Banned from June Mountain
Wolf making a shameless pitch for a commutation of his sentence.
It is now a sad reality in my life that I have a “file” over at June Mountain.
My confession begins with my first offense dating back to last spring when I had some friends visiting from Michigan and Florida. Like any decent Mammoth host with guests from out of state, I assumed it would be an appropriate gesture to drive them up scenic U.S. 395 for a leisurely day at June.
Everything was going well until we went in for lunch and I made the mistake of buying one of my friends a slice of pizza using my Mammoth Mountain Ski Area (MMSA) employee discount. Little did I know, there was a full-blown culinary stakeout in progress. “Did you pay for that slice of pizza?” asked a June employee oddly appearing from behind a wooden post. “Yes,” I said. “And did your friend just take a bite out of it?!” We locked eyes for a moment. “Yes.” But it was too late. As soon as I admitted to what would later be called “PizzaGate,” I simultaneously realized that I was about to be posterized.
This was a lapse of judgment on my behalf. You see, as soon as my friend took a bite of that forbidden slice, the June employee scouting from the other side of the room knew he was dealing with some illegal pizza. That kind of pizza cannot be tolerated. Consequently, I got rolled on as if I’d been busted selling crack.
After being chewed out for 15 minutes on why you can’t use your discounts for anyone but yourself, I apologized and said that I wouldn’t do it again. I figured, hey, no problem. I honestly didn’t think it was a big deal. That is, until I found out that said employee e-mailed my boss at Mammoth, complete with a cc to MMSA Vice President Jack Copeland, detailing my sordid life as a discount pizza abuser.
Now, you might be thinking that act would chap my ass. No, not at all. What chapped it really good, however, was the fact that I saw that same June employee just a couple weeks ago buying a bunch of his friends lunch with his employee pass. “Wow, blankity-blank, sure is nice for buying all of us this nice spread.” Those painful words were actually used. You can imagine my Macaulay Culkin face as I stood in the checkout line witnessing this injustice.
Okay, so that’s that. Wait, no. Come on! Who has honestly never abused this ambiguous policy? Can you look yourself in the mirror and say you’ve never used your pass to, let’s say, buy a round of beers for your buddies at Tusks? Or never shared a Super Burrito (which, by the way, if you’ve ever actually finished one, you deserve a reality show)? Or I guess you’ve never innocently pinched a french fry off your pal’s plate? Erroneous! If you truly are innocent of any of these examples, then my hat’s off to you because you deserve a year’s worth of Black Diamond awards … and a seat at the World Poker Tour Championships.
Okay, onto the next confession…
A week ago, one of my friends got his pass pulled at June Mountain during President’s weekend. “It was so dumb,” he said with a half smile. “I got caught ducking a rope.” Feeling slightly embarrassed, since my story is actually pretty lame in comparison, I sheepishly confessed that I too got my pass pulled on that same day. “Oh, man that’s harsh. I got mine pulled for arguing with a lifty.” Note: I can tell you with the utmost sincerity, you can NEVER win an argument with a lifty.
That Saturday morning, every ski hill across the country was slammed, and June Mountain was no exception. To say that there was a decent-sized line for the J1 chairlift is like saying former NBA star Shawn Kemp has a handful of illegitimate kids. The line looked like the Persian army in the movie “300.” It coiled down the stairs, through the parking lot and literally spewed out into the road.
So, like every other genius trying to avoid holiday Mammoth crowds, there I was, waiting in the biggest lift line I‘ve ever stood in. After about 45 minutes of being unfazed by boredom, I eventually made it to the actual rope queue. A lifty comes up and scans my pass, along with the passes of my athletes (I was punched in and working for Mammoth that day). I could hear his iPod playing through his jacket as he sang out loud. I honestly couldn’t tell you if it was some Eminem or ICP, but whatever it was, it was straight-up weird.
As he weaved through the crowd scanning tickets, he rapped to the guests (I’ll let you fill in the blanks), “I rape you in the blank, mother blankin’ blank.” It goes on like that for awhile. However, I didn’t let that get to me … or the guy smoking a cigarette in line just a few people ahead. Instead, I immediately went from athletic coach to life coach as I explained to my athletes that unfortunately, people that enjoy that kind of music and act like that in public, will eventually take over the planet a la “Idiocracy.” We’re all screwed.
