Revis Island is no Alcatraz

by Jack Lunch
in Sports and Outdoors
— 24 Sep, 2010

Sometimes coaches read the press clippings about how smart they are and get full of themselves. Case in point. On Monday night, the Niners have the ball with less than a minute to go. The Saints stop the Niners on first down and the Saints call a timeout. Then on 2nd down the Saints call timeout. Makes sense, right? Problem is it is the FIRST QUARTER WITH A MINUTE LEFT. NOT THE FIRST HALF. The Saints were calling timeouts in the hopes of making the 49ers punt the ball into the wind. HUH?? Sure, they were in San Francisco, but the wind wasn’t gale force. What were they saving, 15 yards in field position?

Then with the Niners driving late in the second quarter, there was a play that was questionable that might have been challenged … had the Saints had any timeouts left. Hilarious.

Select picks for this week

Bengals 14, Panthers 13. Panthers going to rookie QB Jimmy Clausen is a good move. As for the Bengals, QB Carson Palmer is a shell of his former self. And the OchoCinco and T.O. lovefest is close to being over. They can keep telling us how good they are, but scoring 3 points a game doesn’t fool anyone.

Pats 23, Bills 2. Patriot QB Tom Brady is still good enough to pick on the league’s weaklings.

Niners 23, Chiefs 13. The Niners are rounding into shape. I like their lines on both sides of the ball. But they’re young and they still need help at QB and WR. Meanwhile, the Chiefs luck starts fading here.

Giants 23, Titans 13. The Titans are about to self-destruct. QB Kerry Collins goes 0-6 and gets benched … never. Vince Young has three bad quarters against a monster defense and gets benched in the second game of the season. Coaches lose teams over s$%t like this. Jeff Fisher is not immune.

Ravens 13, Browns 0. The Ravens will be pissed off after last week, where they got robbed on two calls. Maybe the calls wouldn’t have made a difference if QB Joe Flaccid hadn’t thrown four picks.

Vikings 20, Lions 17. I so want to pick the Lions. If the Lions had ANY defensive backs …

Cowboys 23, Texans 21. I think the Texans are better right now, but I don’t see them at 3-0 and the ‘Boys at 0-3. Besides, the Redskins?!? threw for over 400 yards against Houston last week.

Eagles 24, Jags 13. The Jags are ugly. They have been ugly since 2003. A gallon of Everclear wouldn’t help. How their coach keeps surviving year after year is beyond me. The Eagles are finally making the right move by starting Michael Vick. The Kevin Kolb experiment is over already? And he was going to make the team better than McNabb?

Cards 4, Raiders 3. Raider QB Jason Campbell has been benched already. I thought he would be good in Oakland. It must be impossible to be good there while that Elvis-jumpsuit-wearing Lemony Snicket owner is still alive.

Chargers 23, ‘Hawks 10. After week one, Pete Carroll was the second coming of Bill Walsh. After week two …

Packers 33, Bears 20. The Pack will light them up this week. Bear QB Jay Cutler throws three picks.

Short takes

Jet Coach Rex Ryan came out and chastised WR Braylon Edwards (arrested on a DUI this week) for his terrible behavior. This is the same head coach who flipped off the fans in an NFL stadium, the same Rex Ryan that flipped off the fans at a wrestling event, the same coach getting blasted by everyone (except the media, because he keeps giving them great sound bites) for being a rude, crude, immature moron. Yeah, his criticism of Edwards will go a long way.

As for Edwards, how stupid is he? He is already on probation for a previous transgression. Oh well, this one is different. Here is the real problem with this jackass. His employer has a team designated driver. If you call them, they will come get you … anytime, anyplace and anonymously (we know that probably isn’t true. If you call them every day, they are probably going to turn you in). If I were a Jet, they wouldn’t be mad at me for not calling. They would be pissed at all the miles I’d put on the team car.

But the worst part is this: Braylon Edwards was hanging out with Donte Stallworth the night Stallworth got drunk and killed someone while driving. He eventually spent a year in prison. This apparently had no influence on Edwards. HE IS A PERFECT FIT FOR THIS NEW YORK JETS TEAM.

And another thing. Getting arrested is one thing, but even worse, he walks out of the jail with that ghetto troll beard on his face. That just makes him look like a bigger jackass. As soon as he got arrested he should have asked for a razor, a hacksaw, a jigsaw or some nail clippers and cut off that ugly thing. Clean yourself up, dumbass.

After hearing all the hype about Revis Island during the offseason, it was ironic to see Jets CB Darrelle Revis pull his hammy while getting burned for a TD by Randy Moss. A pulled hammy for a cornerback is like a pulled liver for an alcoholic. BAD NEWS. It’ll haunt him for weeks.

Vincent Jackson. Why does this jackass think he can hold out for a bigger contract the very year he gets his 19th DUI and is suspended for 4 games? Talk about poor timing. He doesn’t deserve a new contract. Sure, he’s good, but not that good. He is just the best of a bunch of mediocre Charger receivers.

Without Chester Taylor, Viking RB Adrian Peterson isn’t going to survive 12 games. With Favre not playing well, they have to run Peterson to death. And that is what is going to happen.

Steeler Safety Troy Polamalu should be the NFL MVP. Look at that defense with him versus without him.

College Football. Boise State beats Va. Tech a few weeks back and they are hyped as being as good as advertised. Until a few more games get played and it becomes obvious Va. Tech is lousy this year.

Finally, riddle me this. How can the experts say the INTs aren’t Brett Favre’s fault. I heard someone on TV say, “Favre throws the ball up. Last year Sidney Rice would have gone up over these TWO GUYS and make a play, Bernard Berrian doesn’t do that for him.”

So making a bad decision and throwing into double coverage is a good idea so long as your receiver bails you out.