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Recently, another player joined the retired NFL players lawsuit regarding player safety and concussions.

Everyone is riding this gravy train. Guys that played and never made a tackle are filing lawsuits.

Example: A guy who is a lawyer now and running a successful practice in Tampa and has commercials all over television is joining the lawsuit. But it gets better. A punter joined the lawsuit, too. A punter? How can you stand in front of a judge and say you were irrepairably damaged if you were either of these guys?

NFL Draft Day Hats. Did anyone see these?? They were horrible. Just because young kids want to wear big- ass hats with flat bills that are too big for their heads and look ridiculous doesn’t mean the NFL should fall for the trend. Everyone who wore ‘em looked like they should have Justin Bieber posters on their bedroom walls and an extra pair of shorts on under their pants so you can see them while they bust a sag with their pants falling around their knees.

THIS HAS ALSO GOT TO STOP: Tedy Bruschi. ESPN has given Bruschi carte-blanche to rant and rave about the Patriot Way and everything Belichick- or Patriot-related like it is the only way the NFL should be run. SHUT UP. There was Bruschi a few weeks back blasting Raven Coach John Harbaugh for DARING to say something bad about the Patriots. Then I read an article where “Harbaugh contacted Bruschi and Tedy accepted Harbaugh’s explanation and apology.” Puke.

I miss the days when BOUNTY meant “the quicker picker-upper.” I am sick of the Saints, Vilma, Hargrove, the NFL Player’s Association … screw ‘em all. All you need to know is the defensive coordinator responsible for it all got suspended, took his punishment and shut up. Saints LB Jonathan Vilma wasn’t interested in defending himself when it was the coaches getting hammered. It wasn’t until he got the full year without pay that everything got real to him. He knows they are wrong. He is trying  to protect that paycheck and realizing at his age a full year out … may finish him.

Falcon WR Roddy White is spouting off again, proving the old adage that football players are like children and should be seen and not heard, and any people who listen to football players endorse political candidates or an automobile even, should be similarly ignored.

White says if he can’t walk at 50 years old, playing football is all worth it. And a bunch of people on Profootballtalk.com are praising him for his take. Many say they would gladly give up their legs for the chance to earn $50 million during their lifetimes and set up their family’s financial future.

It is appalling to me to have people so quickly discount how important things are that they don’t really expect to live without. There are people going to war or suffering terrible diseases who actually lose limbs and to hear people say they would give up their health for money is disgusting.

Roddy White says this stuff ‘cause he doesn’t really think it will happen to him. He is young and stupid. If you asked me if I would give up my legs to earn $50 million I would tell you HELL NO! I will continue to earn a decent living and attempt to provide for my family by working. I have enough respect for those that suffer injury/disease/illness to discount such trial and tribulation for a few bills. Now a pinkie … i would chew one off right now for $1 million, but no legs and no walking? No way.

Sure, people lead great lives without the ability to walk and I am not saying anything negative about that. I am saying it is pitiful to sell your ability to walk for money. When I am 50, my son will be 18. I would like to play golf with my son at that age. I would like to walk my daughter down the aisle one day when she marries. I would like to golf and play baseball with my grandson. I wouldn’t sell those things for money. I have more belief in myself to provide and earn a living than that.

The St. Louis Rams want a retractable roof for their stadium. I think they are the only ones who would want that. Why would they open up that stadium and expose the surrounding area to their toxic brand of football?

Oh right, they can acquire Tim Tebow so God can reach down and bless their games … but we all know that won’t help.

The Boston Red Sox are imploding again. This one I believe is calculated. If former Manager Terry Francona got run off for losing control of this band of idiots … maybe the idiots feel they can get rid of Bobby Valentine’s dumbass the same way.

This time, Pitcher Josh Beckett,  scratched from a start due to injury,  apparently decided to go play golf with fellow pitcher Clay Buchholz THE NEXT DAY.

Mike Woodson, coach of the Knicks.  That beard is ridiculous. It looks like he is eating out an Ewok. He should trim that thing or just lose it completely.

Knick forward Carmelo Anthony had another great postseason statistically … and another first round exit. Wow. Nine years in the league. His teams are 2-9 in playoff series with an overall record of 17-37. Ouch.

Former All-Pro Defensive Tackle Warren Sapp filed bankruptcy. Bankruptcy. He made approximately $80 million during his pro career and has only been gone from the game for a few years, and now he is bankrupt. And it wasn’t because of a huge financial tragedy. Among his so-called assets:

1. 240 pairs of Jordan sneakers and sandals.

2. A lion skin rug … from the Walmart Kenya collection valued at $1,200.

If anyone is wondering why this dumbass is broke, wonder no more. Funny thing is, I was reading an article online where some dumbass, probably Warren Sapp in disguise, was chastising people making fun of Sapp. The moron said, “You people don’t know what you are talking about saying he blew $100 million. With taxes and all he probably only got half that after the government took their share and then he had to pay alimony and child support.”

And hold on, ‘cause this one had me rolling -  “And why does he have to pay $50,000 a month for that … no one deserves that much of his money.”

So he only blew about $50 million. Stupid me. And he had to actually pay the government taxes so his fat ass can drive his many vehicles on public roads and benefit from the freedoms that he enjoys courtesy of the U.S.Government. Silly me. AND THE NERVE OF THE COURTs to make that fat punk pay for the offspring he was so generous to grace the rest of us with.

Lamar Odom has completely flamed out. He was the 6th man of the year last year and this year…..he gets put on the inactive list before the season ends while his team is preparing to defend a title. I don’t get it. Some of these athletes have no heart. No  character and no heart.

University of Arkansas got what it deserved.  When the Razorbacks took that lowlife Bobby Petrino from the Falcons and made him Head Football Coach, he exhibited very little class or character. I still remember him ducking out of the Falcons job and writing notes that he left on the players’ lockers as he left like the Baltimore Colts in the middle of the night. And the very same morning he was on TV doing the “Razorback Hog Call” at a press conference.

I wrote then that he was a person I wouldn’t hire to run my organization. If he screwed another organization to get to yours, he will sctrew you, too.

What Petrino was screwing this time was a 25-year old Arkansas alum female, whiom he had hired to run some portion of the football program.

Can’t imagine how she beat out the other 250 applicants for the job.

A company just took over running a golf tournament in Mississippi. They had a press release that stated: All the stars on the PGA Tour including Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy, Phil Mickelson, Vijay Singh, Dustin Johnson, Keegan Bradley, Bubba Watson and more are expected to compete for the $3 million purse. The tournament will feature a standard eligibility field of 132 players and 72 holes of stroke play. Past champions of the tournament include Fred Funk (2004), John Huston (2003), Steve Lowery (2000), the reigning FedEx Cup champion Bill Haas (2010) and the current No. 1 in the world ranking, Luke Donald (2002).

Now the company that is taking over this tournament is new to this event, but even a novice golf tournament director would realize that the TRUE SOUTH CLASSIC is held in Mississippi the same week as … the British Open.OOPS. When they did realize it, they released the following statement: Due to an error in the previously sent press release, this sentence should have been omitted: ‘All the stars on the PGA Tour including Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy, Phil Mickelson, Vijay Singh, Dustin Johnson, Keegan Bradley, Bubba Watson and more are expected to compete for the $3 million purse.’

Skip Bayless got punked on national TV, courtesy of Jalen Rose.

Skip Bayless is a sportscaster and someone who comes on TV and blasts every single athlete who is popular and famous just to create shock. He is the sports equivalent of Rush Limbaugh. A bunch of lies and hypocrisy. It has long humored and irritated me that ESPN employs that jackass. He has been relentless in his attacks on Tiger Woods (even when Tiger was dominating golf) and many others. Now he is crucifying Oklahoma City point guard Russell Westbrook relentlessly. And his belief that athletes have to come on his stupid show and as he says “defend themselves “ against his relentless attacks makes me want to hit him in the mouth. Like an athlete needs to come on your show to disprove your ridiculous opinions of them?

But in his attacks on Russell Westbrook, Skip Clueless went on and on about how he started for his high school basketball team and led them to the state finals but his problem was he was a “Pete Maravich” type that shot too much and learned his lesson the hard way that a point guard can’t play that way.

It sounded like Bayless was Jimmy Chitwood himself playing point guard in the movie “Hoosiers.”

Well, Jalen Rose probably got tired of sitting there listening to Bayless bash basketball players when he has no real basketball knowledge, so he ate his ass up the other day.

He found some research that indicated Skip Bayless played for his varsity basketball team ONLY his senior year. Clueless played in only 15 of his team’s 22 games … hmmm, starter?? And scored fewer points (1.4 points per game) than ANY player on his team his senior season.

Skip fumbled and stuttered while Rose ate him up. And the best thing is he got his ass-whipping on national TV.

