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Matt and Gracie Hammer with sons Gavin and Preston. (Photo: Vane)

Matt and Gracie Hammer are bringing a taste of elegance to Mammoth this weekend when Black Velvet, their new espresso bar, opens in the Luxury Outlet Mall. “We want this to be the best coffee experience every time,” Matt said.

The Hammers are no strangers to the coffee business. They’ve been in the industry for 13 years, Gracie said, and started Black Velvet Roasting Company 3 years ago. Black Velvet has provided coffee to Nevados, The Side Door, Sierra Sundance, the Hospital, and several other businesses around town, offering in addition a Coffee of the Month Club, and a Locals Club with discounted prices and free hand delivery. “Our goal is to make the freshest, most consistent coffee,” Gracie said.

To that end, the Hammers are keeping things simple at their new espresso bar. No complicated blended drinks assembled out of customer eyesight, just the delicious basics: espresso, Americano, cappuccino, latte, vanilla latte, mocha, hot chocolate, and tea (all with the option of over ice). There are no brewers, Matt said, just pour-overs for the coffee.

For those who may not know, ‘pour-over’ is a new take on brewing coffee; baristas pour water slowly over the ground-up beans, which rest on a filter inside what looks like a ceramic or glass funnel, and into the cup below. The process extracts more nuance and flavor from the beans than traditional coffee-brewing methods.

This cup-by-cup approach to brewing will create greater customer and barista interaction, Matt said. He noted that the counters inside Black Velvet are set 5 inches lower than most coffee shop countertops “to open the space up so really the customer can experience the coffee as it’s being made.”

The coffee itself is of the highest quality: all hard bean and high altitude, which Gracie explained means the bean is denser and more flavorful. The Hammers’ aim is to select and prepare coffee so delectable that customers won’t need any bells and whistles. “I’m not opposed to people putting cream in their coffee,” Matt said, “but let’s try to educate customers so they can find a taste they like without it.”

In keeping with the simplicity and elegance of the Hammers’ approach to coffee, Black Velvet will offer only 1 size: 12 ounces. All coffees and teas will be organic and fair trade, and fresh organic, vegan, and gluten-free pastries will be provided Mimi’s Cookies.

Matt and Gracie have also ensured that there will be enough seating to accommodate customers even during the holiday rush. “We have over 1,000 square feet of seating area,” Matt said. This includes comfortable, “cushy” chairs, stand up bars with stools, and couches. The interior itself is a mix of “elegant and natural,” Gracie said, with white walls and black beams, naked wood for the countertops, as well as rustic touches like gold mining sieves over the light fixtures and a piece of mining conveyer belt equipment transformed into a coffee table.

The Hammers aim to open Black Velvet by Friday, Dec. 16, with holiday hours from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. “This is our passion,” Matt said. “We’re coffee connoisseurs,” Gracie added. “We love what coffee does. It’s community. It brings friends and family together.”

Mimi Kurz urges you to move beyond Chips Ahoy! (Photo: krypstilledge.com)

The keys to maintaining a healthy figure are exercise, a good diet, and lots of cookies … that last part is something I picked up on recently while sitting between two petite, athletic snowboarders on the verge of opening Mammoth’s first cookie bar.

The idea is simple. “It’s like Cold Stone for cookies,” explained cookie baker and co-owner Mimi Kurz. “You don’t have to settle for standard cookies anymore.” At Mimi’s Cookie Bar, you get to create your own.

“I was brought up with the mindset that if you go somewhere, you bring something,” Kurz explained. “So I started bringing cookies, often my dad’s favorite, coconut chocolate chip (the cookie that started it all) to barbecues and parties.”

Her friends loved the tasty treats and told her she should sell them. So in November 2009 the wheels started turning, and by September 2010, Mimi’s Cookie Bar was selling cookies online at www.mimiscookiebar.com. The Mammoth store, opening Sept. 2 next to Salsa’s on Old Mammoth Road, will be the first storefront for the operation. The website will continue to run as well.

How it’s going to work: “Online the minimum order is three dozen cookies because we don’t want to waste anything when we make a batch,” Kurz explained. But in the store there will be other options. Three cookies of the day will be offered and customers can purchase however many they want, be it one or 20. These cookies will be pre-made and waiting for hungry cookie lovers to just stop in and pick up.

