth’s Town Council. The public comment period preceding the regular agenda lasted almost an hour as various members of the lodging community teed off on the three Councilmembers who voted on Feb. 20 to forgive interest and penalties for an illegal home rental.

Wood listened to about 45 minutes of comment before launching into a 15-minute “explanation” in rebuttal. It was no apology. After all, Elton John would tell you that “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.”

So much harder than me, myself and I and my rates start at $350 an hour.

Rick must’ve been thinking about this speech for weeks.

So this was the explanation. The TOT appeal was a quasi-judicial proceeding where Council was sitting as “judge and jury.” Wood said he and his fellow Councilmembers were bound by the evidence presented, and when no rebuttal evidence was presented, Wood said he didn’t ask for it because he felt that the request would’ve fallen outside his role as judge and jury.

*No rebuttal evidence was likely presented because Staff had prepared such an exhaustive report on the case. Staff also probably assumed that each Councilmember had read his/her agenda packet before the meeting.

Just like I do (laughter).

“We were inexperienced in the process,” said Wood. “Everything’s an experiment for a time or two until you get it right. Maybe.”

An eloquent summation of Rick’s ten years on Council.

The whole thing felt so familiar. By Rick’s reasoning, one should never let the right answer get in the way of process. And let process, not those archaic ideas of right or wrong, be your guide and protector.

Why did Mammoth Airport turn into a $50 million debacle? Because the Town’s leaders and lawyers made a calculated decision to f$%# over Terry Ballas. They knew breaking a contract wasn’t right. But they also believed that they could lawyer themselves out of any responsibility for the deal.

Rick said that he received a lot of “vile” and “vitriolic” emails the morning after the decision, more vile and vitriolic emails over this one case than he has experienced in total in more than a decade of public service.

Rick attributed this to the social media age, where we find ourselves “instantly outraged” and push the send button on our computers before we’ve had a chance to think it through.

He seemed to be pining for the good old days, that age of enlightenment (circa 2004) where community leaders, if they disagreed with you, would call businesses who advertised in this paper and ask them to pull their ads. Among other, more sordid, activities.

Rick, where you are correct is that reasonable people can disagree.

I would also posit that reasonable people can admit they’re wrong.

You misread the response. At a certain point, people just become fed up with what they perceive as a mis-application and misuse of vast talent.

There are many politicians. There are few statesmen.

Weather spotters 

Lunch attended the Storm Spotters workshop down in Bishop on Tuesday. He expected 10 or 12 people might show up.

There were 75. It occurred to him that this is why the Fifty Center runs a story about weather on the front page every week. It also occurred to him that he was surrounded by the Fifty’s 75 readers.

Lunch is personally fond of the weather phenomenon known colloquially as the shitstorm and can spot one every other week in Suite Z.

The National Weather Service recruits storm spotters in this area because the closest radars in Hanford, Las Vegas and Reno effectively triangulate us and make it difficult to provide accurate forecasts and updates.

If you wish to become an unpaid volunteer of the National Weather Service, contact Andy Gorelow at andy.gorelow@noaa.gov.