CARLETON IS LOWEST

Published in the June 6, 2026 edition.

In the ‘70s and ‘80s, there was a brand of cigarette called Carlton. 

Carlton was touted as the “healthy” cigarette, with low tar and nicotine content. 

The cigarettes also apparently tasted like dirt. 

But no matter. Carlton was heavily marketed. I can recall the full-page ads in my subscription to Sports Illustrated. 

My campaign for Inyo County Supervisor ended abruptly on Tuesday. 

It was a tale of two Carlton campaigns actually. The cigarette slogan of “Please Try Carlton” replaced by the apt slogan, “Carlton is Lowest.” 

As in, lowest vote-getter. Yet good enough for a Bronze Medal!

Of course, I spell my last name Carleton, and my sister was duly impressed that it was spelled correctly on the ballot. Kudos to Inyo County Elections. 

She then added, after appraising the first voter summary, “I see there have been 385 votes counted thus far. There were also six overvotes, so, from people too dumb to vote. And 23 undervotes – people who couldn’t be bothered to have an opinion.” 

Yes, I replied. But my weakness, dear sister, lay in attracting votes from people who both had an opinion and were smart enough to get it counted. 

As I conduct my own personal campaign post-mortem, it’s difficult not to agree with the voters, whom I tend to believe get it right. 

I overestimated my ability/time/energy to knock on enough doors. 

I refused campaign donations and hardly spent any money – I figured if one is gonna advocate for fiscal prudence, be fiscally prudent. 

I ain’t Tom Steyer. But I probably needed to do more.

Honestly, the reason I rebelled against “doing more” is that it just feels fake. Let me tell you how great I am! Uggh. 

I underestimated the power of being part of a tribe – whether it be the Paiute Tribe or the multi-generational Bishop tribe. 

Don’t get me wrong. I like my tribe of loners and iconoclasts and intellectuals, but they don’t tend to come in the form of extended families. They come in one’s and two’s. 

I underestimated how irrelevant interviews and campaign forums are. Scott Marcellin absolutely bombed every public speaking opportunity. Didn’t matter. 

Fifty people showed to the one forum. Eastern Sierra Now did fairly extensive interviews of the candidates – they garnered less than a hundred views apiece. 

Most of the attendees didn’t even live in District Three. 

What Scott did well, and does well, is that he used the levers of his incumbency to address some of the issues raised. 

At the first Tribal Council meeting I attended in April, he announced plans (via a county public works employee) to apply for a grant to build some long overdue sidewalks on the Rez. 

*I guess this plan was originally announced in February once he realize he might have challengers for reelection.

At the last County Supes meeting in May, he promised (I imagine in response to criticism at the campaign forum) that the ballfields at Millpond would be restored. 

And because I siphoned off enough votes in the primary, Marcellin and Orihuela now go to a November runoff. Which means that Marcellin will have a fire under his ass for at least another five months. 

You can all thank me for that. 

As for Orihuela, true to brand, he skipped the final Tribal Council meeting before the election on May 28. 

At the meeting, a short presentation was made by the managers of the two gas station/convenience stores. 

I was initially provided a handout of the store’s financials, and then I was asked to give the handout back because I wasn’t a Tribal member. The information, they said, was proprietary.

Bummer. 

Of course, I have a pretty good memory. 

Without giving specific numbers away, two items stood out. 

One was overall fuel sales. I figured that despite the increase in gas prices, the Tribe would’ve sold more in volume because they’re always a few cents cheaper than everybody else. Indeed, their overall sales volume increase in fuel was about 7%. 

Second was vape revenue, which had increased sixfold at the Line Street location. 

As Klusmire posited on Thursday, maybe because it’s on sovereign land, the ID requirements are more lax. You know – it’s the go-to spot for the high schoolers.

Then, because he’s a pro, he drove down to the station to get an answer. We’ll circle back to this when he returns in a few minutes. 

It is interesting that less than a week later, the Tribe then issued a short press release saying the Inyo Sheriff is investigating a possible embezzlement at its convenience store located on North Sierra Highway. 

That c-store didn’t provide a handout at the Council meeting. Maybe that was a sign. 

*Klusmire has returned, they do card for age. As he said with some chagrin, “The facts have gotten in the way of a good story.” 

Overall, I wasn’t terribly surprised by the electoral outcome. 

We live in a state that’s dominated by two interest groups: tech zillionaires and public sector unions. 

In Inyo County, public sector employment represents approximately half. 

Having a campaign plank where you point out the need to rein in salaries and benefits of county employees isn’t a winner. 

Last week’s 3rd quarter budget update showed county employees are up more than 10% overall again this year, and up 40% over four years. 

When I went to my Union “interview” during the campaign, the reception was cool. I didn’t do much to thaw it. As I told the assembled union reps, I’m really not quite sure why I’m here. You’ve done so well negotiating with Marcellin and the current board, why change horses? He’s your guy. 

But there is a threat to such a short-termist, smash ’n grab philosophy – because if the economy goes into the tank and the stock market balloon gets punctured, then you’re staring at layoffs. Versus having saved for a rainy day. 

But the point is, if you tell people a tsunami’s coming, no one will pay the least bit of attention until they’re soaking wet and knee deep. 

That is the curse of being a Cassandra. 

I’ll leave you with a mean analogy – that’s another curse cemented into one’s brain courtesy of SAT tests. 

Marcellin is to Carleton as Wheel of Fortune is to Jeopardy. 

Nah. Let’s go one further. As Price is Right is to Jeopardy. 

And maybe, just maybe, this is why I lost. Too much of a wiseguy.