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She needs to go… with someone else

  • by Harold Hartley
  • in Sports and Outdoors
  • — 29 Oct, 2010

Who is just loving seeing the Cowboys getting their asses kicked? I am! Hmm. Where is Cowbitch Owner Jerry Jones? Don’t seem to be seeing his old ass all over the TV smiling about how his team will be the first to play the Super Bowl in its home stadium. Loving it. All the ‘talent’ the Cowboys have. And a spineless sponge for a coach. He is a joke. All the penalties and ridiculous mistakes. Those are coaching issues.

Jerry Jones is getting what he deserves. In the past, he chafed at Jimmy Johnson and Bill Parcells getting too much credit, so every time things look up, Jerry wants to get some of the credit for himself and screws it all up. That is why they haven’t won a  playoff game since 1997.

Oh yeah, QB Tony Romo got hurt and WR Roy Williams said backup  “Jon Kitna is just as good as Romo.”

Hmm. A career mediocrity is as good as your starter? If Kitna is as good as Romo, then Romo Sucks.

Select picks for this week

Bills 24, Chiefs 20. Everyone thinks Todd Haley is the next great coach. Thta’s what a couple of lucky defensive TDs will do for you. And a favorable schedule.

Niners 16, Broncos 13. The Broncos gave up 59 points to the Raiders last week. The Raiders, who can’t score on anyone. The Broncos quit on coach Josh McDaniels. And why not? He was just out there pouting and stomping around like Dennis the Menace. After a 6-0 start to his coaching career, he is 4-13 since. Meanwhile, Niner QB Alex Smith just lost his job for good. His separated shoulder has opened the door for Former Ohio State QB Troy Smith, who is good enough to lead this team. He won’t let go of this opportunity.

Packers 30, Jets 13. Revis Island has become, well, like any season of Survivor after season one. Distinctly unmemorable.

Dolphins 23, Bengals 17. T.O. is happy catching passes. That’s all that matters to him.

Cowboys 20, Jags 10. Everyone says the Cowboys still have a chance. Sure, if the schedule has the Jaguars on it for the next ten games in a row.

Titans 24, Chargers 16. Former Bolt Coach Marty Schottenheimer is laughing his ass off right now. By the time WR Vincent Jackson is cleared to play, they’ll be 4-7.

Short takes

Bear QB Jay Cutler threw 4 interceptions last week. All made by Redskin CB DeAngelo Hall. Then after the game he said, “I have played against him before. There is no reason to stay away from him. If we play them again, I will go at him every time.”

Someone just punch Cutler in the mouth. He’s a bum. He came out of Vanderbilt and everyone forgave him for not winning any games in college … ‘cause it was Vanderbilt.

Then he gets to the pros and couldn’t win in Denver. Wasn’t his fault. Can’t win in Chicago. Not his fault. And everyone thinking Cutler and Offensive Coordinator Mike Martz are a good match should also think it’s a good idea for me to own a Bar and Porn Shop. Never get high on your own supply.

Funniest line of the week. Someone on NFL Network asked Deion Sanders if he ever had 4 interceptions in a game. Deion responded “No one was crazy enough to throw at me 4 times in one game.” Hilarious.

I don’t think Cutler is color-blind. He is autistic. He likes the number 23. He thought DeAngelo Hall was Devin Hester. Who could blame him? Hall is a better receiver than Hester. If I played for the other teams, I would put all the DBs on my team in #23 jerseys and have a field day. Dumbass. Cutler is Rainman, I’m a good passer … I’m a very good passer.

If NFL players are bitching about not getting to cheap shot people enough, they should quit the NFL and play hockey. In hockey you can not only blindside people, you can hit them, beat them with sticks and even drop the gloves and just brawl until you are both bloody.

Viking QB Brett Favre was hurting a lot more after his interceptions last week against Green Bay than he was after throwing TD passes. And after the game, the film crew followed him all the way to the locker room. Of course, his limp got more pronounced as the cameras rolled.

Viking Head Coach Brad Childress is a child. An emotional little wimp. Did you see him during that game? He complained about a TD catch being overturned. Then, when everyone in the world could see his offensive lineman yanking down a defender by the facemask, Childress was on the sidelines saying, “How do you make that call?”

By throwing a flag, you dumbass.

Childress is now dogging Favre in press conferences. Too late, jellyfish. You gave up all control when you let Favre skip training camp for 2 years, drove to the airport to get him AND sent 3 guys on a plane to Favre’s hometown to beg him to come back to the team. So, you lost control. You can’t have it back. You are getting fired anyway.

The experts have spoken again. And this week they have new Best Teams in The League. They are back to the Giants again, and since the Jets haven’t played in a week, the Steelers are number one now in the AFC.

You know what is wrong with picking a new best team every week … you become the BCS and College Football polls. Who cares? In the NFL, the playoffs take care of everything.

If this were the NCAA, the Cowboys and Chargers would still be ranked in the top ten based upon strength of schedule. Ha!

Two news stories that had me rolling …

1. A guy having an argument decides to shoot the person he’s arguing with. In the head. Three times. Then he runs away and hides in a restaurant down the street.

The police find him and the news crews interview the restaurant owner. Who says something like this:

“I am in the store and this guy comes in. He starts talking to people. He says he has shot someone and he is in my store – Habib’s Diner on the corner of 2nd and Pine!

The restaurant owner even turned to the camera as he said this, like he was shooting a commercial. Someone’s shot in the head, but Habib’s not above milking it for a little free advertising. I was waiting for him to follow it up with “Open 6 to 2 every day.”

2. A woman went hiking and got lost for three days. They had to rescue her, of course, and I hope they charge her ass for the trouble.

Anyway, they are interviewing the boyfriend, who didn’t go with her on her little three-day expedition. He says, “She is a very strong woman, but I am going to talk to her about going out alone from now on. She needs to take someone with her.”

Okay, so she needs to go with someone … but it damn well wasn’t going to be him. He even had a smirk on his face as if saying he wasn’t even thinking about taking his ass out there with her.

Advice: Dump his ass.

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Topics: mammothNewssheet

— Harold Hartley

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