After getting to the top and having a lengthy debate on strategic-crowd skiing, we decided to take a lap back down the face. On the surface this would seem like a bad idea considering the lengthy lift line, but I had an awesome plan. You see, back down at the bottom, the lifties opted out of setting up a single’s line. This decision made no sense to me, given that half empty and fully blown vacant chairs were being neglected (again, as the biggest line ever created by man or beast lurked in the parking lot).
When we got to the bottom, I told my athletes to yell out for any singles, fill up the chairs and then eventually we would all meet up at the top. We executed this plan for a couple runs and the lifties didn’t seem to care. After all, they were letting their friends jump in line, too.
For a scenario lacking a single’s line, it was a pretty balanced system. But maybe that’s where I went wrong.
After a few spins, I hear, “Hey! You have to go to the end of the line!” I turn around only to spot a lifty I hadn’t noticed all morning. I said to him, “Oh, we’ve already waited in the line, we’re just filling in the empty seats.” He snapped back, with zero patience, “You have to go to the end of line. Don’t give me any sh*t about it.” Shocked, I replied, “I‘m not, I’m just saying if you‘re not going to have a singles line then you should at least have someone making sure the chairs get filled.” Now, visibly more annoyed, he barks, “Listen, if you don’t like the way we do things here at June, then go back to Mammoth.” Obviously not wanting to go back to Mammoth, I decided it was best to walk to the end of the gargantuan line.
After 30 minutes we eventually make it back to the rope queue. I glanced up at the chairlift and, sure enough, a half-empty chair was going up, followed by a completely empty chair. It was getting ridiculous, and I wasn’t the only one who noticed. We watched as another friend of the lifty cuts in line. Murmurs begin to spread. Over the span of the morning the line had morphed from a queue of happily anxious paying customers to a line of embittered paying protesters. I figured I needed to say something, employee to employee.
Now if I had the ability to travel back in time and stop myself from opening my big, fat, stupid mouth, I totally would have. Because this is what came out of my big, fat, stupid mouth: “Hey man, I thought you were going to have someone filling these chairs. People are getting pissed.” Standing 20 feet away from the lift line and clowning around with a buddy, he looks over at me. They both walk over.
“Don’t tell me how to do my job,” he shot back. I look around, “Wait. What job? You’re not doing anything, and there’s a huge line out to the road. Come on, it’s President’s weekend! I’m just asking that the chairs get filled.” Now he’s pissed. “Okay, let me see your pass.”
It’s funny, as soon as he said those words, something deep inside told me not to take it out. I really needed a moment to think. This would have been an awesome time to be in one of those Twix commercials. “Eh, why do you want to see my pass?” I asked. “I wanna know if you have one.” My deep down voice reemerges, “He knows you have one. Don’t take it out!”
And just like that, for some dumb reason I listened to his Jedi-lifty jargon and pulled out my pass. Right away he snatched it out of my hand. “Go on without me!” I shout to my athletes, “Find the other coaches!” They look back at me with steely eyes, one of them stoically gives the ceremonial fist bump to the chest. They’re damned good kids.
The lifty then tells me to step out of line. He takes my pass into the little booth at the bottom and hops on the phone. After a long wait he comes back. “Are we done here? I have to get back to work,” I ask. “Well you’re done for the day.” I’m confused. “Hah. Come on, seriously, I need my pass back.”
This is precisely the moment when I came to the full realization I wasn’t getting my pass back. “Listen, we can argue about this all day. But what’s worse, me complaining about you not doing your job, or you not doing your job?”
Yeah, that didn’t help. It was over. My pass was gone.
I spent the rest of the day sitting in the parking lot waiting for a ride home. I thought, maybe I just caught this guy on a bad day? Or maybe he’s just an asshole? He must be good at his job, or maybe he is at least some of the time? He did say to me when we were arguing that he’s been doing this for 18 years. I suppose I shouldn’t have said, “You’ve been a lifty for 18 years?”
That was almost two weeks ago. I’m still not allowed back.
So I now have two strikes on file and let me tell you that being blacklisted really sucks. It’s strange, being a typical Mammoth local I always figured I would be banned from something that made more sense … a bar or lounge, for instance.
