Harold’s super bummer

Okay, the Steelers lost. Fortunately, my friend Gregg Scott was over at the house to make sure I didn’t put my head in the oven.

So what happened?

1. The Steeler coaching was horrible. Attempting a 52-yard FG when the kicker had nearly shanked an extra point just minutes before was a ridiculous decision and bailed the Packers out with good field position. Running the ball only 14 times when the RB was averaging 4.7 yards per carry wasn’t smart.

2. Cornerbacks. Before the game I told all the jackasses at my house rooting for the Packers that the one thing that worried me was Packer WRs Jordy Nelson and James Jones against our 3rd and 4th DBs, Randall Gay in particular. And that killed us.

3. MOST IMPORTANT: Big Ben Roethlisberger happened. He was abysmal. He had the chance to cement his legacy, and despite how poorly he played, the Steelers got the ball with 2 minutes left and down by 6. He had every chance to be the legend. And he went Peyton Manning on me and insisted on doing more than he had to do.

3rd and 5 and he throws the ball 21 yards. Why? ‘Cause he was feeling himself from the Ravens game when he threw 58 yards on 3rd and 19. Here is a clue, Ben. You are down by 6. Get the first down. So on 4th and 5, does he get the 5 yards? No. He throws 15 yards. WHY?

Don’t blame the defense ‘cause most of the points the Packers scored were off turnovers. I blame Inmate number 7. Even the TD pass he threw to WR Hines Ward was lucky. Ward bailed him out. It was terribly thrown.

Ben was horrible all game. Throwing too high, too hard, too wide. He may have been 25-40 on completions, but he missed several wide-open deep balls to Heath Miller and Mike Wallace.

I heard so many people blame Rashard Mendenhall for his fumble, but if Mendenhall gets no credit when the Steelers win, how come he gets the blame when they lose?

In other football news …

The Jets have denied other teams permission to interview Bill Callahan and Dennis Thurman for coaching positions. That is very rewarding.

To make an analogy, if I do a great job for you as a fry cook, not only do you refuse to promote me, but if another restaurant wants to promote me, you won’t allow me the opportunity for advancement elsewhere. That promotes a great working environment.

Yet another reason why the Jets are bound to implode.

If I have someone working for me, I want them to be the best at what they do. I want them to strive to replace me. And if they are qualified, I will be the first person to recommend them elsewhwere. ‘Cause that is the right thing to do. It promotes greatness. It makes your people love you. It keeps a freshness and new ideas. But for me to make you the waterboy and tell you to be the best waterboy in the world so I can keep you as a waterboy forever, instead of saying you can be a waterboy today and a head coach in the future is bush league. The Jets are a classless organization.

Funny s%$t. Seattle Seahawks assistant coach Rocky Seto got hired by UCLA as defensive coordinator. No story, right? Wrong. As proof that Twitter, Faceboiok, etc.  has turned grown folks with intelligence into complete jackasses, check this out. This dumbass coach gets on the computer/phone and emails the press that he has accepted the job. Before any announcement has been made by the university. UCLA fans get wind of this and revolt. They start a “VETO SETO” campaign. Before he is even inked to a contract, he is under fire. And then the university put his dumbass under fire for real … AND RESCINDED THE OFFER.

It’s like some dumbass bragging about how he’s gonna score with some gal before they’ve even had a first date. If she hears about it, do you think it’s ever gonna happen?

Charm School

Delta Airlines is sending employees to charm school after racking up several complaints. Why not just send a eunuch to porn college? You give people who work at the airlines the worst possible situation to deal with. The customers are screwed the minute they buy their tickets online and it gets worse from there. Think about this:

1. The customer buys the ticket. Non-refundable, overpriced and inconvenient. But if someone in the family has died, the airline gives them a “bereavement” rate. Why? ‘Cause when you quote them the rate, they want to die themselves. But if they get the discount, they need to roll up on a family member and say, “Yo, dog. I know this is terrrible for you and hard and all, but do have a copy of your Dad’s death certificate handy so I can scan it into my iPhone for the discount?” REALLY?

2. The customer gets to the airline and finds out that even though he bought, reserved and arrived 9 hours early, he still has no seat. Flight’s overbooked. And then the airline leaves it to the employees to bear the brunt of the customer’s wrath.

3. Then, if the customer lucks into a seat, you charge them for the bags they carry on. Why? You want a toothbrush? Gotta check your bag. Because if you put it in your pocket, you’ll be frisked and arrested for being an Al Qaeda rep with a weapon.

I would mess somebody up for trying to get me to go to “charm school” after sending me to the wolves like that.

Picture me as an airline worker:

Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to “F**k You Airlines.” I know you paid. Don’t care. If you didn’t pay, you weren’t going to walk your lazy ass from Seattle to Baltimore so sit down and shut up. Don’t want to check your bag? You don’t have to. When you get to Baltimore, go to sleep, wake your ass up at 5 a.m. and try to find mouthwash, a toothbrush and a wavecap. Shut up and check your bag. Yes, that seat is small. So … you wanna sit on the wing? Yes, that dude next to you is fat as hell … don’t pretend you didn’t get drunk last week and hit something just like that. Sit down, eat your peanuts and your dry-ass sandwich and shut up. On Hartley Airlines … you have wings, bourbon and porn on your personal flatscreen. Isn’t that enough?

Black History Month

February is Black History Month. And I should be proud I am black. ‘Cause the rest of the year I am supposed to be just glad I am included in the human race. But in February, I get special shows and commercials to tell me I am important. I don’t get it. I need a month? So if February is Black History month is the rest of the year White History Year? This s*@t is stupid. Include black history every day. When I was in college I had to take Black History courses to learn about things “negroes” did to contribute to society. ‘Cause they can’t put that stuff in the regular history books.

I am so happy they gave me special classes … and a month, too! Whose ass should I kiss for that blessing?

Kiss my black ass.