To hear him consider himself a Pistol-Pete type on national TV and then find out he scored less than 2 points a game was priceless. Pistol Pete? Yeah and I am Wilt Chamberlain with my sexual exploits. I have slept with more than 11,000 women in my life … if you count Vanessa Del Rio, Ginger Lynn, Nina Hartley, Angel Kelly, Jynx Maze, Kelly Divine, Bobbi Starr, Jada Fire …ohhhhhh. Watching Porn doesn’t count? Damn.

A BIG THANK YOU to Jalen Rose for one of the happiest TV moments of my life.

Ahhhh. The Free Agent season begins. That means some dumb teams are already making it rain … throwing money after players they shouldn’t overpay for. And the ones that usually get in trouble are the ones paying for players the first day of free agency … the same people that run to the store on Black Friday for that one $300 car and come back with $10,000 worth of other stuff that is worth $6,000. Classic dummies. A quick list after just the first day or so of examples:

1. Niners sign Randy Moss. Why? You take a QB who is a true rebuilding project in Alex Smith and you put one of the worst diva, me-first WRs and teammates with him? I don’t get it. And when I hear people say it is a no-risk signing it makes me want to punch those people in the mouth. The same people saying it is no-risk will dog the team when Randy Moss gets benched and kicked off the team. This bum admits to taking plays off and a coach who preaches hard work and team togetherness signs this jerk to infect his locker-room. I don’t get it.

2. Bears trade for Brandon Marshall. Why? Cuz him and Jay Cutler are buddies. Now you have a malcontent QB and a malcontent, miscreant WR to go with him? Wow. This is a terrible trade. And Brandon Marshall was in another incident in a bar just this past weekend. He is accused of “accidentally punching a woman in the face” while trying to protect his wife who was hit in the head with a bottle? LOL. And it isn’t Brandon’s fault I am sure. But I know this, you know where you don’t punch a woman in the face or your mom gets hit in the head with a bottle? At your house … oh … maybe not cuz didn’t Marshall get accused of beating the hell out of his old girlfriends. Bigger question … how does a wife-beater have a wife? Cuz just like in football, where if you are a complete jerk and you have talent, you will still get a job with some team and make a bunch of money. And you can parlay that money into a long and fulfilling life of being a jerk off the field. Cuz if you are a complete jerk with money, you will still get a girlfriend. Sometimes 3 or 4 of them at at the same time. Funny right?

3. Vincent Jackson for $55 million for 5 years. He is 29 years old. I don’t like the overall signing. If they went 3 years with a 4 option you could see it, but they will say “we needed the fifth year for him to sign.” Then they should let some other team have him for 5 years. He is good, not great. Mike Williams will be better with Jackson over there, but still too much for a receiver that can disappear in games completely.

4. Desean Jackson … the Eagles paid him cuz they are afraid of him being a free agent. So they paid the malcontent $51 million. Another jerk with talent.

5. Pierre Garcon got $42 million for 5 years? Pierre Garcon. Wow. This one will go down with the Alvin Harper deal.

6. Cortland Finnegan. The Rams and their new genius coach Jeff Fisher signed Finnegan for $51 million? Isn’t he over 30 right now as a CB and wasn’t fast when he was 24. Unbelievable.

7. Peyton Hillis. What about his behavior and performance last year made a team want to waste salary, roster space or a jock strap on that punk? I could find a Peyton Hillis in the fifth round of the draft. And dare him to have an attitude or I would threaten to cut him and sign his best friend to fill his rule. Punk.

More Randy Moss. Randy Moss had one thing … speed. Consider that he was naturally gifted but didn’t work out anymore then Jabba the Hutt. So he is mid-thirties now and doesn’t take care of himself. He is one of the people you know that can eat McRib sandwiches for breakfast and 3a.m. snacks and won’t gain a pound. But he will pull a hamstring and miss 10 games. What a mess.

The Colts should draft RG3 just to mess with the Skins and get the last few draft picks the Skins have this decade.

Teams under the salary cap. Check the top 10 and their records. I know they say spending money doesn’t guarantee success and spending unwisely can clearly lead to a messed up team. But not spending at all means you end up with a Yugo that doesn’t perform well instead of a Honda. Look at the ten teams with the most money under the salary cap:

Jaguars picked up Chad Henne to push Blaine Gabbert. Now two things:

1. If you draft a QB in the first 15 picks AND you need someone to push him, you made a bad pick and he sucks

2. If you need Chad Henne to push your franchise QB then you made a bad pick and he sucks AND you suck too for drafting him.

Mark Sanchez says his contract shows he is a leader? Lol. The Jets got more leverage in his contract to cut him AND reduce their salary cap exposure when they do and he is bragging how the contract proves his leadership? That bum is delusional. He has talked himself into so much good fortune he actually believes the bull that comes out of his mouth. And the worst part is the Jets humor him by saying they “passed on Peyton Manning.” That is laughable. Yeah, and Gabrielle Union offered me some rear last week and I said, NAH, that’s aight, my hand is better. Get out of here. The Jets passed on Manning? The Jets organization has no class from top to bottom.

Danny Amendola. Pats thinking of giving up second round pick maybe to get him. From the Rams of course cuz the Pats and their “remarkable braintrust” couldn’t possibly find an average player themselves in the fourth round or lower. They have to wait for some other team to draft someone in the sixth round or pick him up via free agency and mold him into an average player so the Pats can see that player fits the Patriot Way so the Pats can give them a decent draft pick for that player. Makes sense, right? What happened that the Pats need Danny Amendiola … Ran out of 5 foot tall white receivers. Now they couldn’t find a 5 foot tall white receiver in the sixth round with one of his 30 draft picks. Hilarious. The genius at work. Looking for castoffs from other teams to waste draft picks on? Seriously … he can’t find one of these guys without wasting second round picks on them?

If you sign with the Jacksonville Jaguars, Laurent Robinson, just tell the truth. You don’t give a crap about winning, or competing. You just want whoever pays you the most money. Really, if you go to the Jaguars what could you possibly say to your friends to justify signing with them. Think about it. Ted, look at Pete and Colin and Geisel and say “I signed with the Jags cuz I know we have a real chance of winning.” Then sit back and wait for them to throttle you, or frisk you for a crack pipe. If you sign with them just look at your friends and say “I’m RICH.” And don’t say anything else.

Dwight Howard says he wants to stay in Orlando til the end of the season. He will ruin them. He said today he would sign an extension. When they sent him the papers he said his agent wouldn’t let him? You know what? The Magic need to trade him NOW. They are about to get ruined. He is playing with them and like Lebron he is one of the new breed of athlete. Destined to be a follower and not a leader. Too concerned with what people think of him. Unable to make decisions. He is going to waffle and waffle and then walk away and the Magic will get Nothing. If the Magic have any sense they will remember Shaq ruining them and trade him tomorrow. They have to.

How in the world are Brock Ostweiler, Brandon Weedin and Scott Taneyhill now high first round draft picks? Because the top two QBs are gone, everyone is willing to reach and pick those bums early? Stupid. That’s why the Vikings are looking at Ponder now and wondering what the heck they were thinking.

Before the season all the experts sat on TV saying “the Dolphins are a leader. It makes perfect sense” and they all said it like they knew. Like … experts. I can still see John Clayton with that smug look on his face like it pains him to talk to us unenlightened peons. Now that Manning is showing so little interest in the Dolphins, every one of those experts is on TV, just as smugly, saying how the Dolphins don’t fit into Manning’s plans. As you read this and wonder why I think I know everything I will say this: every one of those experts whose bull you take as gospel know as much as I do. They are guessing. NOT ONE of them was talking about Denver. It was Miami and Arizona. And as soon as he visited Denver every one of those guys was talking about Denver being the favorite. Now they still have Denver listed as the favorite. Then Tennessee jumped in and everyone is listing Tennesse e as number 2. They don’t know anything.

John Clayton. I hate that guy. He sits there with that pencil neck and his bulbous head, a messed up tilt to his posture and that smug look on his face. They call him the professor and he sucks up that stuff like he deserves it. The funniest thing I heard about him was when Sean Salisbury called him the CRYPTKEEPER. I laughed for a month.

You know which teams are quiet right now: The Steelers. Cuz they don’t need the free agent frenzy. Why? Cuz they know how to draft. All these teams throwing around money don’t know how to draft. Hire a good GM dummies.

If I hear one more time that Peyton Manning won’t play in the NFC East cuz he doesn’t want to play his brother twice a year I am going to slap someone. Wouldn’t you think it be cool to play your brother twice a year? Punks.

Funniest thing I heard this week: “If the Titans sign Manning, what do they do with Hasselbeck and Locker? That makes no sense.” I laughed my butt off. The same person later in the week was saying how the Titans are a serious contender now. What a dummy. Who would care about Hasselbeck or Jake Locker? Really. I need a TV show.

