ThorTheFalconTweet
September 27th 6:47 pm:
Location: Looney Bean
How hard can it be to DJ? Chris Camilli from Auld Dubliner asked me to DJ today on Tuesdays starting October 6th so I figured if there’s a free bar tab involved, of course I can do it. Wait, I’m not a DJ. Wait, I don’t have any equipment. S%$#!
ThorTheFalconTweet
September 30th 11:54 am
Location: Pasture off of 395 South
I ordered a mixer today. Now I just need to come up with a sweet DJ name. It has to be a name so hard it will strike fear into other DJs (so they don’t make fun of me and so I will sound really awesome).
ThorTheFalconTweet
September 30th 1:34pm
Location: Check out line in Vons
If I subscribe to Batman’s mantra, one needs to harness his own fears and then use them against his enemies – which, in my case, is in the form of a falcon. I’ve got it … Thor the Falconeer.
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 2nd 4:02:30pm
Location: Oktoberfest at The Village
Great beard of Zeus, this stein is really heavy … why did I sign up for the stein competition? Thor’s power is weakening. Earlier, I think I saw a guy cheat at the hot dog eating contest. I’m pretty sure he was passing wieners to his buddy. I saw that once on “Oz.” That was a good show.
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 2nd 4:02:50pm
Location: Oktoberfest at The Village
Lord I’m gonna suck on Tuesday. Still no mixer. My mighty arm is really sore … sore with the sting of infinite falcon talons.
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 5th 12:34 pm
Location: Library
I really need to do some PR. Maybe I should try gorilla marketing? No, I hate gorillas. This is a lot of work for a bar tab. Okay I need a sweet flyer, a flyer that strikes fear in the hearts of my enemies. How do you make a flyer? I’m getting pretty thirsty. I can’t wait to punish that bar tab with the strength of Thor’s mighty war hammer … I mean falcon.
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 6th 2:45 pm
Location: Living Room
Praise be to Odin the mixer is here. Okay, how the hell do I use this thing? So many buttons. If I don’t figure it out I can always just play an iPod. That’s so lame… okay time to falcon focus.
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 6th 8:58pm
Location: Auld Dubliner
Almost show time, in the words of Kevin McAllistor in Home Alone, “This is it. Don’t get scared now.”
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 6th 9:16pm
Location: Auld Dubliner
Okay, this isn’t so bad. At least there’s a strobe light. People keep asking me for more Lady Gaga. Damn it! I don’t have any!
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 6th 10:43pm
Location: Auld Dubliner
Potent wings of Pegasus! Two people are dancing! A monkey could do this. Okay now they’re not dancing. I wish I had some Lady Gaga … and a monkey.
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 6th 12:03am
Location: Auld Dubliner
Crap. There are two other DJs here and I think they’re planning a takeover. I better play some shitty music so they leave. Okay, cueing up The Bangles.
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 6th 12:06am
Location: Auld Dubliner
It worked! Except everyone is gone except for retired Sheet Spokesmodel Goforth. Man he loves The Bangles. I think it’s time for me to leave. They’re turning off the lights.
ThorTheFalconTweet
October 6th 2:05am
Location: The Falcon nest
If I don’t want to suck next Tuesday I need some serious practice. Maybe I should call DJ Matty Mo, or at least read the instruction manual. Nah, it’s getting late. Thor needs sleep.