Another option will be the daily dough. Come in each day and see what dough is waiting for your cookie creation. This is the chance for those who love fresh, hot cookies right out of the oven to get their fix. Choose up to three ingredients to add to the daily dough and make a custom cookie. Wait approximately 7 and a half minutes (the time it takes to bake a cookie in Mammoth, according to Kurz), and voila! You get a handful of tasty cookies baked to order.

“We limit the number of items that you can add to a cookie to three in order to get the full flavor into the cookie,” Kurz explained. But don’t worry; those three ingredients are really packed into each mouthful. “You never get a bite of just dough with our cookies … I hate cookies like that.” You can also order larger quantities of cookies at the store.

A little help from her friends

Kurz, who grew up snowboarding competitively, originally moved to Mammoth when she first arrived in California from Chicago. She left the ski town about seven years ago to take a job in Southern California with Roxy, but recently, her boyfriend and co-owner of the cookie bar, Delaney Council, landed a job in the marketing department at Mammoth Mountain Ski Area. So it was back to Mammoth for Kurz.

Upon arriving, she hooked up with friends and pro athletes, Kimmy Fasani and Chris Benchetler, who were looking for a good investment and found Kurz to be the perfect fit.

“Chris and I have a crazy sweet tooth,” Fasani explained of herself and her fiancé. “We like dessert after every meal.” But as athletes, they were looking for a unique, healthy option in Mammoth. Kurz’s organic and all natural, zero preservative approach to baking turned out to be the answer.

“When Mimi approached us, a light bulb went off,” Fasani said, and she and Benchetler became co-owners with Kurz and Council.

During the years when the cookie bar was taking shape, Kurz asked other friends from the snowboard industry to create signature cookies as a way to market the business.

“Our market is everyone, I’m just using the people I know [as the faces],” Kurz explained, likening it to the way Gatorade sponsors athletes, but with food.

“It’s [the Friends signature cookie page on the website] also a place to get inspired with ideas for your own cookies; a good starter,” she added.

For example, Jack Mitrani’s PB and J-ack, or Pat Lynch’s Caramel Patted Coconut Chocolate Chip could be just what you need to kick start your taste buds and help you formulate your own cookie creation.

Open Sunday-Thursday 11 a.m.-7 p.m., and Friday-Saturday 11 a.m.-8 p.m. beginning Sept. 2, Mimi’s will also serve frozen yogurt (all of the cookie ingredients can be transferred into a yogurt flavor), black coffee, tea, milk and almond milk. Wi-Fi will also be available.

Z-Bar Ranch’s fundraiser on Feb. 20 for Mammoth’s Snowboard and Freeride teams pulled in $8,175, including a generous $5,000 donation from an anonymous patron. L-R: Cortney Polovina, Brandon Lam, Mike Ramirez, Peri King and Dr. Maria King. (Photo: Geisel)

Original box from 1966.

Wolf dishes on the importance of soggy balls

For the second installment of our “Bar-tivities” series, we take a close look at the Auld Dubliner’s Thursday game night. With $10 pitchers, $2 Pabsts and a slew of other specials, why not set up a couple of beer pong tables and a Twister mat? Of course they offer other “bar-tivities” like darts, pool and foosball, but here I’ll break down the two that give you the best chance of meeting someone.

Beer Pong

What started as an excuse for bros to give each other high fives and talk smack about each other’s moms has turned into one of the most recognizable college games on the planet. Traditionally called Beirut, (beer pong is commonly played with paddles) the object is simple; throw a ping pong ball in a cup of beer and make your sorry buddies chug. Any game that rewards a loser with beer will ultimately gain popularity, so here’s how to dunk your balls with style.

1. Stand back from table on defense

Other than tasting really good, beer also makes you deaf, dumb and blind; hence the constant shouting, the debates on who can do a better P90X workout, and the girl you took home last night who looks like Tyler Perry’s Madea. So, if it’s true that beer turns you into Mr. Magoo, then throw off your opponent’s perception by standing further back from the table. This simple illusion not only makes the cup rack appear closer than it really is, but also makes you look kinda tiny.

2. The secret to soggy balls

Similar to it’s lame cousin the Wiffle ball, a ping pong ball hates to fly straight. Even if you think you’re the Kobe Bryant of pong, you still won’t be able to toss your balls in a straight line. So to improve your release and the ball’s rotation, always douse your jewels in room temperature water before making it rain. Just like a slip n’ slide, the wetter the better. Not only will this practice increase your chances of splashing your balls, it cleans off dog hair and it adds grip! Double bonus!

