Hartley’s picks
Cardinals -8.5 vs the Vikings. Norv Turner was a great offensive coordinator … in 1995. Why is he coordinating the Viking offense today? Can any offensive system remain fresh for 25-30 years? Shouldn’t an offensive coordinator be charged with constantly evolving with the game? Take the Cards and lay the points because the Cards D is pretty good and the Vikes D is reeling right now. And so is their offense. That’s a bad combination.
Meanwhile, Cardinal coach Bruce Arians is doing his best Rex Ryna imitation, talking about how much he dislikes the Rams and Jeff Fisher and how they are a perennial 8-8 team. Sure, he’s right, but that type of stuff always haunts you later.
Bengals minus 3 vs the Steelers. When you see how good the Steelers look some weeks and how bad they look other weeks, you’ve got to trace it back to the coaching. Mike Tomlin is one of those stubborn jackasses who can’t admit he is wrong. We sat Boykin on the bench for 12 weeks after trading a pick for him. Tomlin refuses to bench Antwon Blake who is garbage in Mississippi in the middle of summer … he stinks. They start him every week while Boykin sits. Blake is rated as the worst cornerback in the league. And every week Tomlin starts him and babbles some bull$#*% in his defense. Last week Boykin gets put in the rotation and the defense looks much better, although it was against a bad team, Boykin was clearly better than Blake’s sorry ass. After the game Tomlin doesn’t want people to read too much into the cornerback rotation being an issue. Take the Steelers.
Panthers minus 7.5 points vs Falcons. When a team is 12-0 you keep saying the odds are against them winning again. But Cam Newton … you can keep killing Cam for not being Aaron Rodgers, but Cam is amazing. He is carrying the Panthers. I don’t want to hear about his completion percentage when he is putting up the points he is. He completes passes deep downfield, he runs the ball in for TDs. He has zero offensive talent around him. When a defensive coordinator is up against the Panthers they put number 1 and number 88 on the board and plan for him and I can guarantee you they don’t worry about Ted Ginn. Ted Ginn literally has no fingerprints or thumbs and can’t catch the ball unless it hits him in the balls and he slaps hard there because it hurts so bad.
Browns -1.5 vs the Niners. Johnny Jackass starting again for the Browns. He’s benched, he is a bad person … we lost 37-3 We are gonna start him, but he is on a short leash … again. Quit pretending as coaches that you care in the least about character. That little jackass is laughing his ass off and buying a marijuana mouthpiece while you read this. He doesn’t care what he does, because he knows dumbass coaches, GMs and owners will sell their souls to win and he will get a chance as long as that miserable organization employs him. Take the Niners.
Bears minus 3 vs Redskins. Redskin QB Kirk Cousins looks clueless to me. He just looks like the kid who was spoiled his whole life and if anything went wrong, he ran home to mommy. I think he is a mediocre, inconsistent QB who will waste a team’s time thinking he is a franchise QB. WR Desean Jackson is talking smack again, too. Take the Bears.
Bills minus 1 at Eagles. Eagle RB Demarco Murray is complaining to the owner about how he’s being used. He should complain to his agent for letting him sign with that team. Pro athletes are the most predictable and least accountable people on the planet. Take the Bills and lay the points.
Chiefs minus 10 vs the Chargers. Wow. The Chargers are so bad they are a 10 point dog. That is a Bama vs Kentucky line.
Bucs minus 3.5 vs Saints. The Saints defense should be fined for impersonating an NFL squad. Take the Bucs.
Jaguars -1 vs. the Colts. All that Matt Hasselbeck love is dying fast now. Take the Jags and lay the pint … I mean point. I started off accidentally with one pint instead of one point … fitting because you need a bunch of pints to watch this game.
Jets minus 7 vs the Titans. No. Jets can’t lay that many points. Take the Titans plus the points. My son calls Mariotta Marioverrated. I like that one.
Patriots only laying 3 points vs Texans? That is &$%#ing bizarre. Bizarre. Take the Pats and lay the points. Hoyer? Alfred Blue? Lay the points. I can’t believe I am saying this, but I feel bad for Brady. He is throwing the ball to Subway and Dunkin Donuts employees. They have a lot of injuries, but has anyone asked this? Why is Chip Kelly dogged for putting a bunch of injury-prone players on the field, but no one questions why Belichick paid Danny “IR” Amendola a bunch of money? Does anyone understand why Belichick cannot draft a decent WR to save his life? If Jerry RIce walked into the facility and asked for a job I don’t think Belichick could see his talent as a WR.
Broncos laying 7.5 points vs Raiders. The Raiders are funny right now. They have improved quite a bit but they are about to make the ultimate mistake. They are going to go all in with Jack Del Rio. We have seen his act. He may get the team to mediocrity … and they will stay there. They have a bunch of young new players, they don’t need an old school coach. They need someone that is into moving things forward. Who is their offensive coordinator? Bill Musgrave. They need go get an up-and-coming, innovative coordinator, not Bill Musgrave. Bill Musgrave was fired in 2004 by … Jack Del Rio. Hilarious. Take the Raiders plus the points. The Broncos aren’t going to score a lot and the Raiders if they wing it around a bit can score. Low-scoring and a 7.5 point spread?
Packers laying 7 vs the Cowboys. Lay the points. Based on the way the Packers are playing … be careful. I have been hearing all season how the Packers are struggling because the Packers have no receivers. But every year we have heard the Packers can win with anyone because Rodgers makes the receivers better. But as soon as they start struggling … the receivers are sorry. I am sick of that $#%& when I watch Cam Newton winning with Ricky Proehl, Rae Carruth and Muhsin Muhammad, and not in their ‘prime,’ but when the Panthers struggle they never say he doesn’t have good receivers. Everything hinges on him, but Aaron Rodgers gets the benefit of the doubt on everything.
