LeBron suffers from shrinkage
I rarely start a blast with a baseball note but … riddle me this, Minnesota Twins. If Joe Mauer is your best hitter for average and power and you’ve signed him to ridiculous money, why do you continue to play him at catcher? He keeps getting removed from the lineup due to “bilateral leg weakness.”
First, what is bilateral leg weakness? Second, when you know catching is hard on the knees and WILL reduce the time he is on the field, why not move him to first base? And I don’t want to hear that they can’t move him to first because of Justin Morneau ‘cause Morneau hasn’t been the same since he suffered a concussion last season.
I watched the NBA finals and I haven’t been so happy to see a team besides mine win a championship since … the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
It was satisfying to warch the arrogant and the entitled (good name for a soap opera) trio of Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh get their asses handed to them … on their own floor! The only thing that would have been better would have been if, during the waning minutes, Miami’s arena had played all the clips of Lebron, Wade and Bosh at the preseason press conference dancing and yelling and suggesting they might win seven titles before they even played a game together. I would have loved to see that s%$# rolling on the Jumbotron.
Dwayne Wade. I was a fan of his ‘til this year. He has turned into an entitled little bitch. The whole episode of he and Lebron mocking Dirk Nowitzki and suggesting Dirk hadn’t been that sick – bush league.
Chris Bosh. Why the got a max contract or anything close to it is laughable. There’s a difference between being the best player on a sorry team in Toronto, and deserving a max contract. I heard someone call him BOSH SPICE. Funny. You wanna know what he is … a freeloader. He signed with the Heat and thought he had hit the motherlode. He just figured he was gonna get a championship right away.
Now for LeBron. He was George Costanza in the NBA finals … SHRINKAGE. And just like George, he made excuses. It was cold (I had a bad game), all men have shrinkage when it’s cold (I carried the team while Wade sucked during the Chicago series).
Lebron said “The Man upstairs (God for you non-believers like myself) know when it’s my time.” Really? Who is his P.R. rep? Who lets him talk out loud and tweet at will? His agent and P.R. people should be fired. If I were his P.R. person, I would take away his cellphone or set him up with WIFI that doesn’t work. Because every time he opens his mouth … stupid comes out.
He sat at the press conference after Game 6 and said: “all the people that don’t like Lebron and the Heat will still wake up tomorrow with all their same personal problems and their same life and I will still live my life the way I want.” WOW. Let me translate for you. “You poor hardworking jackasses who pay my salary are just jealous and you can kiss my ass.”
LeBron has been called King James since he was in grade school and hasn’t figured out what to do when the going gets tough. Weak in the mind. Why do you think he signed wtih two other
“superstars?”
If you watched the games, you would see LeBron “facilitating” late in games by getting passes from Wade after Wade would drive and kick it back to him. LeBron would immediately make a chest pass to someone else. Didn’t even look at the basket. LeBron was waiting for ANYONE else to take over. He just disappeared.
And don’t tell me “he is still only 26 years old.” He has been in the league for eight years. He’s not a kid. I heard someone say ‘Michael Jordan didn’t win for eight years.’” But the difference is Michael wasn’t folding. Michael needed Scottie Pippen to step up with him, but make no mistake … everyone knew Mike would step on your ass at crunch time.
LeBron is not one of the all-time greats. The greats are great ‘cause they KNOW it, not ‘cause other people tell them.
The U.S. Open is underway. And I don’t care. No Tiger Woods. No watch. I may scan on Saturday and Sunday for about an hour to see who is winning.
By the time you see this, someone with no chance of winning the whole thing will be in the lead and all the golf experts will be telling you WHY he CAN hold on and win it. When he hasn’t won anything since he was 15. There will be an old ass 56 year old near the leaderboard and the experts will be telling us why he “is the only one that age who can win the tourney by playing smart golf ‘cause he has been here before.” There will be John Daly, Vijay Singh, David Toms or some other has-been near the lead after one round and the experts will tell us how they have revived their game. Lee Westwood and Phil Mickelson will be near the top after round one and everyone will talk about them winning when we both know they will pull a LeBron by Sunday. But I don’t care about any of it ‘cause Tiger isn’t there. And without Tiger, the so-called Tiger challengers will not win. There are 10 different major winners since Tiger last won.
Former Baseball commissioner Fay Vincent was on the radio the other day and he said, “I don’t think [Dallas Mavericks owner] Mark Cuban’s been an easy partner or owner for [NBA Commissioner] David Stern, and that would put me on my guard if he were to come to baseball … The rules are the rules. I think this enormous criticism — the screaming about officials, the kinds of things that got him fined by David — those are not actions of a sensible, responsible owner. I mean winning is not everything, and I’m afraid for some of these owners they get so carried away with winning they believe that’s the objective.”
That sums up baseball right there. Good old boys club that doesn’t want to move forward or improve. They want to keep someone like Cuban from coming in and making a franchise relevant and invigorating the fans and trying to WIN.
Meanwhile, they now have about 10 teams that are losing money. The Dodgers can’t even make payroll! And to say “winning isn’t everything and some owners … believe that is the objective.” What other objective is there? Fans are there to see their team win. Who keeps paying for parking and $8 beers to see teams lose forever?
You want to know what is wrong with baseball. The Mets are paying Bobby Bonilla starting July 1, 2011. Some of you just said, ”WHO?” Yes, Bobby Bonilla is 47 years old and retired 9 years ago and due to the ridiculous contract the Mets signed him to, he had a buyout clause which entitles him to $1 million a year for the next 25 years.
Let’s finish with a sampling of LeBron jokes that have been making the rounds:
LeBron James was just traded to the Florida Panthers. He should be wildly successful, since in the NHL, there are only 3 periods.
I saw LeBron before the game and I asked for $1. He gave me 75 cents. I said where’s the rest? He replied i don’t have a 4th quarter.
What’s the difference between Saturn and LeBron James? Saturn has rings.
Why did LeBron James get an automatic transmission in his Lamborghini? He’s not good in the clutch.
Why didn’t LeBron James go to college? Because he can’t pass the finals.
What does LeBron James have in common with a fabric store? Neither carries any hardware.
Apple is coming out with a LeBron James iPhone. But it only vibrates because it has no rings.
Why does LeBron only get served boneless buffalo wings? Because he has a tendency to choke.
Tomorrow is LeBron James day, everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.
If LeBron wanted a ring, he should have stayed in Ohio and bought one from Terrelle Pryor.
THE NFL lockout will be over soon. They were all waiting for an appropriate time. They are not going to miss out on all that money. Think about this: do the owners want 60% of $9 billion or 100% of nothing?
The Boston Bruins won some cup Wednesday. What sport was that? Curling?
