MARTYR!

 I recently rented the 1966 film version of Ray Bradbury’s “Fahrenheit 451,” – could only find it one place, on some service called Fandango, for $9.99. And you couldn’t rent it. You had to buy it. 

*Note to IRS. I’m definitely taking this deduction. Not that there’s anyone left employed there to check/care. 

Anyway, for those unfamiliar with the story, Bradbury’s sci-fi tale, originally published in 1953, imagines a world in which books are banned and there are special book-burning crews who put out books much like a fire crew would put out fires. 

They respond to calls, tear homes apart, make a pile of the books they find, and then torch them with a flamethrower. 

It’s a pretty clever concept, though quaint. 

Because you don’t have to ban books these days. No one reads books. Hell, people view anyone who reads with suspicion if not contempt. When I suggest a book to my daughter, she looks at me like I’m crazy. She’s got TikTok and Instagram. They’re much more compelling. And they feed her exactly what she wants. 

It’s funny, because no one reads books and yet everyone similarly has a quaint notion that they can write a really good one and that other people, who don’t normally read, will a.) suddenly decide to read that one particular book out of the zillions that exist and b.) lionize them for their literary triumph.

A few weeks back, in a group text, I received a photoshopped photograph of President Trump pulling a kiddie plastic car, and a photo of Ukrainian President Zelenskyy’s face was superimposed on the toddler in the car. 

I have to admit I’m not sure why I’m on the group text. I don’t recognize a lot of the numbers. 

But I see the image and against my better judgment (because I typically ignore this type of noise), I write back and say, in what I believe to be an understated tone, “Ummm, shouldn’t the roles be reversed here?” 

And then my phone starts blowing up. 

Because people are pissed! that politics has been introduced on this group text, particularly a political opinion that is not universally shared. 

Three or four people demand to be removed from the text chain. 

I write this as backdrop just because … the book “Martyr!” by Kaveh Akbar was recommended to me. So I opened it and started reading – and I purposefully don’t like to know what a book is about before I start. At least a work of fiction. 

This one is about a gay, recovering alcoholic, Iranian-American writer/intellectual who is writing a book about martyrdom. Typically, this is not a checklist which interests me. But it’s important to expand one’s horizons, right? Ha. Quaint-squared. 

The twist on the tale is that the reason he is Iranian-American is because he was born in Iran but in 1988 the U.S. military accidentally shot down a commercial flight that his mother was on (this incident actually happened, by the way.) In the aftermath, he and his father emigrate to the U.S. 

There are so many philsophical nuggets in this book. Things I maybe knew but only subconsciously. Because facing one’s complicity is no fun. 

Example: Absence of active bad doesn’t equal good. 

“It’s simple to cut things out of a life. You break up with a shitty partner, quit eating bread, delete the Twitter app. You cut it out, and the shape of what’s actually killing you clarifies a little. The whole Abrahamic world invests itself in this promise: Don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t fuck or steal or kill, and you’ll be a good person. Eight of the ten commandments are about what thou shalt not. But you can live a whole life not doing any of that stuff and still avoid doing any good. That’s the whole crisis. The rot at the root of everything. The belief that goodness is built on a constructed absence, not-doing. That belief corrupts everything, has everyone with any power sitting on their hands. A rich man goes a whole day without killing a single homeless person and so goes to sleep content in his goodness. In another world, he’s buying crates of socks and Clif bars and tents, distributing them in city centers. But for him, abstinence reigns.” 

Another part that I liked was his reference to a Sufi prayer that in its entirety, reads, “Lord, increase my bewilderment.” 

Which is juxtaposed by another passage which reads, 

“The only people who speak in certainties are zealots and tyrants.” 

Never mind that people who speak in certainties are so fucking tiresome. 

I loved this next passage. I feel like it speaks to exactly where we’re heading

“I am going to buy the biggest Cadillac door I can find so when the world ends and it’s just us left to fend for ourselves, I can roll down the window when it gets hot.”

Perhaps I should place a Cadillac door in my front yard. An art piece. Who wants to sell me a door? 

Let’s give Steve Jolly of Truckee the final word to a disjointed editorial which I’m not sure I follow or understand:

“For those who oppose President Trump’s tariff policy, ask yourself about Mammoth’s 15% tourism tax. #MakeMammothanHOAagain”

 Late-breaking news on Thursday. Third Mono County Hanta death reported. Third Mono County Hanta death reported. Please follow the protocols outlined on page seven