What happened to Linsanity? That shit was on every sports channel including the NFL network. Now the Knicks are losing games like the Charlotte Bobcats with Jeremy Lin. Know what happened? No not Carmelo, game film happened. Same thing that happened to Chloe the porn star … too much camera time and too much game film … stuff got old. Not to me, but you know. They figured him out. But they will blame Carmelo. I blame the GM. I told you Carmelo and Amare are second tier superstars and not a BIG THREE … HECK THEY AIN’T EVEN A BIG TWO. So the expectations were crazy. But where are all the people saying the Knicks were playoff and deep playoff contenders? Where are they? WHERE?

I picked my NCAA champion. Two winners; North Carolina and Missouri. Kentucky will flame out cuz they will never have experience. Too many one and done players. But tomorrow morning I would love to be off to watch the festivities. The opening round of the tournament. Gentlemen, THE BALL IS TIPPED, AND THERE YOU ARE. That’s It. I can’t take tomorrow and Friday off but I am definitely leaving early tomorrow. Got to do it.

I found Keegan Bradley … little pieces of him all over the back nine last week. With a real chance to win last week he started putting up a bunch of SQUARES ON HIS SCORECARD. HIS SCORE CARD ON THE BACK NINE SHOULD HAVE BEEN NICKNAMED SPONGEBOB SQUARECARD. He had his 15 minutes and frankly me and Paul talking about him extended him to 18 minutes of fame, but time is messing up. Enough about Keegan Bradley already. I am moving on.

Continuing with golf. Everyone talks about parity in golf. I see mediocrity. All the talk about Rory even though he has won one tournament in six months. Tiger dominated and people said he had no competition. Rory has less competition and everyone bragging about him finishing 2^nd and 3^rd and 4^th. Shut up. When Tiger finished like that it was always about some no-name beating him. Rory can finish 2^nd and be glorified. Hypocrisy. Sergio Garcia had a 12 on a hole. I bet I can get a 12 on that hole. But no one said anything. Tiger got a 5 on the hole and the world came to a stop.

Peyton Manning is a free agent. And this whole Peyton thing makes me wonder why, in both sports and life, the majority is either misguided or just plain wrong. Is it emotions or memories of what athletes once were that makes people lose their minds? Haven’t we seen Peyton’s situation before? EVERY NFL QB’s career is over at some point. Clearly in Peyton’s case he was a great QB, but isn’t it possible this injury is it for him? Fans say the Colts are crazy to let him go. That really makes me laugh. Why would any team pay him $28 million not knowing if he will ever play, let alone play well, again? The Colts made the right choice and cut him loose. Right move.

Think about some of the sad finishes to glorious careers. Joe Montana finished his career as a Chief. Johnny Unitas finished as a Charger. Joe Namath finished up as a Ram.

For the teams that want to spend a ton of money on Peyton and pin their hopes on him, I have one question: “How do you know he is physically ready to play football again?” Go ahead, build your whole offense, player assignments, and draft and free agent picks around Peyton. He’s only coming off 4 neck surgeries! It makes no sense, and most of the teams that want him are already too flawed for Manning to make much of a difference anyway.

The Washington Redskins have made NO good decisions from Bruce Smith to Deion Sanders, to Steve Spurrier to Mike and Kyle Shanahan, and Donovan McNabb and Albert Haynesworth. They have made terrible decisions with current QBs Rex Grossman and John Beck. And now they want Peyton for another “championship run” that will never materialize. That is a disaster waiting to happen. Former ‘Skin QB Joe Theismann said it would be a horrible decision and he was vilified. BUT he was RIGHT! They are a Peyton away from having a killer QB like I am a pair of Nikes away from being Michael Jordan.

The Miami Dolphins brought in Bill Parcells and Tony Sparano. They passed on Drew Brees for Daunte Culpepper. They drafted Chad Henne. They have made poor decisions, but they can avoid another one. Draft a QB or get Matt Flynn for a new coach, but AVOID Peyton.

The Arizona Cardinals … well, really? They just did the “Can’t Miss Kevin Kolb” thing last year and one year later are looking for a replacement … this after playing Kurt Warner. Draft a real QB and build a real team.

The Seattle Seahawks, meanwhile, have fans saying they have an “elite” defense now and just need a QB to take them over the top. Stop! You’re killing me! My sides are hurting I’m laughing so hard! Boy, are they in for a rude awakening. The Seahawks’ defensive backs played way over their heads while holding and pulling on WRs, and will be heavily flagged by wary refs this coming season. Linebacker Brandon Browner playing as a CB got flagged as much as the Cowboys’ Terrence Newman. Something’s not right with him.

Seahawk talk show hosts say, “The Hawks receivers are as good as the Dolphins’.” We have Sidney Rice, who is a very good receiver when healthy, Mike Williams and Doug Baldwin.

I think some people are put on the planet just to make me laugh.

Consider this. Who would you take: Brandon Marshall or Sidney Rice? Rice, even when he is healthy, which isn’t often … not a chance. Brandon Marshall any day of the week. Any Dolphins WR or Mike Williams? Mike Williams is a loser. DOLPHINS.

The whole thing boils down to one thing: Peyton isn’t even ready to play. So, what DO you pay him? Do you pass on drafting a QB to pick up Manning? Don’t do it, but somebody probably will, so here’s my Peyton Prediction: the Eagles take him. Andy Reid steps up in another desperate move, and trades Michael Vick to the Redskins.

My final Peyton word of warning: If you are a team that plays in bad weather, you should definitely forget Manning. Seattle, Denver, NY Jets, picture him out there with a bad neck and a weak arm throwing in the rain, cold and wind. He wasn’t great in bad weather when he was healthy. Buyer beware.

… So, the New Orleans Saints had a bounty system. And so did every other team in the NFL. The only mistake the Saints made was in having Gregg Williams, the dumbest defensive coordinator in the world, on their team. For him to donate his own money AND be the one organizing the system is ridiculous. And now is the time for the commissioner, Roger Goodell, that hypocrite, to back up his talk. He has been dogging players and fining players for hits that are within the rules and claiming player safety. Now he has a coach that has been running a program that spits directly in his face. How will he fine that?

I think Williams should get banned from the league. He knows the policies AND was warned to stop the program and still kept doing it. Oh, and by the way, the Saints’ owner, Tom Benson, fully supports his coach, Sean Payton, and GM, Mickey Loomis, who knew about the Bounty program!

The good news: March Madness is here, baby! The magic of the NCAA tourney opening rounds, the upsets, the heartbreak and then THE BALL IS TIPPED. I can’t wait!

The combine is over. The spandex unitards are funky and sweaty, and teams are salivating over the aptly dubbed, “Underwear Olympics.” And despite all the things that happened one thing is clear. THE JETS JUST DON’T GET IT.

I told you their problems start with the top and filter down to the bottom. The Jets General Manager, Mike Tannenbaum, in a TV interview said the team won’t rule out Peyton Manning and that their QB situation, “will look a lot different at the start of the season.”

Now everyone knows that means they need a veteran backup, because Mark Brunell isn’t the solution. But now Coach Rex Ryan and Tannenbaum have both said they are interested in Manning. Which raises the question: why are they putting more discontent and unrest on the team? 1. Manning isn’t going to a dysfunctional team with a jackass head coach and jackass GM and jackass owners who can’t keep their mouths shut. Manning needs total control and the Jets frankly aren’t worth his time, much less his trouble. 2. Manning hasn’t proven he is capable of playing again. 3. Even if he does, he’s not going to fit into a GROUND AND POUND offense. Seriously, what ARE the Jets thinking? Are they THAT clueless?

The fact that they stand behind Ryan and his miserable method of running a team indicates they DON’T have a clue and they keep affirming that every time they bring up Manning.

Now … Dontari Poe, a 346-pound defensive lineman ran a 40-yard dash in 4.87 seconds. How is someone that big running that fast? That is impressive.

I love Hines Ward as a Steelers fan. I think he has carried the Steelers mentality and history through some rough times. From the tough Rod Woodson and Greg Lloyd days through the Tommy Maddox days he has been a model of the Steelers way. But, Ward to be cut by the Steelers and the shock is, well, unwarranted. Look, they force-fed him the last few weeks of the season to get him 1,000 catches and everyone saw him standing on the sidelines as the 4th WR in the Steelers offense. Now I believe they will bring him back, but for league minimum. That’s all he is good for at this point; he can’t play special teams. He should come back at minimum salary, work a clipboard when he is inactive and be a coach in training. He still has value, but it would be a waste to see him go sit on the sidelines and bench for the Bengals or Browns. No, that’s just stupid. Setup your coaching career with the Steelers, Hines … that’s the smart play.

The NFL’s season-opening game has been moved to Wednesday instead of Thursday because of Obama’s re-nomination at the Democratic National Convention. Good for me, I get football a day earlier.

The NFL should do away with the franchise tag as it is. I can’t believe the player’s union didn’t get a rule in the collective bargaining agreement that the Franchise tag can only be used on a player ONE TIME. How did they settle for something like that? They can tag you 2 years in a row and keep you on a risky one-year contract? That’s just nuts.