Not in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be exiled from a place I love and cherish. It’s just a bummer that I got banned because of a blemish on my record that can only be written up as “illegal pizza consumption” and a complaint about blatantly bad line management.
Next time I’ll keep my big, fat, stupid mouth shut … and with my own pizza in it.
Ah well, don’t let it get you down. Not a ton of overly ambitious brainiacs have a life goal of living and working in a backwater whose only industry is tourism. There’s more than one reason people flee the big city for refuge in Smallsville USA and whatever the most common one is, it is not innate excellence or a surfeit of success. From DAs to cops to lifties, mediocrities can get a little power in a small fishbowl and put on the comical Big Man act.
Let Wolf back! Let Wolf back! If he mis-uses his employee discount again, thats his final strike. As for un-filled chairs over a holiday, c’mon…I believe the GM (C. Williams) is from back east and knows what a long line waiting for an icy run feels like, don’t let it happen at June of all places.
June is a great place but with it equipment being of Kosovoian comparison, J1 line management is essential. The lifties are a too cool for school there but it’s not thier fault, its a lack of training, hold managers accountable. Its not all bad though, the staff in the lower ticket office is great, and Baird answers the phone in admin everytime to perfection! Long live June, let’s make it better and not let it get shut down.
Hey bi-Curious;
And what is Mammoth depended on? Most of us move here to hike, fish, photograph nature, watch the seasons change,watch nature without going to a zoo,explore,learn and live a little history…..its all right, were here and your not, like most a=holes from down south that come and give us their bux…you wish you lived here.
Enjoy your view of your neighbors bathroom!
Ill enjoy my view of 3[!] lakes.
Sea World seems more like your speed
So Colin, you weren’t riding the fresh powder at June on Feb 25th? Exactly 6 days after this incident. Why are you telling people you are banned and exiled? Stop crying.
A very wise Assistant Director of Ski Patrol once told me (when Kandi banned me from June) that this was considered a “Get Out of June Free Card.”
Confession? I think your admiting is it more like a trophy!
I’m wondering if Mr. Wolf, since he was with athletes, was in uniform while “teaching” his students to be disrespectful. That is just plain wrong!
You, Mr. Wolf, knew it was busy and there may have been some problems with filling chairs…Why the Hell would you go back down there, if not to harass and provoke the employees, and cause further congestion? The goal is to get out of there, once and for all, to enjoy the day – not go back to prove your point, or that you are an asshole. (I’m leaning towards the latter)
Yeah, there are a lot of things that should be different but it is not your job to make it so. Do it the proper way, through the proper channels.
I was once a lifty, years ago – they are the front line – you can’t imagine what a lifty has to go through – mostly dealing with people like you and/or worse…EVERY DAY! Not a whole lot of fun when everyone you meet is complaining about something. To have a fellow employee give you a hassle or verbal barrage is demoralizing, at best. So much for “Teamwork”.
I also think that “ipod lifty” should lose his position, also. If that really happened, he should go – but do not throw other people under the bus because you got your pass pulled for being argumenatative with a fellow employee.
Nut up, Wolf and take it like a man.
let see…freshies….Mammoth-tracked, out in hours….June……4,5 maybe even a wk if it stays cold and the mammys dont come over and ruin it.
tell you what- you stay there we stay here.
‘those who know dont tell, those who tell dont know’
One more thought – a confession without apology is worthless.
Collin go eat pizza and bitxh somewhere else
Several years ago I made a decision to stop supporting businesses (MMSA & June Mountain) with horrific customer service. No more lunches at the resort, no more hot drins when its cold, no more apres’ ski at the Yoddler, Tusk or the Mill. I save over $3000 per season by speaking with my wallet and rejecting 3rd world service.
@Not An Asshole
So yeah, I have to admit that I have been back to June since this unfortunate incident. However I’m still banned. So to be a good Samaritan and play by the rules, I bought a lift ticket for myself and my girlfriend on that glorious pow day(Oh and some lunch). That’s how much I love June Mt. Viva la June!