3. Aim small, miss small

Believe it or not, beer pong actually involves some skill. Though you may think you’re better when your drunk, odds are you’re not. Hint: Don’t be like former Detroit Piston Ben Wallace. Unlike Ben (who seemingly just aimed his shots at the general area of the hoop and hoped for the best) you should actually aim your ball at a small part of a cup. That way, if you miss, you won’t miss too badly. In pong, bricks are better than air balls. You hear that Ben?!

4. Slip a little bounce in there

Some people may groan when reading this, but if you bounce a ball into a cup then the opponent has to drink two beers. So, like any calculated risk, if the timing is right than it’s worth it. But some people hate the bounce and consequently will hate you. The reasoning is simple, it’s embarrassing when you get bounced on. Since your opponent is allowed to swat away any ball that has been bounced, then they should stop practicing their Fresh Prince high fives and actually pay attention. If you’re one of those people that turns into Bobby Knight when you get bounced on, then don’t hate the player, hate the game. Big deal if you have to drink more beer. Like the words spoken so honestly by Barry Badrinath in Beerfest, “I wish it were winter so we could freeze it into ice blocks and skate on it and melt it in the spring time and drink it.”

5. Keep forgetting whose turn it is

As with tennis, nothing annoys your nothing annoys your opponents more than constant talking and questions. I was never that great at tennis in high school, but I was good at getting Professor X on people with dumb questions and constant talking. A game of beer pong is no different. If you constantly recap the rules and attempt to throw when it’s not your turn, you can instantly transform your competitor into a frustrated John McEnroe lunatic. You can’t be serious!

Twister

Besides offering up games like Jenga, Connect Four, foosball and darts, the Dubliner also offers one of the greatest party games of all time, Twister. And if you’re one of the those people who says things like, “Hey I don’t play Twister, it’s for little kids.” Right fist face! You should already know that this game has allowed people to get uncomfortably close to each other’s junk since it’s invention in 1966. (Check out how happy Ron Howard’s doppelganger is on the box cover). Now, there are many ways to excel in Twister, but to be honest, when I ran an Internet search on “Twister tips” it just kept telling me how to roll a huge joint. That said, if you want to be a true Glen Quagmire on the Twister mat then here’s how to do it. Giggity.

1. Don’t wear Rollerblades

I know they look really cool and they make you feel good in knee pads, but Rollerblades have wheels so this maneuver would be considered unwise. Besides, if you want the ability to pull off tech moves (i.e. the London Bridge or the Eiffel Tower), you’re better off with bare feet. Just be aware if you have a bad case of cheese foot than you’re going to contaminate the board. Be sure to wash your hogs if you’re going to let ‘em roam.

2. Be the spin master

Self-renowned author and psychic Therman (played by Zach Galifianakis) in the film “Dinner for Schmucks”) got a sick pleasure out of making people say things such as, “you can eat my pudding.” And similar to Therman, when you’re controlling the spin board during Twister you have maximum brain control over everyone. So don’t just go by what the spinner says. Hold the board close and say whatever you want. It’s not cheating … it’s increasing the chances of landing your buddy’s face next to the other dude’s butt.

3. Wash your junk

It’s recommended to shower before a game of Twister. The game isn’t about being the last one on the Twister board with your ass in the air, it’s about being the last one at the end of the night with your ass in the air. Just like beer pong, you’re a winner even when you lose. Just be sure you smell like an Irish Spring and not an Irish armpit.

4. Stretch it out with Bengay

Prolific tribute band The Wayward Sons, which performed last weekend at Mammoth Rocks, kicked some serious ass. Their secret to a successful show full of high kicks and pelvic thrusts includes some serious stretching – that and tubes and tubes of Bengay. Just be aware that applying Bengay right before a Twister battle can result in a slippery mat and immediate elimination.

5. Avoid tall tees

Though roomy and comfortable, the tall tee (aka the “male urban dress”) is not recommended for a competitive game of Twister. Seemingly sporty and spacious, the tall tee actually hinders one’s movement by trapping the wearer inside an impenetrable bubble of cotton. Like the ancient city of Babylon, the wearer of a tall tee is safe from intruders but unfortunately not able to make any strategic moves. Look for tighter-fitting, stretchy garments, such as a Lycra speed suit or bike shorts with matching top.

There was a farmer who had a dog and she sang karaoke … (Photo: Lakanuki) Here is one popular way of trying to influence Diesel (left), the bingo-caller.

