Page 2: Let’s talk about sex
I know, I know. You want to talk about sex. The more tawdry the better. So I bring you … www.spreadingsantorum.com.
According to MotherJones.com, Rick Santorum has an anal sex problem. In 2003, the then-Senator from Pennsylvania compared homosexuality to bestiality and pedophilia, saying the defintion of marriage has never included “man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.”
According to Mother Jones, the ensuing controversy prompted syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage, who’s gay, to start a contest, soliciting reader suggestions for slang terms to memorialize Santorum’s words.
The winner of the contest came up with the following definition of the word Santorum: “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” Savage launched the website, www.spreadingsantorum.com, which opens with this definition before delving into Santorum’s comings and goings.
Even though mainstream news outlets would never link to it, Savage’s site rose in the Google rankings, thanks in part to bloggers who posted Santorum-related news on the site or linked to it from their blogs. Today, Santorum doesn’t have much hope for getting rid of it. According to search engine experts, Savage’s site has been up for so long – with more than 13,000 inbound links, compared with only 5,000 for Santorum’s own site – that it’s always going to remain one of the top search choices.
As one might imagine, all politicians live in mortal fear of getting branded in such a way. I mean, imagine if you had a name which was conducive to this sort of sabotage, like say, Rick Wood.
Meanwhile, my mother, a New Hampshire resident, says she will vote for Huntsman on Tuesday because he talks about the economy as opposed to social issues.
Lunch, where to begin? To start, quoting Mother Jones is something rarely done outside of the left wing fever swamps and North Korea. And the only actual direct quote from Santorum in your report – that the definition of marriage has never included “man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be” – is about as unremarkable as saying the sun will rise in the east in the morning. Simply a fact that the historical definition of marriage pretty much universally conforms to Santorum’s quite accurate protrayal of it, even though you may not like it.
The only remarkable part of this report – other than the injudicious blunder of citing Mother Jones as authority, thereby tanking any hope of credible persuasion – was the disgusting tone of the anti-Santorum muck which you so kindly published. The vulgarity and hatred dripping from it should give pause to any thinking man or woman. And for that, Lunch, we owe you thanks.
I am completely appalled at the fact that this appeared on the second page of The Sheet this week. I have always been a fan but now fear any child I know reading the local paper. If this is truly the best opinion article you could come up with in this week’s paper then perhaps you should take a look again at the local news surrounding Mammoth at this time. Seriously, this is tasteless and you should be ashamed of writing such an article. Save this “humor” for lunch with your “boys.” Or don’t. This female resident of Mono County will no longer be reading The Sheet.