You can’t be banned from June. There is no way to shut off a pass for June Mountain only. It’s either completely off or completely on. I was also the one that personally scanned your PASS on the 26th. You’re lying about the ticket so you can keep trying to make people feel sorry for you. I’ll just go back to my previous comment. STOP CRYING!
I can only wonder if this piece came about, in-part , by the fact that: out all the MMSA employees whom abuse their employee discount, Mr. Wolf is one of the few whom is thick enough to get caught. Between that and his line-cutting, loud-mouthed antics, he seems to be in the running for Charlie Sheen’s “Winning!!!” award (second only to the Darwin award). However, what I would really like to know is: who is the genius at MMSA responsible for putting this winner in charge of coaching our own little athletes? Is this the kind of guidance I am paying for?
Mammoth and June lift employees just need to scan tickets and shut there mouths, they all think they are important and that there jobs are what makes the mountain run better when all they do is slow the process of getting on a chair and having fun. You hold the lowest position on the mountain which requires you to point and scan for $8.00 dollars a hour and some how you screw that up. I don’t need you to tell me my jacket is cool or you like my board, I already forgot who you are when i got on the chair!
So my confusion begins….with this story being so full of holes and needless whinging….
Let’s begin where Wolf does with the Pizza Debacle. As a mammoth employee you know the deal with the pass and food privileges we have, and yes it’s a privilege not a right! Yet you fail to be able to see the difference between a friend finishing off a super burrito or sneaking a couple of french fries off your plate, versus purposefully abusing the system and buying a meal specifically for someone else. And who could it be who was the manager that pulled you up on it, doesn’t take much in the way of guess work as June is a pretty small place, and don’t managers routinely buy food for guests, employees and clients as they see fit. Isn’t that is part of their role in management and isn’t it up to them who they might decide to comp whether it’s with food, lift tickets or anything else for that matter. It doesn’t give every employee the right to buy stuff at discount for every Joe that they bring to the mountain.
As for the lift line your decision making, however lengthy the discussion at the top, must have included the fact you could see the line. That day the length of the line, which while normally longer than usual as it was Saturday of Presidents weekend, was exacerbated by the need for avalanche control work and the lift not opening at the usual time. So you looked down and decided it didn’t matter to you, you’ll find a way and excuses to cut, screw the other guests, you’re here to avoid the crowds and ski the face, right?
So all I see happening from here on in is lifties instead of being up front filling chairs stuck trying to police a bunch of kids and their coach cutting in line and stirring up the crowd, good job Wolf, you should have stayed in Mammoth. I’m sure between Chairs 10 and 2 at the Mill, 16 at Canyon, and the Gondola or Chair 1 at main you could have found other lifties lives to make more difficult that day. But of course since there are never lines or line management issues at Mammoth why would you pick the busiest day of the season to come Mammoth June?
Ok, here we go.
1st off, mr “craig hates lifties”, if you think lifties go to their jobs everyday thinking that they are what make june and mammoth some of the best mountains in the world you are retarded. lifties do it for the ability to ride world class terrain every single day. and because of this, they might even have the nerve to come off as being happy and enthusiastic, if not to make the guests have a more enjoyable experience then its because they love being able to work outside with amazing views and even better snowboarding and skiing. so craig, go take the sand that you have backed up in your vagina and brush it off somewhere else because nobody wants to here your sorry ass bitch at people who are living and loving life.
2ndy, Mr. wolf, you told possibly the most altered and lopsided version of this story anyone can conjure up. you fucked up. admit when your wrong and move on. that “lifty” that you said had been around for 18 years wasn’t a lifty. he runs the liftys. he is one of the higher ups at june, so to give lip to anybody with real power at a mountain is fucking retarded, especially if you are employed by them. furthermore, what really happened was you were the one that was power tripping and thought that just because you work at mammoth you would be able to cut the line, and when you were stopped from cutting in front of a few hundred paying guests, you had the audacity to bitch about it?! and if you really felt that you were trying to do everybody justice by filling “half empty chairs” (which, by the way, was only a 2 seat chair lift) then you would have yelled out to the rest of the line for singles to fill in the empty spaces. this is because there were hundreds of “singles” that were paying customers that should have been ahead of you.
so to both of you, take your onesided bullshit elsewhere and get over your selves
Thanks,
Truth Teller