Get your eye black on …
My Steelers are in a world of trouble after Tom Brady beat the NFL in court on Thursday and his suspension was thrown out. He is going to go off in the season opener next Thursday.
But based on the Steelers’ preseason, Tom Brady is the least of their troubles. They’ve got to look within.
First, the Steelers have decided to keep three QBs on their roster. It makes no sense. While bitching about it I make the point every time that Landry Jones, the third stringer, is a bum. He couldn’t complete half his passes againsr a secondary full of Subway sandwich artists. But they have trotted that moron out there for three years now, maybe four. It has been so long it is blending together. Use the roster spot for a position you actually need.
The reason a third quarterback is a third quarterback is because he can’t stand pressure, can’t read a defense and can’t throw the ball from his hand to his nuts with any accuracy. So if your starting QB gets hurt during a game and your backup QB gets hurt aftre that, you probably can’t even use the third string QB because you usually have him inactive for the game.
Never mind that if you get to your third string QB during a game, very likely your line has been a sieve and YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE ANYWAY. So you might as well let one of the receivers on your team who was a QB in college hand the ball off the rest of the game.
The last and most important reason for not carrying a third QB … if your starting QB gets hurt and your backup gets hurt every team in the league will go out and get a VETERAN backup to take over and wouldn’t even think of letting that third string loser take a snap (except the Cardinals last year and you see how that turned out).
To add to this rant. The Steelers carry three QBs. The backup gets hurt. The Steelers elevate Landry Jones to second string, right? Hell no. They sign Michael Vick, the brittle turnover machine, and make him the backup.
If starter Ben Roethlisberger gets hurt, I guarantee they will go out and get another QB so Vick doesn’t play. And it won’t be Landry Jones.
Russell Wilson. I have been holding onto this one but I have to get this out there. Seahawks QB Russell Wilson is batshit crazy. He is starting to sound like one of those street preachers with a megaphone on the corner babbling about the reckoning. First he was saying GOD SPOKE to him and told him not to have sex with Ciara. God told him that one … or she decided to make him the ONE idiot she wanted to make wait to see if he really loves her.
God may have told him not to hit it … but that didn’t stop all the others before him.
Now Russell is promoting something called “Recovery Water” and in a magazine interview says he didn’t get a concussion after a brutal hit because he drank some RECOVERY WATER. Comical.
The Buffalo Bills are the new Jets because they’ve got the same ringleader in Coach Rex Ryan. Rex goes to Buffalo and immediately starts building another frat house, signing the guy that punched out Jets starting QB Geno Smith … ooh. Gotta take a detour here.
Geno Smith. I forgot all about him. A reserve linebacker on his own team punched him in the grill and broke his jaw in the locker room. I laughed out loud. Can you imagine someone on the Pats punching Brady in his face or Manning getting punched or Brees? Nope, wouldn’t happen because no one on their teams would do it even if one of those QBs tapped their wife, videotaped it and played it in the locker room for the whole team to see.
Here’s what happened in the Geno case, and seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.
The dude did it for the $600 that Geno owed him for a plane ticket. The ticket was for Geno to visit a kids’ football camp the guy was running. So Geno is a no-show, doesn’t call and then points in the guy’s face and tells him he can’t do anything about the $600. Pow.
It gets better. Two days after surgery, Geno is photographed outside his house, shirtless with no physique, throwing passes in his driveway … with eye black on. If I were his agent, his publicist, his girlfriend or his parents I would quit and fire him. He is a moron.
But back to my point. The guy that punched Geno in his mouth – and I fully believe Geno DESERVED THAT – immediately got picked up by Rex Ryan in Buffalo. Of course he did. Rex always wants a “tough team.” But not necessarily a smart team.
The guy who punched Geno? This wasn’t his first rodeo. Here’s why several NFL teams wouldn’t touch him. Long story short, back when he was in school, the idiot set up an ORAL sex session via the internet with someone. He arrived at their house and a person was covered in a blanket and refused to be seen. He left the house. Good instinct. But then he went back in after being texted by the “girl.” Not-so-good instinct. By this point, he realizes someone else is in the room … then a phone goes off and he can see the person under the blanket is a MAN. He, wait for it, punches the person in the face and jumps out the window. YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP. Now this was known before he was drafted so some teams just took him off their draft board. But he wasn’t taken off one draft board – the Jets. Who drafted him? Rex Ryan.
By now everyone has heard the Jean Pierre-Paul story. Start Giants DE blew up his hand with fireworks on July 4 and was forced to retire.
As a person who LOVES fireworks and believes they should be used weekly, year-round, I will not get on him about the accident.
My problem is with ESPN reporter Adam Schefter’s little slimy ass. And the media in general and its immunity from legal issues.
Schefter obtained medical records for Pierre-Paul while he was still in treatment. It is clearly a violation of HIPAA laws for people’s medical information to be shared.
But since Schefter and the media didn’t obtain the information by illegal means, Schefter wasn’t required to act responsibly and cannot be punished for it.
Which is a crock of s&%t. A store or retailer cannot willingly/knowingly buy stolen property but a rep of the media can get information that is clearly a violation of many legal privacy acts and can post it on a Twitter account because he “didn’t steal it himself.” But he sought it out and probably paid someone for it. Ridiculous. I have ZERO respect for Schefter or anyone that agrees with that.
The NFL should give up on LA. Why do they care? How many teams have been there and left? If you had a girlfriend that kept cheating on you or kicking you in the nuts would you keep going out with her? LA doesn’t love the NFL. The Rose Bowl committee just told the NFL that it doesn’t want to be a temporary home for the NFL. The city doesn’t care. Leave it alone. But I am tired of hearing every lame-ass team that has a stadium issue using LA as leverage to say they will move.
Cleveland QB Josh McCown thinks a QB competition with last year’s #1 draft pick Johnny Manziel would be a distraction. Yeah, I laughed my ass off at that one. Of course he thinks that because he knows he is just as putrid as Manziel is. If you were really that superior, you’d invite the competition.
There is no reason to be shirtless:
1. When driving your car. Seriously, what for?
2. When walking down the street with a backpack on.
3. When you are walking around your yard … and you are 65.
4. When you are in your driveway throwing footballs with eye black on.
5. When you go into the bank, grocery store, etc.
Fantasy Football rules for success:
1. Don’t draft players who are always injured. I know you think this will be the year he won’t get injured and you’ll crow about getting him cheap. but don’t do it. DeMarco Murray had his year. That ship has sailed.
2. Don’t draft Cleveland Browns. They aren’t smart enough to start the good players even when they have them.
3. Don’t hold your draft before the preseason games are over. See Jordy Nelson.
4. Don’t draft Peyton Manning.
5. Don’t listen to team web page or blog reports. Every year you hear how GREAT a player is doing according to his coaches. Right. Manziel looked great last year, too, according to reports. This year i have heard so many people look good … hen you see them in a preseason game and they are horrible. Looking good when there are no blitzes, no pads and no hitting is useless. Kinda like dating Ciara when GOD tells you not to have sex with her.
6. Don’t draft any RB who says he is going to get 2,500 yards. That person is cursing himself and pis robably going to blow out a nut muscle and miss the whole season.
