Drink like a champion
Big Ben … a jerk? Or simply “misunderstood.” (PHOTO: SCRAPETV.COM)
Big Ben in more trouble
What is the greatest sport ever? Football! Why? ‘Cause football season is over and we are still talking about it every day. The Super Bowl is over and they immediately start talking NFL scouting combine. Now I have to admit, there is something wrong with grown, testosterone-ridden, manly men sitting around watching young boys in spandex run, jump and bounce around during these combines. But if it is okay for the NFL (as well as the Catholic Church), then who are we to think poorly of it?
First things first. During the free agency period, there is one team you will hear absolutely nothing about: the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers won’t sign a free agent anyone knows and will only lose players so don’t plan on them blowing any money … But wait, this year’s been busy.
1. They sign Casey Hampton. Great move. The key to any 3-4 defense is a nose tackle that eats up offensive linemen.
2. They placed the franchise tag on their kicker. WHAT? That’s a Raider move. Worse yet, this is the same kicker facing some legal charges. Kicker? The Steelers gave up a boatload of return TDs last year. Why? ‘Cause the kicker can’t kickoff the ball past the other team’s 20 yard line. EVER. I don’t understand this one at all.
3. Ben Rottenburger is accused of sexual assault … AGAIN. Here he is, the face of your franchise, the guy you gave the $100 million contract. And he has been accused of sexual assault twice as well as crashed his motorcycle one off-season while riding without a helmet. He is a serious liability. Why does he insist on showing all these young ladies why they call him Big Ben?
The Raiders just gave the highest tender offer they could to a free agent to keep him from being signed by another team. The player? Stanford Routt. Quick, what position does he play? If you don’t know, just say … he is some guy that ran a 4.3 forty and got drafted way too high by the Raiders. Check. No one, and I mean no one wants to sign that bum. So the Raiders rewarded him with a guarantee for big money. Meanwhile, they slapped a pork rind and beer tender on their best TE, so anyone can take him.
Michael Vick Project. This dumbass has a television show. America is full of hypocrites who are quick to build someone up, idolize him and then rip him up when they get too big. Then claim they will never trust them, like them or give them another chance. Then give them a new $1 million contract and a TV show. So, all of you talking about Tiger being done: shut up and witness the Michael Vick project.
The new and improved Vick is a joke. He is now saying he wants a starting job. He had one in Atlanta and wasn’t very good at it). And he is saying he wants to play in Carolina so he can “play Atlanta twice a year.” Like the Falcons did him wrong. They paid him a bunch of money and stood by his punk, convict ass and now he is acting like they did something to him. The owner wheeled Vick around in a wheelchair on the sidelines when Vick was broken. What an ungrateful punk!
Speaking of the Panthers. They cut Delhomme a year after giving him $20 million in guaranteed money. Which meant they couldn’t afford to resign Julius Peppers. What did their $20 million buy? 8 TDs and 18 Ints.
Back to Vick. Did you know he won the NFL courage award last year? Stop laughing. I am serious. He won an NFL courage award for his demonstration of “sportsmanship and courage.” Because he had the courage to get out of prison after killing dogs and … not kill anymore dogs?
The Seahawks are allegedly trying to trade for Eagle backup QB Kevin Kolb. And Seahawk fans are willing to trade the 6th or 14th pick in the draft for him because he “has proven himself as a QB in the NFL.” He has? He has started 2 games. And the Eagles and the press have talked him up to Elway status. Of course they have … to swindle Seattle.
Detroit wants to keep losing. They signed Nate Burleson to a 5-year, $25 million contract.
Arizona let its best 2 defensive players go. And that defense was horrible last year. May need to install third digit on scoreboard.
Chicago signed Peppers and Chester Taylor … both good moves. Question for Taylor: Is he afraid to be a starting RB? He sits behind Adrian Petersen in Minnesota for years, gets a chance to be a free agent and goes to another team where he will split time (with Matt Forte). Aim high, Chester.
The Chargers traded Antonio Cromartie, which is probably a good idea, what with him having 6 kids by 5 different women AND missing his child support payments last month. Considering his lack of desire to tackle anyone, he is a one-trick pony. How does he fit into the Jets tough-minded defense? He is going to piss someone off. Coach Rex Ryan will dog him in the press and he will make a few more babies and this will all be over soon.
The experts are dead wrong on Sam Bradford. Very few of the college QBs drafted number one overall end up being worth a damn. And with Bradford, he is fragile, has never taken a snap from center and you have no idea what you are getting. So how is he the number one overall pick? Some expert said “ he blew everyone away with his interviews.” If only you could talk the walk.
Joel Przybilla, center for the Portland Trailblazers, ruptured his patella tendon back in December so he was already out for the season. Then a few days ago, he was doing some major, intense rehab … taking a shower … and he slipped and tore the thing again, so he needs more surgery. Unbelievable. Someone should tell that dumbass if he is going to be doing “that” in the shower, then his gimpy ass needs a handle on the wall.
Funny thing about the Seattle Mariners: they have Milton Bradley on their team. They traded Carlos Silva for him. Mariner fans were laughing about how the Cubs got taken. I asked one guy: If you are laughing about how they took Silva, how bad do you think they wanted to get rid of Bradley? They are laughing at you!
NCAA tourney is coming, baby. But I have to admit they are ruining it for me. They keep talking about expanding to 96 teams. 96 teams in the NCAA hoops tourney, but we can’t get an 8-team NCAA football playoff? I can’t even express my disgust.
Toyota can’t seem to get its s%$# together and are trying to kill folks with their cars. The government should hammer Toyota. They fed people a bunch of bull about the floor mats getting the accelerator stuck. Then they hit people with linkage issues getting the gas pedals stuck. All the while anyone with a pulse and opposable thumbs could figure out they have a computer or control unit problem. They rolled out some bulls%$# repair and still people are getting in their cars and finding out they own Christine.
SeaWorld: a killer whale killed a trainer. The killer whale was so beautiful and well trained that everyone is seriously surprised. What the hell? People are nutty. Like the crazy dude who lives on your block who has 5 pit bulls and says, “Don’t worry, they don’t bite” while he watches them fight over raw beef. A killer whale, even a trained one, is a killer whale.