“Loser takes a paddle up the … “
-Todd Wolfhouse, Beerfest

If you don’t want the above to happen to you (or at least have it happen less frequently), read this story.
This summer, many local bars here in Mammoth Lakes have been offering a slew of stellar late night activities (or “bar-tivities”).
For the uninitiated, some of these bar-tivities may seem a bit arcane. So I’ve decided to serve a few tips over the next few weeks to help you thrive.
In our first installment of our “Bartivities” series we discuss some of the games played at the world famous Lakanuki in The Village. They’ve got a Sunday bingo night and a Thursday karaoke night.

Bingo

Before I go into any tips about increasing your chances of winning at bingo, you need to realize that this game is about as complex as Snooki from Jersey Shore. So don’t go into Lakanuki on Sunday nights assuming that you’re the Bill Belichick of the number balls. Lets face it, there will never be a scene in an Ocean’s 11 sequel featuring bingo. Regardless, like all games of chance it’s fun to assume that you’re the master of your own domain, so here’s how to achieve it.
1. Less players = better odds. Just like playing the lottery, this is basic math. The less people in the game, the better the chance you have at winning the cash. However, the downside to less people in attendance is that the winner’s pot is also diminished. If you’re a hyper competitive win-at-all-cost bingo junkie, than you should only try your luck on bingo nights that have crowds similar in size to the number of Jews in the Mel Gibson fan club.
2. Work more than one card. In today’s modern age, multitasking is both a gift and a curse and in terms of bingo this is no exception. The more cards you have in front of you per round, the better your odds. But be warned, the bingo caller (Diesel) can rattle out numbers pretty fast. Last week, I had three cards in front of me and I blacked out from the stress. So unless you have a beautiful mind like John Nash, don’t brain your damage with too many bingo cards.
3. Count those balls. If you’re one of those kids from MIT that got busted for counting cards in Vegas, than this should be easy. But if you’re like the rest of us who struggle to fill out a W2, then stop reading this paragraph right now.
Okay, bingo is played with 75 balls, which means there’s a 1 in 75 chance of a particular number being called. Based on the laws of probability, there will be an almost equal number of odd and even numbered balls, as well as a (near) equal number of high and low balls. This means if you can stay in the game long enough, eventually your balls will be chosen, just like a nerd at a sorority party.
4. Tippett’s Theory. There once was a British statistician named L.H.C. Tippett, who invented a complex theory on randomness. The theory says that the more numbers that are pulled, the more likely the median number will be called. Therefore if you’re playing a short game, and can pick out your own cards then naturally you should pick a card that has numbers closer to 1 or 75. Conversely, if you’re playing a longer game then you should pick a card that has numbers closer to the median number. Tippett’s Theory has never been proven, but it’s comforting to think that an award-winning statistician was so passionate about bingo.
5. Bribe the dealer. This is a risky maneuver that is both dubious and deplorable. Diesel already gives out free shots and tons of bar swag throughout the night, but if you really have to win, no matter what, you can go for the under-the-table handshake. Just make sure you’re actually shaking his hand.

