Trading from the grave
Al Davis is trading from the grave. How else to explain the Raiders trading a first round pick next year AND a conditional first round pick in 2013 for an aging QB (Carson Palmer) who’s basically shot. Everyone is talking about how Coach Hue Jackson now has so much more control over the team dealings … well, Al’s son Mark better relieve him of that control ‘cause this is a horrible deal for the Raiders.
The Raiders traded two valuable picks for a QB who in his last 3 full seasons threw 53 INTs and has twice thrown 20 interceptions in a season. He also had Chad Ochocinco, Chris Henry, Terrell Owens and T.J. Whozyamama catching the ball for him. He has had talent around him, but has looked abysmal.
Fans, GMs and coaches have the innate ability to do what people do in life…………you know when you look at your kid and he is a mess now but all you see is that little kid in the baby picture that yelled Daddy when you came home … that is what fans do with sports stars. Carson Palmer now is not Carson Palmer in 2004.
People look at washed-up athletes and say “that is a great trade” thinking they are getting Carson Palmer from 5 years ago. Or Lee Evans from 4 years ago. Or Donte Stallworth from everyone’s imagination (‘cause he’s never done squat). The Raiders had me suckered cuz I was actually thinking they were looking like a real football team. They made a good coaching hire, had a normal draft. Put together a running game..then they blindside me with this ridiculous move. What makes matters worse is this: can you answer for me when the Raiders draft next year? I will tell you. The Raiders draft in the 5th round next year. Then they draft in the 6th round next year. Then they are fucking done. They don’t even need to visit the team facility or the draft. Just facebook their fucking picks in between beers.
Now Palmer may come in and play decent enough ‘cause the running game is a monster, but long-term, the Raiders just ruined themselves. I can only imagine the Raiders front office making the trade, gathered in a circle, each saying, “Just when our fans thought we were serious about winning, we ruined them again.” Then they each grab a 40 of Olde English pouring some out and singing “This is For My Homie” to a picture of Al Davis on the old projector in their media room.
Lions 38. Falcons 19. The Falcons are Sweden. They have zero defense. Which is surely why they traded away all their draft picks this year for a WR. Why? You can find receivers everywhere. Now I like the guy they picked (Julio Jones), but after getting rolled by the Packkers in last year’s playoffs, the team’s defensive liability was apparent and should have been addressed.
As for Lions coach Jim Schwartz … he was the news last week for trying to get into a postgame tussle with 49er Coach Jim Harbaugh. Or was he really trying to get into it?
Sure, Harbaugh was wrong for the unsportsmanlike way he shook Schwartz’s hand and shoved him out of the way. I would have cussed him out too. But the funny thing about that incident – after the handshake, Schwartz decides to chase down Harbaugh to bitch about it. He gets all puffy in the pectoral region while he’s chasing Harbaugh, then catches up to him. Harbaugh turns to him and you can see him saying, “Get out of my face.” At that point, Schwartz wasn’t so puffy and turned kind of sideways … until a bunch of people got in between him and Harbaugh to break it up. Then he got all puffy again and wanted to push through people to get to Harbaugh. Conclusion: He wanted to look tough, but really didn’t want any part of following through. Watch it on YouTube. Hilarious.
Bucs 24, Bears 20. I don’t like anything about the Bears. Oh … one thing. The pink for Breast Cancer Awareness actually looks pretty cool with their uniforms.Too bad their best player is a kick returner and they are inherently incapable of playing two good games in a row.
Chargers 30, Jets 13. Here’s some bulletin board material. When Jet Coach Rex Ryan was asked how things would’ve been different if he were hired for the Chargers job (he was passed over for Norv Turner), he said, “I would have a couple of rings by now. Those teams were loaded.”
Now I agree Turner is a horrible coach, but Rex should stop putting his foot, or his wife’s feet, in his mouth. Rex and all the rings he has promised with the Jets have now been replaced by all the imaginary rings he would have won with another team. Told you from day one, he has marketed himself into a “great coach” and all the dumbasses that bought the product are slowly starting to see it.
More Jets …
Even when Jet QB Mark Sanchez did his “Jet dance” after the TD pass he threw Monday night, he had his head down. He looks defeated now. And watch Ryan on the sidelines. He knows he’s screwed. He knows he’s hitched his wagon to a swayback mule and not a thoroughbred.
WR Santonio Holmes is the team captain. Huh? He was suspended for the first four games last year. He has been in more trouble than anyone on the team. He should be the captain like CB Antonio Cromartie (eight kids with eight different women) should be the spokesperson for Planned Parenthood.
Why didn’t the Jets trade for Kyle Orton? They can sit and play that frathouse “Here Come the Jets” b.s all they want, but they are in trouble. And the players know it.
Panthers 22, ‘Skins 16. It wasn’t so long ago people were praising Washington QB Rex Grossman as a changed man and lavished praise on Coach Mike Shanahan for KNOWING HIS FOOTBALL TEAM AND CHANGING THEIR CULTURE. Now Grossman’s getting benched and I can’t stop laughing. ‘Cause when the Skins lose 6 of their next 9 games, all those experts on TV leading you astray will be on TV blasting the Skins and saying it like they have had that opinion all year.
Packers 30, Vikings 10. The Vikes are starting their rookie QB Christian Ponder. By the end of the season, the GM will be fired when it becomes apparent Ponder was drafted way too early. Prediction: Bust.
Jags vs Ravens on Monday Night Football. We can put a rover on Mars, but cant shuffle the NFL schedule to avoid this?? Ravens 30, Jags 12.
Why baseball is like bowling
and why neither is a sport
1. Bowling … you eat while you play. Hot dogs, pizza and hamburgers from some of the nastiest kitchens on the planet. Baseball … sunflower seeds, dip and bubble gum. While you play in one of the nastiest environments on the planet where everyone scratches their nuts, licks their hands and touches the same ball and then stuffs sunflower seeds and gum in their mouths. Nasty.
2. Bowling … Every bowling team has that fat guy. The one that is just fat-nasty. But he can bowl. When his ball hits the pins, the whole place can hear it. But when he walks back to the seats for his high fives (right before grabbing his burger and stuffing it back into his face without washing his hands) he is so out of shape from his shuffle down a 15-foot lane to throw the ball that he is winded. Baseball … you have the same thing. His name is Prince Fielder.
3. The final frontier: Bowling … a pitcher of beer while you bowl. Can’t beat that. Really? Baseball … Fenway Park. You can make $15 million a year as a Red Sox starting pitcher and drink in the clubhouse while the game is going on.