RECAP OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS
By Lunch
Perusing the Mammoth Lakes Town Council agenda prior to Wednesday’s meeting, I was struck by item #3, which was listed as “Recap of Accomplishments – Wendy Sugimura.”
Channeling our outgoing Mayor as best I could, I tried to imagine how I would compile (if I were Wendy) my own list of Wendy’s Wonders.
Dear Staff, Fellow Members of Council … and, oh yeah, almost forgot, members of the public:
Change is hard. Change is really, really hard. But you can’t make change unless someone gives you a dollar, which is why it’s been so hard to change anything about the Community Development Department.
I want assure everyone that although Alexander Haig may not have been in charge last year, someone was, and that was was me. I was the woodchuck chucking wood, and believe me, we chucked a lot of wood, Rick Wood notwithstanding. Under my direction, Staff created a robust data set, and speaking as someone scientifically trained, let me tell you, if you don’t have a data set, you’re just an analog television living in a digital world.
The accumulation of this robust data set was particularly crucial in helping us establish a whole new way we look at our budget. Before, we just guessed at all the things we wouldn’t accomplish, and although Brad’s a really good guesser, we just couldn’t guess any longer. I mean, seriously, Guess has been out of fashion for decades.
Under our new paradime shift, and I purposely spell paradime like this to illustrate to you how fiscally responsible I am, we write it all down on a workplan and use a lot of acronyms (FTEE) and decimal points. It’s all very official.
Anyway, without further ado, let me bulletpoint some of Council’s accomplishments during the past year. Under my leadership:
*Scores of residents moved out of town, making Mammoth less congested and more “livable” for those of us who remain.
*Like Obama, I created economic stimulus by presiding over lengthy meetings which earned several staff members significant overtime pay.
*Committed to making Mammoth a “great place to live and work,” we created a staff furlough program which allowed employees extra free time to fully enjoy their high salaries.
*Completed many planning studies which will remain relevant for eons, or at least through next year.
*Adopted a catchy slogan: Move Mammoth Forward.
*Created a committee to define the parameters of what the catchy slogan actually means.
*After eight meetings, the committee came back with the determination that Mammoth is indeed moving forward … because the steering wheel is busted and we can’t move in any other direction. Thanked and then disbanded the committee.
*Created a new budget process to ensure staff remains busy until the economy picks up.
*Became more sensitive to the needs and realities of our constituents. This actually occurred in a roundabout way. I read Mike McKenna’s piece in The Sheet about how his wife seemingly lost a few brain cells after she had her first child. Vehemently disagreeing with this assessment, I ordered the Chief of Police to place McKenna under surveillance. I soon learned that there are actually people in town who work three jobs. This was a key realization, as it helped me “connect” with the people.
*Upheld the firing of Steve Searles, but then craftily took credit for his rehire.
*Screwed up the budget only half as bad as we did the year before.
*Leveraged money we don’t have to build wish-list projects we could live without.
*Developed PAOT (Persons at One Time) calculation to aid Public Works with the age-old light bulb dilemma.
*Heeded Fire Chief Harper’s advice by creating “defensiveness space” all around me.
*Happened to be in office when Measure R passed and am certain my leadership had something to do with its passage.
*Promoted the democratic process in local government to such a degree that the reverberations led to the democratic uprising in Iran.
Town Council News
At the actual meeting Wednesday, about the most exciting thing that happened was when Chuck Lande’s PowerPoint presentation didn’t work.
Council action on the Snowcreek VIII Master Plan and certification of the EIR was deferred until this coming Wednesday at 8 a.m. in Suite Z.
Meanwhile, the North Village District Study was kicked back to Planning Commission. That discussion will take place Wednesday afternoon.
So I know you must be thinking to yourself, “C’mon Lunch. It was a four-and-a-half hour meeting. What are you leaving out?”
*I swear to you. Nothing. Every time I think I’ve been to the worst Council meeting of all time, I go to another one and change my mind. At times, I wonder whether I’m living inside my own Truman Show.
In her actual recap of accomplishments, outgoing Mayor Sugimura did talk about how the Town has leveraged $7.5 million in matching funds to build approximately $36 million worth of capital improvement projects. She said it’s like getting a $100 dinner for $20.
I was so inspired I went up to Petra’s and blew $100 on a nice dinner with my wife. When the check came, I asked Mitch if he’d take an IOU from my restaurant reserve account.
He wasn’t amused.
In regards to Snowcreek VIII, the hangup is apparently further interminable discussion about egress from the Sherwins. Which I just don’t get. John Wentworth has assured me the new boss is same as the old boss. The planned egress route for those skiing the Sherwins is across the golf course to the public easement at Ranch Road. No one’s going through anybody’s neighborhood, backyard or hot tub.
So why did they schedule a four-hour meeting for Wednesday morning? I guess Attorney Tim Sanford’s got some billing to do.
As for the North Village District Study, Council’s got a new concept that’s sure to derail them for the next year: “critical mass.” In other words, how many additional rooms and retail space should be built to make the Village work?
Councilman Skip Harvey then tried to plan the entire Mammoth Crossing project from the dais in about eight minutes. Along the way, he took a swipe at Community Development Director Mark Wardlaw, saying we’ve got to do better than textbook, generic planning.
John Walter took in the whole discussion with some bemusement. “It doesn’t take too much to stop growth in this town. Just ask them a few questions and they’ll wander off on a tangent.”