Karaoke

The only thing I remember learning in college is that alcohol makes a lot of things tolerable, and even enjoyable (Beer + X = Awesome). Activities like frisbee, weddings, biathlons and certainly karaoke can definitely benefit from the sauce. That’s why karaoke at Laka is accompanied by a ton of free drink giveaways just for stepping up and getting William Hung on the mic. Not everyone can be the next Clay Aiken, but nonetheless, here are 5 ways to dominate the mic.
1. Pick a song you already know. Have you ever been in a car with someone you’re trying to impress and a song comes on the radio and you don’t know all the words but you pretend like you do? You wish you’d never started, but it’s too late. You’re committed. It starts getting a little embarrassing so you resort to muttering a bunch of nonsense just to make it through the song, “Say, Candie and Ronnie check a moody lit, but they’re blah doo eee eee owww. B-B-B Bennie and Jets.” Yeah, imagine that but with a microphone, plus the car has a bunch of strangers in it. Just because it’s a song you’ve heard a few times and you really like it doesn’t mean it’s the right karaoke song for you.
2. Avoid rap songs. One thing will always be an indisputable hard fact; no one is cooler than P-Diddy. At some point in everyone’s life we have to realize that we may never rock a mohawk as good as Diddy’s. Consequently busting out a Diddy song at karaoke night, or any rap song for that matter, will not get us any closer to that goal. Don’t get me wrong, I love the hip hop, but rapping is hard. And after a couple of beers, it’s really hard. So don’t pick “Getting Jiggy With It” just because you want to repeatedly say “Getting Jiggy With It.” There’s a whole bunch of other words in that song, and you have to read ‘em really fast.
3. Use the microphone. So you’ve picked the perfect song and you’ve even practiced it in the shower before going out. Now you’re up onstage and you’re slaying it. But the only problem is that no one can hear you. You realize that you’re holding the microphone as if your crotch is the one that’s killing the bridge in “Don’t Stop Believing.” What a waste. If you want to be heard you gotta grip that microphone like it’s a Shake Weight with an attached Gatorade nipple.
4. Talk the talk. Walk the walk. A surefire way to earn an awkward applause at the end of your song is to sing it with perfection but with no emotion on your face and while standing perfectly still. Now commence slow clap. Lets be honest, more than likely you’ll never sing the song as good as the original, and you’ll never be able to move like J.T. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t throw in a couple fist pumps or the occasional power stance. Be sure to take some notes at next weekend’s Mammoth Rocks Festival. I’ll be there with pad in hand.
5. Commit to it. Internal thought while doing a karaoke song: “Man, ‘Just a Friend (You Got What I Need)’ is really, really long … Where is everybody? I got onstage with a bunch of my friends and now they’re all gone. Sh*t, now I’m all alone and this song is killing me! I gotta get out of here!”
Don’t be that guy. You chose the song, so YOU RIDE IT OUT TO THE END! If your jackaloon friends leave you onstage, then it’s up to you to be a hero … finish the Biz Markie song with finesse. It’ll probably win you some free sympathy and a free drink.

Z place to Z.  (Photo: Wolf)

Western-style restaurant to open in old Gomez’s location

It only seems fitting that Courtney Polovina (granddaughter of John Tuberville, also known as the Marlboro Man) is opening a western-themed restaurant here in Mammoth Lakes. Pairing the cowboy background along with the fact that she claims she was conceived somewhere inside of Whiskey Creek 33 years ago, only makes the welcoming of her new restaurant, the Z Ranch a harmonious fit for Mammoth.

Pronounced Z Bar Ranch, the concept for the restaurant spawned while Polovina was working at the Bear Flag Fish Co. in Newport Beach alongside Mammoth local and MMSA ski school instructor Parker Hardt. “We always talked about doing a restaurant together and when the opportunity arose to open in Mammoth we just went for it,” said Hardt. To assist Hardt with the managing of the restaurant, Polivina also summoned the help of Mammoth local Ashley Brussel, a longtime manager at the Side Door as well as the Restaurant at Convict Lake. Brussel’s knowledge of the local food and spirits scene will undoubtedly be beneficial to Polovina.

Referring to Z Ranch’s new location at the old Gomez‘s, “It’s always been such a comfortable locals spot,” claims Brussel, “all we have to do is keep it that way.”

The charm of the old Gomez’s A-frame certainly will not be lost even though it’s been getting a complete face-lift over the past few weeks. One of the gripes with the old setup was the lack of an adequate waiting area. To solve this dilemma, “Were turning the whole front end of the restaurant into an open lounge area, complete with bar service,” Hardt claims. This will be a welcome addition, along with the plans for giant elk head, Big Buck Hunter and denim clad servers.

Sorry, no spittoons.

“The idea for this restaurant is a modern spin on a classic ranch house,” says Kristen O’Neil of Gustov International Inc, a design firm out of Newport Beach. “We will have unique black and white prints from the original Z Ranch in Arizona,” which has been in Polovina’s family for generations. “It will look sort of country chic.”

Confused by this I asked if that meant something along the lines of Paris Hilton with a cowboy hat on, O’Neil responded, “No, not that nasty.”

With plans for multiple horseshoe pits, Sunday outdoor barbecues, kids eating free (with paying adult) and ample space for live music, Polovina hopes to establish Z Ranch as a not only a great place to eat but a distinctive place to experience.

Set for a soft opening on Nov. 1, Z Ranch will feature menu items with a southern style flavor such as beer can chicken, grilled fish sticks, catfish, trout and barbecue. “The idea is to create a southern style menu that’s delicious but also very local friendly,” Polovina says.

Stocked with full beer and wine menu, as well as a massive assortment of scotch and bourbon whiskeys (pending liquor license), Z Ranch will more than likely be a local’s favorite.

When asked if there would be a mechanical bull Polovina replied, “We’re still deciding, but we’re always open to suggestions.”