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NFL: Hartley has the Broncos … So bet the ‘Hawks

  • by Harold Hartley
  • in Sports and Outdoors
  • — 31 Jan, 2014

They’ve got to cut out the two week layover before the Super Bowl. It allows too many stupid people too much time to think up too many stupid questions. Examples:

1. A reporter asked Bronco TE Julius Thomas, “Who on the team has the hottest wife?” Like he could answer  that with anything other than ME. Or if he answered someone else…….then there is the locker room brawl. Stupid.

2. Someone asked Seahawks WR Doug Baldwin, “How many cavities do you think Marshawn Lynch has?” Another asked Baldwin, “On the Seahawks, other than Russell Wilson, who’s the best quarterback?” Well, wouldn’t the ackup QB be the best QB on the team other than the starter?

But my all-time ridiculous Super Bowl media day question was in 1988. Doug Williams was the QB of the Redskins (consider that minority double dip) and he was asked “Doug, how long have you been a black QB?”

Seahawk CB Richard Sherman is the new Terrell Owens. I can’t figure out if his problem is that he didn’t get breastfed enough as a kid … or if he was breastfed too long. He needs WAY too much reassurance for me. If you aren’t kissing his ass and bowing down to him, he has to blast you. He has to tell himself all the time how great he is or he has insecurity problems. HE is Terrell Owens. Remember T.O. went from Team Oriented to Team Obliterator in just a few years. While Sherman is talented, everyone will love him and think he is funny. Just like Rex Ryan. When he loses a step and starts getting beat ..,. he will be just another clown.

Former #1 pick Vince Young filed for bankruptcy. Hilarious. I was talking to someone and he said “you should feel bad for him, not make fun of it.” Huh? I can in NO WAY pretend to feel sorry for that mental midget. Seriously, why would I feel sorry for a guy that had a $50 million contract to play football. The lowlight: after blowing his initial haul of cash, he had to borrow $400,000 to throw himself a birthday party during the NFL lockout a few years ago.

… I was at the grocery store before a Seahawks playoff game and they were selling Seahawk beer for $9 a six pack. Wow. And I can bet you it was Pabst Blue Ribbon with a painted can.

Dallas Cowboys. It only gets worse. The Cowboys had their head coach, owner and offensive coordinator fighting last year over who would call plays. So the head coach gave way to the offensive coordinator. The season collapsed offensively.

They had one of the worst defenses in NFL history after hiring Monte “105-year old” Kiffin as defensive coordinator.

So this year opens and they keep their offensive and defensive coordinators. And their dumbass owner as GM. THEN they hire an offensive “passing game coordinator” … who will now call plays instead of the head coach or the offensive coordinator … but they will not allow the offensive coordinator to interview elsewhere. So the head coach, the offensive coordinator, the passing game coordinator and the owner all want to call plays.

THEN on defense they hired another defensive coach to be the defensive coordinator, but kept Kiffin and “promoted” him to Defense/Assistant Head Coach. So the owner refuses to fire the head coach cuz he doesn’t want to admit he blew that hire, and then keeps hiring more and more coaches to throw at the team like bobo the monkey throwing s&it at the board to prevent taking the blame as the orchestrator of it all.

The Carolina Panthers extended Coach Ron Rivera through 2017? Bad move. They considered firing him this year but he made the playoffs so he gets paid for five. That is ridiculous. Especially if they don’t demand he hire an offensive coordinator with a playbook from at least the ‘90s. Next year they will be saying they can’t fire him because of all the money they still owe him.

Okay, down to the game. I hate the Seahawks in their entirety and I hate Manning so this game is not one of my favorites to watch. That being said, someone has to win.

Offense: Clearly the Broncos have the best offense. The ‘Hawks are scoring-challenged. I hear every week up here in Seattle how Percy “I got a headache, no a tummy ache, no my hip hurts” Harvin will be the X factor. They should call him the IR (injured reserve) factor because they wasted draft picks and money on that guy. So they have NO receivers. Their receivers get no separation. They only look good when QB Wilson is scrambling and they in turn run those playground routes … run to the sycamore tree and then post to the Ford Escort. They are terrible. They have a decent running game, but how good will that be if they can’t throw the ball?

Defense. ‘Hawks have a better defense. Clearly.

Special Teams: Wash. The Hawks have better kick coverage. The Broncos have better kick returns.

Coaching: Broncos. John Fox has lost a Super Bowl. He may be more prone to go for broke when he needs to. Seahawks. Pete Carroll  has turned Russell Wilson into Trent Dilfer, with his thumb in his ass so he can’t throw the ball.

Final Analysis. The ‘Hawks have a great defense. Broncos have a great offense. I don’t think the Hawks can cover ALL those WRs and the back out of the backfield. Even the Broncos’ TE is a WR playing in the TE spot. Peyton Manning can’t play in the cold, but this week, unless the wind is ridiculous, he will find a way. He realizes what he needs to do. He isn’t the same dumbass throwing 45 yards on 3rd and 3 anymore. He has been to two Super Bowls now and this is number three. He won’t play as bad in this one as in others. The ‘Hawks just can’t score enough to win this game. And I hope the 3 TD passes Manning throws are all on Richard Sherman … but I wouldn’t advise it.

Final Score: Broncos 27: Hawks 16.

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Topics: News

— Harold Hartley

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