Rob Dibble’s radio show. First let me say I don’t know how Rob Dibble got a radio show. Isn’t he the pitcher that was going to fight his manager, Lou Piniella, in the locker-room? Hilarious. But that jackass really pissed me off today. I had to listen to him whining on the radio about how the college and NBA systems are screwing the NCAA basketball coaches. Really? He complained about how these 19-year-old kids only have to play one year of college basketball before they can jump to the NBA and it isn’t fair to the university or the coaches. Get out of here. These coaches have shoe and TV contracts and make a few million dollars a year. The schools make a mint selling the jerseys and games, and NCAA tourney and game tickets, and Dibble gripes about the players getting to go pro and earn a living after one year? Dibble was a baseball player. MLB teams draft kids right out of high school. If the NCAA looked out for those kids, maybe I’d care more, but they don’t … and the coaches and universities still get paid. They have boosters paying the coaches millions, jack up tuition every year despite making millions every year, and from my Lay-Z-Boy don’t have the right to bitch. AT ALL. And neither does Dibble.

Let me ask you a question. Why does the media dog Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo for his playoff performance but call Atlanta Falcons QB Matt Ryan “Matty Ice.” Ryan hasn’t won a single playoff game and they talk about how great he is, but Romo gets dogged. Now I hate the Cowboys and Romo, but give me a break. Ryan has lost every playoff game. He had weapons this year: Michael Turner, Tony Gonzales, Roddy White, Julio Jones, Jazquizz Rogers … and “Ice” racked up 2 lousy points in the playoff game. And those were scored by the defense on a safety! What do the pundits see in this guy?

I heard people say, “The Steelers draft this year is vitally important. They need players and they have salary cap issues so can’t pursue free agents.” Now this burns me up. Name the last high-priced free agent the Steelers signed. I bet you can’t … because they don’t. Sports broadcasting and sports writing “experts” … yeah, right! Morons. The Steelers NEVER SIGN BIG NAME FREE AGENTS. Ever. Every year the Steelers draft is important … that’s how they put together their team. Their stars are all drafted players. Why the NFL and the experts can’t acknowledge that is beyond me. The Steelers lose players to free agency, because they plug in another draft pick and feed the system. And think about the Steelers that lose. What they do elsewhere? Name a Steelers player that went somewhere else and became a star. The Steelers kept Alan Faneca ‘til they thought he was done, and two years later he was done. Joey Porter hung around for a couple years. The one you go back to is Rod Woodson. So I am flying to ESPN headquarters tomorrow to punch those experts in the mouth. Then to the NFL network headquarters … more punches to the mouth. Experts … hah! Morons!

Parting shots …

Watched “American Idol” pare down to the final 24. I have to say, the 12 guys all suck. I watched their performances and couldn’t find one of them that would be worthy of collecting coins on the local freeway off-ramp.

Then tonight the women went on. And there were 4 of them that blew the doors off the joint. Elsie Testone (whose last name is, I must point out, eerily close to “testosterone”) blew it up. She is from Charleston, South Carolina, and that probably explains why I like her to a certain extent. Charleston is my old stomping ground. Love and miss that place. Jessica Sanchez. Wow, that girl was smoking. Then there was Skylar, who is too young for me to talk about, but she put on a performance that made me think about Reba McEntire. And that is never a bad thing – I like Reba. Skylar could well be the new Reba. But the closer, the best singer in the group was HOLLIE CAVANAUGH. That girl was the BOMB. I replayed her song 4 times! Man, I am going to watch it again. If you haven’t watched her, check out her performance. Unbelievable! “AI” pulled me in again. I have an idea. They should make the minimum age 18 and allow the performers to use poles and oil into their performances. It only makes sense.

The Super Bowl is over. That’s it … the last game. As they say in Hollywood, “That’s a wrap.” Now there is a BLACK HOLE in sports for the next six months. There is a little sports nirvana the first weekend of March Madness. That first weekend of the NCAA tournament is a great sports weekend. But it’s too early to discuss March Madness.

Super Bowl. That was a great game. There was some dead time without much scoring, but watching the Patriots and Brady and Belichickenhead sweat was priceless. Loved it. It’s one of the three Super Bowl outcomes I love. Number one of course is the Steelers winning the Super Bowl. Number two is the Steelers losing the Super Bowl … I mean, if your team can’t win it, you still want them in it. Number three is the Patriots losing the Super Bowl, if for no other reason than the supreme idiocy of the people that evaluate and love the Patriots. For instance, take this assessment I heard I don’t know how many times leading up to the Super Bowl:

“The Giants are better on defense and about as good on offense, but the Patriots have Bill Belichick and QB Tom Brady, so they can beat the Giants.” What were people thinking? Frankly, if you think about it, the reason the Pats are losing is BECAUSE of Belichick. He is a stubborn egomaniac, who has put together an all-Smurf team, and it was evident during the Super Bowl.

As I have told you all along, they have limited wide receivers. All that talk about two Tight Ends … they are still TEs and if you play defense to take away the middle of the field and the TEs, you are left with Danny Woodhead, Wes Welker and Deion Branch to stretch the field and make plays.

So the Pats had two weeks to prepare for the Giants. I guess the Giants didn’t have two weeks to prepare for the Pats horrible defense and terrible receiving corps? And didn’t Belichick have two weeks to prepare for the Giants last time? The Pats need talent. I said before the season the Pats were done. I am surprised they got as far as they did. But they have nothing left. Belichick has four more draft picks next year in the first and second rounds, and they will get nothing for those picks same as they always do. THAT is why they can’t beat great teams.

They had a weak schedule and lost to just about every team with a winning record they faced. Oh, they beat Joe Flacco. Wow. That is quite an accomplishment. But the Pats have no skill players. No defensive ends, no CBs. Belichickenhead’s stubbornness is killing them. Every coach gets outgrown by the game. Even the great ones. They can’t seem to evolve. Look at Chuck Noll, Tom Landry, Don Shula … all great coaches, but at some point the game passes them by, unless they evolve and turn their offense and defense over to new age coordinators and ideas.

But the Patriot Way thing is taking down Belichcik like the Flex Defense and the Marino offense eventually killed Landry and Shula. Evolve or perish. That is where the Patriots are now.

Eli. The Book of Eli has been rewritten. I still don’t trust Eli from day to day. But when you look at him in the clutch, you have to give it to him. He has great playoff games. Now, he will pass 20 interceptions in I the regular season, but in the playoffs, he turns it up. Statistically, he’s better than Peyton, who it turns out is the classic regular season hero. But when teams turn up the heat in the playoffs, Peyton fades. I never gave Eli credit for handling pressure, but he wins the big games.

In other news, Jets WR Santonio Holmes and QB Mark Sanchez are going to “work on their relationship.” What are they are going to do, spend a weekend fishing together? Give me a break. What are these two, married? That team is a hideous mess and they are even talking about bringing in Peyton Manning to play with Holmes! Hah!

Holmes hates his QB and was benched during a game the Jets had to win to make the playoffs, and he’s a general miscreant to boot. But the Jets just kept him on the roster and just paid him another $15 million in guaranteed roster bonuses. Ridiculous!

Former Arizona Cardinals QB Kurt Warner says emphatically that Eli Manning is not a Hall of Famer, because Eli isn’t consistently good. Now, I agree with the inconsistency observation, but if you can win two or three super bowls AND perform excellently in every playoff run, not even counting all the other wins he is putting up, maybe he should be in. The hilarious thing is Warner had 4 great years and some other years he was benched more than once and didn’t play more than 6 games. Warner shouldn’t even be thought of for the Hall of Fame but they are talking about him because of his STORY and 4 great years. Screw that. Warner should just sit down, eat his rubber chicken dinner and shut up.

That said, Eli does lack a certain flash, the dude’s got no personality. He’s like a tube sock with the two big blue stripes. It’s there, you need it, it gets the job done, but it’s awkward … and a little embarrassing.

The Steelers hired Todd Haley as their Offensive Coordinator. Haley? I don’t know about this one. I really don’t know enough about Haley as an offensive coordinator to comment on that. When he was with the Cards, they had Warner and were wide open offensively, but Whisehnunt was calling the plays. When he was with the Chiefs, they had Matt Cassel and he is a DUD. So, the jury’s out on this one. He is a Parcells guy and that doesn’t make me happy, but Sean Payton was a Parcells guy and look at his offense.

I know this: he’s not much when it comes to his personality … a brooding, self-involved asshole as a person. We’ll see about his coordinator skills. One thing I do like is that he will put Big Bum Ben “Rotten” Roethlisberger back in his place. Ben had too much leeway hopefully those days are over. Maybe that is why the Steelers went outside the organization to shake things up.

Ricky Williams retired … again. He must have completed construction on the RickeyWeed Dome, a covered marijuana forest on his estate. And have you ever seen a player that a team traded away 8 players for amount to so little? Ricky was a bust. He ran for 10,000 yards, the most insignificant 10.000 yards in NFL history.

