Weather forecast: Strong Brees

Anyone feel a strong Brees? Drew Brees could pilot the New Orleans Saints to Super Bowl victory. (Photo courtesy www.hawkfantasysports.wordpress.com)

Folks this is it: the official end of the football season. Though we all know the real season ended when the Steelers lost five games in a row.
I’m sick of hearing about how brilliant Colt QB Peyton Manning is. If you listened to the media, you would think Albert Einstein was Peyton’s stupid little brother. For crying out loud, it is football. He isn’t developing the cure for cancer. He is clearly a great football player, but I keep waiting for an Apple logo to pop up on his forehead and reveal that he is actually a Macbook.
I’m sick of hearing Colt DE Dwight Freeney say he will play with a torn tendon in his ankle. Ridiculous. He says he is using all these creative healing methods and that historically, he’s a fast healer. Unless he is the Predator, he ain’t playing.
I’m sick of hearing how New Orleans is destined to win because a hurricane tore up the town and this will help them heal. You know what will help them heal: some better local government, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Commandos from Predator to clean up the crime in the area and some more tourism. Once this game is over, what monetary value will the city get from it?
I’m sick of hearing that the Colts were here a few years ago, so they’ll win because they have experience and will be more comfortable. They know the hotels and the restaurants. They are more able to adapt to the texture of the sheets in their hotel rooms and get a better night’s sleep. Enough already.

Game breakdown

The Colt QB is Peyton Manning and he is clearly on a different intellectual level than other QBs. He invented the QB position. Saint QB Drew Brees happens to be very good also.
The Colt offensive line is mediocre. The Colt defense is injured: Dwight Freeney as well as their best corner are out. OUCH, especially against a passing team. The Saint defense isn’t great, but creates turnovers. That helps a great deal. They also pressure the QB. Everyone says Manning is immune to pressure, but that is not true. The Jets pressured him in the first half and had him on the ropes. They couldn’t maintain it. That was the problem.
Coaches … neither has coached in the Super Bowl, but Colt Coach Jim Caldwell was there when the Colts won a few years ago.
The Saint running game is average. The Colt running game is terrible.
The Saint special teams are better. I’m not a Reggie Bush fan, but he is very good in the return game and on some special offensive plays. Name the Colts’ return men. Right.
Here is what will make the game: The Saints can rush the passer and create turnovers, the Saints are healthy on offense and the Colts are hurt on defense, the Saints have Reggie Kardashian as the factor back. That is the final nail in the Colts coffin. The Saints will win 30-26.

The rest of the league …

Arizona QB Kurt Warner has retired. Now the Cardinal owners are talking about trying to get money back from him. Why? Because they gave him a 2 year contract for $22 million with $18 million of it up front. So he said to hell with the final $4 million. Now he can retire and take it with him … and they want it back. Idiots. When they gave him the deal, he was pushing 40, talking retirement and recovering from a bad hip. And they feel like they were blindsided? ? HE HAD A BAD HIP. IF THAT ISN’T A SIGN YOU ARE OLD, WHAT THE HELL IS? DID HE NEED TO COME TO THE STADIUM WITH A CANE? DID HE HAVE TO ASK TO LEAVE PRACTICE BY 4 P.M. TO GET THE EARLY BIRD SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNT AT SIZZLER?
Matt Leinart is expected to be the new Card starter and perform well. Funny, he hasn’t gotten any stronger with his arm, still can’t throw an out or a deep in and can’t run.
Jet Coach Rex Ryan. I have been saying all season that he is a joke. A foul-mouthed moron (funny I would say foul-mouthed. I know. Quit laughing. That would be like me calling him a drunk). But Rex, everyone says they love him. That he is a breath of fresh air. You know who’s saying that? The media. Why? ‘Cause he gives them something to talk about every day.
Ryan is the face of the Jet franchise. He is the person responsible for disciplining the team and being the team’s public representative. And he acts like a child. He gets drawn into arguments with players on other teams. And based upon last week, susceptible to getting drawn into all sorts of altercations.
He was spotted at an mixed martial arts fight giving people the finger because someone “provoked him.” How’d the media react? Mutely.
He is a moron. Luck be a lady for only so long. As soon as they go 7-9 and 6-10 they will turn on him and run him out of town.
Viking lineman Bryant McKinnie made the Pro Bowl. Actually, he didn’t really make it. He played terrible this year, but everyone loved Brett Favre and the Vikings and he got a Pro Bowl nod by association.
So he gets to the Pro Bowl. Correction. He gets to Miami. He can’t make it to any meetings. But he parties his ass of and gets kicked off the team. A Pro Bowl team. Where the practices are held with kegs instead of Gatorade and strippers instead of cheerleaders. They have lap dances on the sidelines. And this guy couldn’t be bothered enough to keep a spot on the team. Pitiful. He should be fined by the league and his momma.
Texan QB Matt Schaub is about to get a $10 million roster bonus after the Super Bowl. They shouldn’t write that check. This was his great year. Next year they will rue the day they signed Schaub and the coach to these huge contracts.
Tim Tebow was at the Senior Bowl last week and played like a peewee QB. He ran 4 times for about 4 yards. Those fellas at the Senior Bowl aren’t from Orlando Technical Institute. And he couldn’t throw, got stripped with that Luis Tiant windup he uses. Ugly game for him. Exactly what I expected.
College recruiting classes have been graded. How did your school do? If you know the answer to that you have a problem.
A friend of mine turned 50 this week. Old dude now. Pretty spry for an old white guy though. Groundhog Day is his birthday. He parties a lot, too. I call him Punxsutawney now. If he gets drunk and passes out, 6 more weeks of winter. Don’t know the outcome yet, as we are going out Friday night. Of course, if I get drunk and pass out I won’t know if winter is going to be longer or not. Won’t care either. Why? I live in Western Washington. I already know winter will last 4 more months.
Golf. Is anyone watching without Tiger? John Daly retired on Tuesday, then came back on Wednesday. Hooters must have told him they were going to stop his endorsement checks. Why would he retire? He hasn’t been good in 15 years and doesn’t even need to qualify for anything … the tournaments all give him exemptions to show up.
So this is his job. Show up, play a few rounds, miss the cut, drink some beers with the locals in the parking lot and throw up in the Hooters bathroom.
He gets paid to do this.
Phil Mickelson is using some illegal clubs. Oh, they aren’t illegal. The type of club is illegal, but this particular club he has is grandfathered in. So he is using it. And the other golfers are upset. Funny, the “People’s Choice” needs to use some illegal clubs to win. Oh, he finished 10 strokes off the lead. Maybe the tour guys should let him use the club. Really, the only illegal golf club is the one Tiger’s wife beat his ass with.
Okay, this is nasty. The Holiday Inn hotel chain is going to give the customer another little taste of home. When you stay in their hotel, they are going to have someone come to your room before you go to bed and WARM UP THE BED FOR YOU. The person will wear some kind of sanitary bodysuit and crawl his nasty ass in your bed. Really.