Page 2: You know you’re a local, if …

So … we were kicking this around the office today, trying to come up with a formula to determine whether or not you qualify as a local.

I figure you start by saying it takes thirty years of permanent residence to become a local, although the following items could mitigate that number.

If you’ve been foreclosed on, you get five years credit.

A hook-up on a Wild Wednesday at the old Whiskey Creek is worth a year.

Having your house burn down is worth five years.

Spending a night at the Bridgeport Hilton is worth a year.

Having children born locally is worth three years.

Marrying someone you met here is worth two years.

Divorcing someone you met here is worth four.

If you can address more than half your local police force by name, that’s worth a year.

If you’ve bought a bed locally (Fendon, Stater, Oaktree, Richards), that’s worth a year.

If you can remember the Village before it was the Village, that’s a year’s credit.

If you’ve torn up your knee, that’s worth two years.

If you’ve been to more than ten local funerals and/or ten local weddings, that’s worth three years.

You had to shutter a local business you owned = three years.

If you’ve been to Keeler or Trona, that’s worth a year.

You’ve seen Rick Wood wearing a mustache = one year.

Rick Wood has represented you = one year.

You once stepped inside Gallerie Barjur = one year.

Your girlfriend left you for your best friend = two years.

You’ve skied the face of June Mountain on a powder day = one year.

You remember the Sierra Center Mall when it was occupied = one year

Etc. I welcome suggestions to add to the list.

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I was amused by an Inyo Register editorial last week which chastised the Inyo County Office of Education for running an advertisement, and thus, spending Inyo County tax dollars on a Mono County-based business (i.e. The Sheet).

Okay, so let me get this straight. The Register and Mammoth Times are owned by a conglomerate based in Illinois. A portion of any dollars spent on those publications, provided those publications do more than break even, is necessarily sent out of state.

Both papers, I would add, are printed out of state (Nevada).

This, according to the Register, is a preferred alternative to advertising in a regional publication (The Sheet) which, as has been established in various public hearings, has 50% greater distribution than the Times (I have no idea what the Register’s circulation is), and distributes more than 20% of those 5,500 (ave.) weekly copies in Inyo County. I’m aware of one location in Bishop (Kmart) where the Times is distributed. I’m unaware of a location in Mono County where the Register is sold. If someone wants to effectively reach readers in both counties, it would seem like we’re it.

Further, the owner of the Mono County-based business currently resides in Inyo County and spends money in both counties every day

The point being … you can do better than whine about someone else taking your business (because they have a better product which better serves the needs of its clientele). Demanding that you should have the business for no better reason than habit and inertia is not a compelling argument.

Second, the divide-and-conquer tactics are yesteryear. We would all be far better served, and would collectively carry far more political clout, with a regional approach. In our business, The Sheet aspires to best serve as much of Mono and Inyo Counties as it can. I don’t check a map every time I hear about a story wondering whether it’s geographically acceptable.

Medical care and air transportation are just two areas which would vastly benefit from a regional approach.

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Finally, regarding Mammoth’s T.O.T. revenue history, some perspective

Year Total:

2006-2007: $9,626,441

2007-2008: $10,667,140

2008-2009: $9,656,710

2009-2010: $10,476,648

2010-2011: $11,209,138

2011-2012: $9,880,538

2012-2013: $11,715,023

2013-2014: $10,335,882

2014-2015: $7,138,456 through January

*In July/August 2006, T.O.T. revenue was $1,351,661. In July/August 2014, $2,439,839, representing an 81% increase over eight years.