Former Patriots and Jets RB Curtis Martin made the Hall of Fame. Why? Martin was a good dependable back. Hall of Fame? I don’t see it. When the NFL starts using stats only, as Major League Baseball does, the Hall of Fame will be filled with a bunch of players that put up huge numbers because they were around forever, but weren’t dominant players. Former Indianapolis Colts QB Kerry Collins and former NY Jets OB Vinny Testaverde threw for a boatload of yards because they were around for a long time, but are they Hall of Fame material? No.

Oh, and Brady’s wife Gisele Bundchen was upset that the receivers dropped so many balls. She couldn’t believe that could happen … and with her extensive football knowledge.

Maybe Brady’s wife knows what I know: it’s Belichick’s fault, him and his whole 4-foot tall Ooompa Loompa WR corps, and in the Super Bowl … how embarrassing. And I see Edelman didn’t even step on the field at Cornerback.

“American Idol” is back. And instead of being good singers, everyone is determined to make it by telling sob stories and crying every 2 minutes. And it’s getting old fast. If I hear, “This is my last chance,” “I don’t have any health insurance” or “I need this for my family” one more time, I’m gonna vomit. It isn’t your last chance … try getting a job.

Winning “American Idol” is not anyone’s birthright. If that is your career plan, you need to have your parents kick your dumb ass out of the house. Don’t whine to me about health insurance or providing food for your baby when you don’t want to work a real job because “music is your dream and the only thing you want to do.”

It would be great if we could all be be filthy rich and famous, and not punch a clock every day at McDonald’s, the bank or on a construction site. But the fact is that ain’t reality … and frankly, the majority of people crying all those sob stories don’t have enough talent to host a karaoke night. But if they did, at least they would have a job until they realized their dream of having singing career was just that: a dream … a pipe dream. Get a job.

There are 4 teams left, playing for the AFC and NFC titles, and a shot at Super Bowl immortality … and I hate all of them for different reasons. Who do I hate the least, you ask?

1. Baltimore Ravens. Being a Steelers fan, EVERYONE should know by now why I hate these guys. And all I hear is how great Ray Lewis is (that should be WAS) and how Joe Flacco has won more games in his first 4 years than any QB in NFL history. Let’s be clear: Flacco has won those games with the benefit of a very good defense, not because he’s Flacco. Let’s get serious. Flacco is saying that IF they won the game against the Texans no one would give him credit for it anyway. Bitching about disrespect as a QB? Really? Then he goes out and plays a terrible game. He has never impressed anyone as a great QB and he is constantly begging for praise. And he backs it up by playing like a bum. I for one don’t want to see the Ravens and Flacco win.

2. San Francisco 49ers. Can’t stand the Niners. And Alex Smith? I have to give him credit for holding out as long as he has without self-destructing. Coach Jim Harbaugh is just plain arrogant. I can’t wait to see them meet some adversity and watch Harbaugh implode. It is coming. Just wait. Don’t want to see them win either.

3. New England Patriots. Boy, do I hate the Pats, the whole “genius” thing and all the Ron Gronkowski worship. The Pats have a terrible defense all the sports pundits keep trying to prop up. I hate ‘em, but I do hope they beat the Ravens.

4. New York Giants. And I hate the Giants. Don’t like QB Eli Manning or Coach Tom Coughlin. But I have to give them credit for their running game. They are hot at the right time. And As much as I hate Eli, I admit he’s showing skill in the playoffs. That is when you have to step up. And I know a bunch of you will laugh at this, but I would rather have Eli than Peyton. Peyton is not good in the clutch, and at least Eli is on his game. Peyton’s playoff performance record really sucks. Even when the Colts won the Super Bowl, Peyton shouldn’t have been MVP. All things considered I hope the Giants win the Super Bowl this year.

That ain’t saying much with this group of teams, but it’s what we’re left with, so might as well make the best of it.

Tebow. Enough. Thank goodness. The Pats rolled him like a cigar. And watching the game is what you have seen the whole season: he was terrible. Difference was the Pats didn’t give him a chance for a comeback. They completely dominated him and showed unless you are fumbling all over yourself, Tebow can’t beat you. There is no way the Broncos go into next year with that same offense and him running the show. Of course, now they’re saying Tebow had a rib injury and bruised lung and … blah, blah, blah. Uh-huh. Yeah, right …

And that’s exactly what I was saying just a few weeks ago. He cannot continue to play QB like that in the NFL and survive. I heard how big and tough he is and how he has GOD himself on his side. Whatever. Big Ben Roethlisberger is bigger than Tebow and even Ben’s done now. He is so beat up and he can’t even run. Tebow is in harm’s way every play and he WILL NOT LAST as QB. The Broncos should trade him tomorrow to Miami or Jacksonville or whoever will take him. If he won’t switch to FB/TE he has to go. Enough already.

The St. Louis Rams hired Jeff Fisher. You know what that means? It means the fans should be livid. Because the Rams are admitting they have been so bad for so long that mediocrity is now their goal. And mediocrity is just what they get with Fisher. The Rams are assuring themselves of a bunch of 8-8 seasons, and very predictable and boring performances. Fisher has already coached somewhere else for 17 years and has just 6 winning seasons. Fisher is considering his offensive coordinator position right now, and his leading candidate is Kurt Schottenheimer from the New York Jets. Wow, that instills such thoughts of a high-powered, exciting offense! NOT! I will say one thing, Sean Payton was once the offensive coordinator for Bill Parcells and their offense sucked, so maybe, just maybe Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez are making Schottenheimer look bad. But really, is anyone excited about a Fisher-Schottenheimer pairing, anyone other than Ryan? What a joke. Why can’t teams go out and find a good, new coach, even someone up-and-coming? If I had season tickets, I’d get a refund.

The New Orleans Saints should forfeit any future road playoff games. They are a disaster on the road. They were coughing up the ball to the 49ers like it was hair stuck in a cat. It was terrible to watch. And they let Alex Smith eat them up. A hint to the Saints defense: the Niners have one WR and it is their TE, Vernon Davis. You might want to cover him with someone whose number is less than 50. A LB should not be covering him every play. Idiots.

Ah, the Green Bay Packers. Frankly, I enjoyed watching them lose. They were too arrogant for their own good. Aaron Rodgers and that smug look on his face … it was really getting to me. Smile now, you cocky jackass. And all season hearing the experts say how they were UNBEATABLE. That was disturbing, especially while they were giving up 30 points a game. I told you they couldn’t keep doing that and expect to hang in. Now all the experts are talking about how vulnerable the defense was. Really? Ya think? Why weren’t those “experts” saying that when they were calling them ONE OF THE BEST TEAMS IN HISTORY? The Packers WERE the IDEAL FRANCHISE a few weeks ago and NOW they have glaring deficiencies? I love it. The experts are puppets. They’ll say anything with right hand up their butts.

Back to Tebow. CBS wants to hire him to be an analyst for the playoffs. Really? Hold on I need pour some Wild Turkey for this one. What right does Tebow have being an NFL analyst? Picture Tebow analyzing Alex Smith’s collapse and saying, “See, right here Alex needs to go through his progressions. He needs to see this safety and the two deep coverage and quick pump the safety and move him with his eyes and hit his third read for the TD. He read that all wrong.” Or Tebow saying, “See, right here, Smith needs to let this pass go as soon as the WR makes his break. He needs to anticipate and have a quick release.” His great analysis of the Patriots would be, “I know the Patriots can’t run the ball or stop the run, but as long as they believe in Jesus, abstinence and, most importantly, ME, they can win. But Belichick is evil and Tom Brady has kids out of wedlock, so they are unholy and destined to lose.” Tebow? An analyst? I’m just amazed.

Back to the Patriots. Why is Aaron Hernandez, a TE, running the ball out of the backfield and leading the team in rushing? Belichick’s trying to prove he is smarter than everyone else it is just sickening. So when someone blows him to smithereens, what will he say?

As for the Steelers, Roethlisberger doesn’t want the offense or offensive coordinator changed. And both are areas something the Steelers should consider changing. Cuz the “star” QB falls apart and scores about 9 points a game the last 5 games of the season and is a disaster as a pocket QB, and the offensive coordinator is clueless. It’s simple, really. Fire the offensive coordinator, and the QB … both of them.

Dallas Cowboys WR Dez Bryant in trouble again, and mark my words WILL go down as one of those “HE COULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT” NFL stories. Bryant is a mental midget. He’s supremely talented, but will never grow up. He has millions (in part because he never paid back the illegal jewelry loans he got before ever entering the NFL) and feels it’s necessary to fight with police and so on. He will never amount to anything.

NY Jets RB LaDainian Tomlinson said the Jets’ situation was the worse he has ever been around. WR Santonio Holmes and QB Mark Sanchez don’t like each other apparently. Some Gomer Pyle here: “SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!” And Holmes is the captain? HAH!

Outside the NFL …

Tebow is being dogged for not announcing which Republican he endorses. Hold on, need to switch from Wild Turkey to Ever Clear grain alcohol for this one. Who cares who Tebow endorses? Well, I suppose teh Republicans do, courting the right-wing religious fanatical idiots and they can ride him for a huge number of MORON votes. Which Republican candidate does Tebow endorse? Himself.

Another shark attack in Australia. Again, I don’t feel sorry for the guy. If you swim in Australia, you know what can happen. But the funniest thing to me was that there were dozens of witnesses to the attack and 500 other people still in the water, too. Hilarious. There are that many people waiting to serve themselves up for a shark buffet, but the Aussie press says that fatal attacks there are “rare.” Yep. Only 27 people have died in the last 22 years. That’s all? How that “rare?”

The porn industry is threatening to leave Los Angeles. Why? The city is trying to pass an ordinance that requires EVERY ACTOR to wear a condom. Sorry, but I can’t stop laughing. I have watched people walk down the streets of LA drinking and smoking weed. There are prostitutes everywhere. There are gangs, drugs and anything else you could imagine. But they are going to mandate condoms on porn stars. Hilarious. I hope the porn industry does leave. I am putting together a proposal for the Economic Development Alliance in Port Orchard, Wash., to bring more industry to our area. Seems like a gold mine to me. Maybe it will bring some beauty to this gray, dull, moss-covered graveyard. Then again, given a lack of sunshine, a bunch of pasty white, moldy porn stars will probably drive the industry elsewhere. The world will accept only so much GOTH porn.

Snowmageddon. All I heard for several days was the WINTER STORM coming to our area, the worst storm in years. Snow will fall, winds will blow and the roads will be a disaster. Brace yourself. So I get up this morning and head to work. It’s cold, and the snow is about 5-6 inches deep. No big deal. Then I hit the road and there isn’t a snowplow in sight. The main and side roads are covered. Why? So they can talk on the news for a week? They had half the news media warning, “Dress your kids in layers, warm clothes. Only let one kid on a sled at a time.” But the day we all need to get to work there’s not a snowplow anywhere. Now, I have a big old Titan truck, so I really don’t care, but not everyone who works for me does. News flash: put some plows on the road, you morons!

Oh, by the way. I am headed to work in the snow and ice and people are driving 4 miles an hour, and I noticed that what was the busiest businesses on were all Naked Coffee shops. Folks were struggling to get to work, but they were stopping at the topless drive-thru coffee shops. Hilarious. I had to laugh. Makes me wish I drank coffee.

And finally … “American Idol” started this week. I always love the first few weeks. But Steven Tyler’s first major screw up was only a half-hour into the first show. He is meeting the father of one of the contestants. She’s a 6-foot blonde, slim. She is the daughter of former baseball pitcher Joe Magrane. Tyler tells the father the city he is from — St. Louis — is “HOT, HUMID AND HAPPENING … JUST LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER.” His daughter, Shannon, is 15! I couldn’t stop laughing. You should have seen the Daddy Magrane’s face. I bet you the father has been guaranteed his own room on the “American Idol” set and constant video surveillance to make sure that old pervert Tyler and his claymation face are nowhere his daughter. I would have just punched Tyler in the face and responded, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

There are two types of NFL playoff teams.

1. NFL Playoff teams that are serious contenders for the title and can get to the Super Bowl and …

2. N-Not/F-For/L-Long playoff teams that got in, but are not serious contenders.

Real NFL playoff teams: Steelers, Packers, Saints

Not For Long Teams and why:

Lions: I like the Lions offensively but don’t like their character. Their coach and QB are emotional and can fall apart when times are tough and in the playoffs, times are tough.

Falcons: This team lacks toughness. I am going to give you a fantasy football tidbit right now that you won’’t remember next year when you draft: RB Michael Turner has 43 yard rushing games against great defenses. Great overall stats, but he sucks in big games. As does QB Matt Ryan, who can’t win away from home or in the playoffs.

Giants: This team is too up and down. They can look great one game and look like the Buccaneers the next. People say they are peaking now, but they aren’t playing that great, so if they are peaking, that’s not saying much.

Broncos: I have said for years when either your Kick Returner or your Tight End is your best player, you are screwed. The Broncos have decided to make it a trifecta, but if GOD is your best player, you’re even worse off.

Bengals: Nice season against the mediocre teams. Not good against the league’s best teams. Guess what? Playoffs feature the good teams.

Texans: Starting their third-string, rookie QB Should I continue?

Niners: Nice story, but in the playoffs, QB Alex Smith can’t match up against two teams in the Saints and Packers that can score with a nun.

There is a team every year that sneaks in with a gaudy record and loses and everyone says “now I see their weaknesses.” The Niners are that team.

Ravens: The Ravens’ Super Bowl is when they play the Steelers. Newsflash: You have to beat more than one team to win a Super Bowl. And they won’t beat the Steelers in the playoffs anyway. Plus, QB Joe Flacco is a bum.

Patriots: READ MY KEYBOARD. THEY CAN’T PLAY DEFENSE. Coach Bill Belichick will finally take some heat after this postseason for not fixing this perennial problem.

This week’s picks

Steelers 16, Broncos 9. The Steelers will win, but I don’t get the experts or Vegas oddsmakers picking the Steelers to win by more than 7.5. The Steelers play every game to win by 1 point. They don’t blow away teams they should annihilate. And Big Ben is reading his press this week, talking about his injury being “aggravated” and loving all the attention. Media whore.

But the Broncos “QB” Tim Tebow will give the Steelers a TD on some stupid play. The Steelers will win, but it won’t be a blowout.

Now onto Tebow … the mania has diominished considerably. Even he has doubt in his own ability. Last week, he was begging for penalties and yelling at the officials. He was looking around like he was waiting for the other team to make a mistake and looked utterly lost when it didn’t happen. And when the Denver defense realizes it is a lost cause, they’ll start getting blown out next year.

Tebow’s only saving grace this week is Steeler Safety Ryan Clark has a problem with playing at altitude and won’t be there to smash his ass this week. But fellow Safety Troy Polamalu and Linebacker James Harrison will be there … and he will get hit. Repeatedly.

Bengals 23, Texans 20. The Texans have their 3rd string QB going and the Bengals have a good, opportunistic defense.

Saints 40, Lions 27. The Lions are abysmal on defense and are mentally unfit to hang with a true Super Bowl contender.

Giants 30, Falcons 23. This is a toss-up. But two things tip the scales. The Giants can rush the passer and Matty “Ice” Ryan will fall apart under pressure. But whoever wins will lose the next week.

Next week’s picks 

Patriots 24, Bengals 16. Bengals not well-coached enough or good enough on offense to beat the Pats in New England.

Steelers 20, Ravens 13. The Steelers put Flacco in his usual position in the playoffs. Clueless, on his back, arms spread praying for a pass interference call after another incomplete long pass.

Packers 30, Giants 26. Pack win but it’s a foreshadowing of things to come. Awful defense.

Saints 27, Niners 16. The Saints score too much for QB Alex Smith to keep up. When he tries too hard, the Saints get a defensive TD.

Championship weekend

Steelers 23, Patriots 17. The Steelers go to New England and pound them with the running game.

HERE COMES THE TWIST. As you know, every year I pick the Super Bowl teams before the season and stick to it til the end. But this time I have to change it up. I picked Steelers vs. Packers in a rematch in August, but I think the Packers lose this week. Their arrogance and their terrible defense will do them in. Saints win 40-30. This will be a high-scoring game and the Packers’ inability to play defense will have everyone wondering how they finished at 15-1.

Super Bowl

You know it’s coming. And you know it’s true. Steelers 30, Saints 24.

Odds and ends 

Packers backup QB Matt Flynn had a tremendous game  against the Lions  to finish the regular season. Based on that one game, he is going to get paid handsomely. Because teams love to throw money at other teams’ backups based upon scant game film. Does anyone remember Scott Mitchell? Rob Johnson? The major mistake the Pack made was in showcasing him without reworking his contract. He’ll be a free agent after the season and can walk for nothing. Major error.

Mark Sanchez has played his last game as starting QB for the Jets. When you watched that bum last week, you could see on the coach’s face and the rest of the Jets’ players faces they know he is done. Sanchez last week threw 4 passes that were completed within 5 yards of the line of scrimmage. Big problem is one of them was completed to an offensive lineman and the other 3 were completed to the Dolphins’ defensive linemen and linebackers.

More Jets. The captain of the team, WR Santonio Holmes got benched during a game then had to win to make the playoffs.

The Jets self-destructed all season and during the last game. Then their rookie QB who didn’t play a game all year and was on the IR list all year came out and blasted the team to the press. He said the Jet locker room was a zoo and added, “It’s the first time I’ve ever been around extremely selfish individuals, and I think that’s maybe the nature of the NFL. But there were people within our locker room that didn’t care whether we won or lost, as long as they got (theirs).”

There was a great NFL expert that told you the Jets would crash and burn in an UGLY way and he should be rewarded for his NFL genius. That great NFL expert is me. I am tired of being right about this stuff and not getting compensated. Which is why I am going to start an NFL consulting firm. I’ll call it I F’ING TOLD YOU SO, LLC. Why my company will be a success – no shortage of clients!

1. Chargers. They are so stupid I would have to resist their offers to be a full-time employee after showing them how their GM has depleted their roster and what they’ve gotten in return for Michael Turner, Darren Sproles, et. al.

And to hear them say they’re keeping Norv ‘cause the players love him is laughable. I am tired of hearing that crap about being a player’s coach. The player’s coach hasn’t won anything, and the players love himfor a reason, They can walk all over his spineless ass.

2. Any team looking to hire Jeff Fisher. My unparalleled ability to manipulate the new-fangled internet technology and find his actual coaching record and develop a highly stylized Excel spreadsheet will show how he ISN’T THAT GOOD A COACH.

3. Dolphins. How they can keep their GM through even this year’s disaster is worth about a year’s worth of consulting fees.

4. ‘Skins. Can you imagine the billable hours from this fiasco of a team? Step one: Enact a coaching ShanaBan.

5. Cowboys. It would take me years of to convince that dumbass owner he can’t be the GM, too. Why can’t Jerry Jones realize that since he has been the de facto GM without the aid of a great talent evaluator like Jimmy Johnson that he will never succeed.

6. Steelers. I would bring them into the new football era by convincing them it is not illegal to throw the ball on first down or beat a team by more than 3 points.

7. Any team with the intention of hiring a Ryan. Step one. Show clips of Ryans on the sidelines with those images photoshopped into situations where you would want your coach to represent your team – particularly at corporate- sponsored events. Done.

8. Patriots. I would define the word genius for them, then display their playoff and defensive statistics the last 6 years, once again in that newfangled Excel technology, and dare them not to pay me.

More … 

Peyton Manning got paid $26 million this year when everyone knew he wouldn’t play and now people are saying the Colts owe it to him not to draft Stanford QB Andrew Luck … get out of here. Keep in mind they won ONE super bowl with him. Not 2 or 3 or 4. ONE. Trade his ass while you can. For people to talk about what the Colts owe him is silly. Manning is milking their money right now.

I have watched Andrew Luck play and I … just don’t get it. Everyone talks like he is the second coming of John Elway. He looked good, but not as good as the hype. I saw a bunch of 4 and 8 yard passes. Very accurate … how inaccurate can you be on 5 and 8 yard passes unless you are named Tebow or Sanchez?  I heard all the complaints: he has no deep threat – that is why he doesn’t throw the ball deep. C’mon. You may not have a deep threat, but they’re not covering your WRs with Champ Bailey, either.

Then I read the comparisons of Luck to Heisman winner Robert Griffin III.  Luck has played in an NFL-style offense; Griffin played in a spread offense. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it does make it harder to evaluate a guy. You just don’t know if he’ll be the same in a pro-style set. So Luck plays in a pro offense, but they never throw the ball deep at all? While Griffin throws the ball downfield all the time and is the most effiicient QB in the NCAA and completes an insane percentage of passes over 30 yards … but Luck is more prepared?

Finally, the College Bowl season is a microcosm of our society – an acceptance of mediocrity and lack of competition. People say “what is wrong with 35 teams winning bowl games and getting to end the season as winners?” In my mind, that’s the equivalent of giving every kid a participation ribbon.

Steelers 24, Browns 9. This game won’t be worth watching, unless you are a member of Steeler Nation and want to see the Browns get stomped. The Browns have been known to play tough and step up with some shock and awe every now and then, but the Browns don’t have anything this year.

Patriots 30, Redskins 19. The Patriots are in their usual “12 win, then lose in the playoffs” mode. The Skinahans are just terrible. I think Coach Mike Shanahan is going to pull a Bobby Knight, and bail and leave the team to his idiot son. All these years Redskins owner Daniel Snyder has been meddling and in control, and he picks now to back off and let someone completely annihilate his franchise?

Saints 30 Titans 16. When you think of the team name “Titans” does anything exciting or interesting come to mind? Me, I got nothing. They have Chris Johnson, but they are absolute wallpaper. Look for something else to watch.

Dolphins 20, Eagles 17. Who would have thought Miami would be better than Philly? Who would have thought Matt Moore would be as good a QB as Michael Vick and Vince Young? Wow. And to think Young had the nerve to go on TV and say the Eagles were a dream team before the season. I watched Young last week and he was ATROCIOUS. He looked like he had no right being on an NFL team. And you can see his mental makeup is still crap. He threw a pick directly to the Seattle Seahawks’ linebacker, who ran it back for a TD. Young was on the sidelines with his hands on his head, his eyes welded shut! I thought he was actually going to blow a gasket like Leonard in “Full Metal Jacket.” He is a joke.

Panthers 27 Falcons 20. Before the season everyone talked about how EXPLOSIVE the Falcons were. I said they were grossly overrated and that their 13-3 record last year was indicative of a weak schedule, and was later proven correct by the beating they took at the hands of the Green Bay Packers in the playoffs. I also said Matt Ryan was bestowed the name Matty Ice without earning it. And this year the experts have tripped all over themselves, contradicting every ridiculous statement they’ve ever made about the Falcons. They praised the Falcons for trading away half their draft for Julio Jones. So which is it: are they explosive or do they need help? Then they said Ryan had all those weapons and would lead them to the Super Bowl. THEN when the team was struggling, they said the Falcons needed to get back to what they do best: run Michael Turner and play defense. Again, which is it? If Matty Ice is so heavily armed, why go back to pounding the ball? And for the record, they have NEVER PLAYED GOOD DEFENSE!

Buccaneers 3, Jaguars 2. This game features a plethora of B-List NFL players. Offense isn’t a factor from either team, and their coaches would rather kick FGs than line up and throw or run the ball. I don’t know why these teams have General Managers. They should just have open tryouts at the local sports bars to fill their rosters. You’d be better off stringing Christmas lights.

Bengals 23, Texans 17. I’m only scoring this one for Cincinnati because Houston’s starting a 3rd string QB. I told you the Bengals, who were being praised as the NUMBER ONE SEED in the AFC playoff standings a few weeks ago, would crumble like blue cheese when they had to play real teams? Now, they’re at 1-4 since that assessment. BRUTAL. And they still have to play Baltimore once more after getting ROACH-STOMPED last week by the Steelers. The Bengals are what I thought they were: overrated.

Lions 23, Vikings 16. Interesting game, but this could be the end of the line for Detroit. The Lions could have been a great story, but Coach Jim Schwartz has failed that team. He is a disaster and should be fired. They started the season talking trash and taking a ton of penalties, and trying to display some new “toughness” that was all snarl and no bite. Now that teams are kicking their butt, they are falling apart, pouting and fighting like little kids. NStompakin Suh is turning out to be a big punk, a classless, lying brat. After all his issues on the field, while on suspension what did that jackass do? He got in a car crash while driving like an idiot, then lied to the police about people not being hurt in his car, while there were INJURED passengers. He is a punk. And to top it all off, Schwartz gets into it with San Francisco Coach Jim Harbaugh on Thanksgiving Day, so now the team is out of control and the head coach does nothing to fix it. The Lions are a mess, and it’s getting worse by the week.

Jets 16, Chiefs 13. The Chiefs have great cornerbacks. The Jets have a bad QB. Don’t like either of the coaches, both are arrogant blowhards. Enough said; you’re on your own with this one.

Colts 20, Ravens 19. Could Baltimore possibly lose to Indy? Dan Orlovsky at QB? He might not be intimidated by the Ravens’ D, but don’t overestimate him … he is still stupid. This game could go either way. I’m taking the Colts just for grins.

Broncos 21, Bears 17. Why? Caleb Hanie is the Chicago QB. That’s why! I have said enough about Denver QB Tim Tebow and my opinion will not change. He is going to be fool’s gold for some team. Last week the Broncos had 48 yards of offense at halftime … 48 yards. If you think for one minute that the Steelers, Patriots, Saints or the Packers will let the Broncos hang around with 48 yards of offense in a half you are out of your mind. The number of people jumping on the Tebow bandwagon is utterly amazing. Why does Tim Tebow study pictures and plays on the sidelines, anyway? All his playbook says is, “Run, stupid.” Still, much as it pains me, have to give Denver an edge on this game.

Cardinals 23, 49ers 13. Arizona has had some decent defensive games. Put some heat on San Francisco QB Alex Smith. Cardinals QB Kevin Kolb still blows chunks, though.

Chargers 23- Bills 13. And don’t tell me the Buffalo Bills didn’t see this coming. No, they just found out in Buffalo that RB C.J. Spiller was on their roster. Amazing!

Packers 30, Raiders 13. Oh, wait, that number is their penalties. They’ll only score 10 points. Oakland is another franchise that’s devolved into an unmitigated disaster. I thought with their last draft and hiring a decent coach, they were headed in the right direction. But Coach Hue Jackson gets his first head coach job and at the same time is also saddled with general manager duties too? And that trade for Carson Palmer everyone loved was, is and always will be one of the worst trades in football history. Palmer is done. Did you see the game against Miami last week? Done. And the Raiders have no draft picks. But they can use free agency. Of course, if the same dumbass is running Free Agency that traded for Palmer, you can imagine how that is going to play out. Prediction: Tebow will be their starting QB next year and Desean Jackson will negotiate $200 million. Up against Green Bay wunderkind QB Aaron Rodgers, they’ll be lucky to post that 10. But count on ‘em for the penalties.

Cowboys 30, Giants 25. The Cowboys. Wow. They are just ridiculous. But you know what it is: Jason Garrett is just not ready to be head coach. He is learning on the fly. Did you see the mess he created last week? Example: the Cowboys have the ball and are driving with about 30 seconds left in the game, which is tied at 13. So the Cowboys get to Arizona’s 31 and there are 26 seconds left. The Cowboys have 2 timeouts, and what do they do? Let the clock run down and spike the ball with 8 seconds left! Why are so many coaches — and I feel like I’m yelling this all the time — settling for 48- or 49-yard field goals like they’re chip shots. Why didn’t Dallas call a timeout and run another play to get 5 or even 10 yards closer, if they’re so bent on kicking a FG. Or better yet, why not just go all out and take a shot at the end zone? But wait, it gets better. After spiking said ball, they wait until right before their OWN kicker boots the ball, actually MAKES a 49-yard FG attempt and THEN call timeout, totally invalidating the FG. Who ices their own kicker? Apparently the Cowboys do! And further, why did Dallas need the TO when they just spiked the ball? It’s simply stunningly stupid. Garrett appears to be in over his head. I’m posting that score tentatively; we’ll have to see if Dallas can actually score that many points against New York.

Seattle and St. Louis. No score. I almost called the NFL when I saw this dreadful, awful, horrible, PATHETIC matchup for a Monday Night telecast. You know what, won’t even pick it. Not even gonna talk about it. So there.

It’s that time of year again. Thanksgiving. Now I love Thanksgiving, but not for the reasons other people talk about. I am thankful for the NFL. I LOVE IT.

Broncos QB Tim Tebow is thankful for all the dumbass coaches, owners and GMs in the league, who are allowing him to have a chance to start games.

The Cowboys’ Tony Romo is thankful for the Redskins bailing him out. He was about to have another monumental blunder in a game until the moronic Redskins coaches bailed him out.

I am thankful for the NFL network having a night game on Thanksgiving so I can watch something besides the Lions and Cowboys!

Michael Vick is thankful for the Eagles and their unwavering arrogance. If not, he would be working at PetSmart.

Jets coach Rex Ryan is thankful to Eagles coach Andy Reid for making him look slim and fit. Those two aren’t even plump turkeys, they’re just fat hogs, straight up.

And Reid must be thankful for White Castle. I think he must have a White Castle drive through in his kitchen. White Castle Burgers only come in one size, but if you eat 400 of them in one sitting …

The Baltimore Ravens and QB Joe Flacco are thankful for pass interference!

Patriots WR Deion Branch is thankful for QB Tom Brady. When he left Brady for a couple of years, he looked like a bum.

Donte Stallworth is thankful for Redskins coach Mike Shanahan. And he damn well better be. It isn’t every team that needs WRs so bad they have to wait for the federal prison system to release players they can sign!

Mark Sanchez is thankful for peoples’ ignorance, particularly sports commentators. Sanchez is a walking TV commercial … phony as the day is long and expecting you to buy what he’s selling. He sold himself to the media, the experts and the Jets as a franchise QB without every proving himself.

The Colts are thankful the season is only 16 games. They already have their offseason vacations planned and their bags packed.

The Picks:

Lions 30, Packers 28. Now, I have heard how unbeatable the Packers are and how they have no weaknesses. BUT have you seen how many teams are able to score on them at will? That means their defense is suspect … if they don’t score for a couple of possessions, THEY CAN LOSE. The Lions can score, and if they keep their heads straight when things go wrong, they could win this one.

Cowboys 28, Dolphins 20. The Dolphins are winning and losing all at the same time. Coach Tony Sparano is potentially going to be fired any time, and with three straight wins behind them, the front office is falling farther down in the draft. Of course, Jimmy Johnson’s advice to Miami was never mind the draft, just win games, so that score might be the other way around. What do I know?

Niners 20, Ravens 12. The Ravens won last week, which probably means they’ll lose this week. That team is schizophrenic. Their QB is a mess. Meanwhile, the Niners are rolling, but ALEX SMITH IS THEIR QB. All is well now, but mark my words, sooner or later this will end in disaster.

Titans 23, Bucs 17. A lame game viewed by all of 300 people, counting the team players, cheerleaders and coaches on the field. Skip this one for seconds, more pie or a nap.

Jags 20, Texans 13. Not sure if most of you know this, but Matt Leinart is starting QB for the Texans. That means Jags QB Blaine Gabbert may not be the worst QB on the field this week. The Texans can’t win even when things are going well. The Texans are the team in your fantasy league named BYE.

Rams 9, Cards 4. The Cards need a backup QB. After seeing Shelton and Anderson, etc play for them last year why did they enter the season with Shelton as their backup QB? Kolb, who sucks anyway, gets hurt and they bring in this Shelton guy. I watched his game and he looked like he should be selling me paint at the local Ace Hardware. He threw passes even he couldn’t believe. He was miserable.

Jets 20, Bills 17. These are two teams that are going nowhere. The Jets have the worst example of a head coach in the league, that embarrassing mess Rex Ryan. And just this week, ESPN writer John Clayton reported that the team ownership and GM are fully behind him and love him. That makes me realize the Jets are a terrible organization from the top down. No wonder that these Jets are going to crash and burn. The Jets lost to the Tebows, er, Broncos the other night. Need I say more?

Bengals 20 Browns 10. Don’t watch this, even if you live in Ohio. Ugly uniforms, ugly football.

Falcons 30, Vikings 20. The Falcons are overrated and may not even make the playoffs. All the experts said before the season, “The falcons have an explosive offense with all those weapons!” Then the Falcons start off slow and all the experts turn around and say, “The Falcons need to get back to what they do best: run the ball with Michael Turner!” Which is it? Dumbasses.

Panthers 30, Colts 20. The Colts are actually good at sucking. They aren’t messing around with any half-assed offense or throwing the ball 900 times a game. They are methodically staking claim to the number one pick.

Seahawks 20, Redskins 10. The Skinahans are a disaster. Even Coach Shanahan knows it. Watch him on the sidelines. He doesn’t even look like he is interested in what is going on during the game.

Raiders 24, Bears 16. Thankfully for the Bears they get to play the Raiders. Unfortunately for the Bears they will have Caleb Hanie at QB in the Black Hole. The. They will score cuz the Raiders will commit aobut 500 penalties. After I ranted last week about coaches letting their players commit the dumbest penalties while the coach stands on the sidelines pouting with his arms crossed while doing NOTHING ABOUT IT, the Raiders committed another 12 or 13 penalties. Not once did Hue Jackson pull a player off the field and light him up. But after the game Hue complained about the officials. Clearly I think the NFL referees get bias against teams, but the coach has done nothing to stop the penalties. The Raiders like penalties. Maybe they should ask the league if the officials can throw black flags for Raider penalties. Or have them throw Chinese throwing stars or something at the Raider committing the penalty. If you are going to get that many, at least make it cool or something.

Chargers 27, Broncos 10. The Chargers are another poorly coached team that could allow the Denver and its Option offense to hang around. My bet, however, is that the Chargers will turn up the heat on the Broncos by scoring early and then forcing that bum Tebow to throw the ball. All that “special” and “winner” Tebow talk will fade with a 5-game losing skid.

Patriots end Eagles season 30-16. Every time the Eagles play a good game the experts jump right back on the bandwagon. How is it a defense can be bad 13 games, but play 3 good games and experts can say, “That is how good that defense can be.” Sorry, but where I come from – the real world – 3 out of 16 says they are a truly bad defense. A QB can throw 30 bad passes and one great TD pass and the pundits say, “That is an NFL throw. See he can make all the throws.” Using that logic, I’ve got a shot at landing Halle Berry.

Steelers 20, Chiefs 13. Pittsburgh pulls its usual “playing down to the competition” and takes out Kansas City. The Steelers should be told it is not against NFL guidelines to beat the crap out of a team. I am tired of watching them play terrible games against bad teams.

Happy Thanksgiving!