Here we go, folks …
Chargers 16, Chiefs 9. The Chiefs have NOTHING. They bring in Brady Quinn to replace that bum Matt Cassel and Quinn gets a concussion the first game. I think he put a bounty on himself when he realized how bad that team is. And the Chargers … wow. Every year we hear about how loaded with talent this team is. EVERY YEAR! But with QB Phillip Rivers in the midst of another terrible season, now all the experts are blaming the GM and the talent level on the team? Haven’t I been saying for years there is not talent on this team??
Broncos 27, Bengals 19. Where are all the Andy Dalton lovers? He hasn’t played worth a damn this year, but no one is saying anything. All the banging is on QB Cam Newton in his second year, but Dalton has AJ Green, who everyone loves as a WR, and Cam has no one and no one is dogging Dalton. The Bengals have lost 3 in a row, no Dalton banging at all. Disappointing. Where is the analyst that said the Bengals were one of the best teams in the league a few weeks ago? Hilarious.
Ravens 16, Browns 13. I would pick the Browns, but it seems the Ravens have had 8 weeks to prepare for this game. Nothing to see here, people, let’s move along …
Packers 34, Cardinals 13. I hear Paul Simon singing, “Slip sliding away, slip sliding away.” Flashback to Week 4 and 5 and everyone said, “Yes, they are for real.” Then week 6 hit. Reality set in. The Cards went from 4-0 to 4-4 in a hurry. Wow. Saw that one coming. Coach Ken Whisenhunt went from genius to hot seat so fast I bet he is dizzy.
Texans 23, Bills 20. The Bills are struggling. Ryan Fitzpatrick is still playing like Fitzpatrick. Their defense is an abomination. They paid Mario Williams a ton of money to basically eat hot wings and walk around the field or the training room.
Colts 17, Dolphins 16. These two teams are being talked about as playoff teams now. Not because they are good, but because there are average and below average teams right now.
Lions 27, Jags 13. The Jags should trade for Tebow. Not because I think he is worth it, but that is how little I believe in Blaine YabbaDabba Gabbert. Gabbert, we can all agree now, is a bum, and abject disaster as a draft choice and NFL quarterback. The Jags basically took their draft pick that year and choked on it. What a waste.
Bears 23, Titans 10. I have lost my patience. Jay Cutler is KILLING ME IN FANTASY. I had to use him this last week ‘cause Fitzpatrick had a bye and Cutler bombed me again. He’s playing poorly and if their defense wasn’t bailing them out, everyone should be dogging his ass. But right now he, with poor mechanics and horrible numbers, is escaping criticism. He is completing 58% of his passes and has 9 TD and 8 INTs right now. His numbers are NO BETTER than Newton’s and he has Brandon Marshall, Matt Forte, Michael Bush and Devin Hester to throw the ball to or hand off to. Newton has Marvin Pitt, Ted Carleton and Loren “don’t call me Mark” Brown at WR and RB. But this week I picked up Josh Freeman, and that is a reach, just to get me to the playoff stretch. I cannot trust Cutler.
Redskins 24, Panthers 16. The Panthers I am too tired to bash. This will be an interesting game. Redskins at home. have said all year that Mike Shanahan at coach in Washington is a nightmare. First of all, a couple of egomaniacs with control of an organization that will eventually flame out. Everyone talks about what they have done there, but right now they have ONE WEAPON in RG3 and a bunch of players that aren’t worth a bag of nickels. RG3 right now is carrying that miserable team. There is a void in talent on that team and Shanahan’s history at drafting WRs is a disaster. You dog a ROOKIE QB for running, but an NFL COACH with 30 years experience coaching can escape criticism for A LIFETIME OF BAD DECISIONS. It makes me absolutely crazy.
Buccaneers 25, Raiders 20. I heard some talking head on TV say that the Raiders are glad to have a franchise QB in Carson Palmer and I almost spit up my bourbon. I pulled up Palmer’s stats. I already know what to expect because I have been watching this bum for years as a Steeler fan. I have always enjoyed when he played the Steelers — he is guaranteed to throw 2 or 3 picks against the Steelers and one is going back. I could tell you before even pulling his stats he had 2 or 3 great years and everyone is remembering those years and projecting them over his entire career and that is not correct. Take a look at this bum’s stats:
Year TD INT Completion %
2004 18 18 61
2005 32 12 68
2006 28 13 62
2007 26 20 65
2008 3 4 58
2009 21 13 61
2010 26 20 62
2011 13 16 61
2012 9 5 60
How are those stats ELITE? Eli Manning has 2 Super Bowl victories, got that, but how this moron can be considered elite based on mythical great statistics is irritating to me. Lazy experts remembering that ONE season he had in 2005 makes me wonder how the networks can employ these idiots. And they NEVER made it to an AFC Championship game with him at QB and they eventually blamed Chad Ochocinco, Tyrell Owens, Marvin Lewis and the offensive coordinators. And I didn’t have time to look at how many Pick 6s he threw — more than anyone in the league in the last 8 years. Seriously, think of a Palmer highlight and how many times you have seen him throw a pick 6. It is dumbfounding.
Viking 13, Seahawks 16. I don’t like either of these teams as a whole. The Hawks’ D is interesting sometimes, but I’m still waiting for the officials to call pass interference against them. It’s looking like they will get away with it until maybe a playoff game, and then will get flagged repeatedly, and blame the officials for losing the game for them again. Love Russell Wilson but still think he has ZERO talent around him offensively. And you Viking-loving experts: where is the team now?
Steve Wyche, NFL network, said this week, “The Raiders should be considered a contender this week if they win and QB Carson Palmer is playing very well.” You have got to be kidding me. He went on TV and said that. What a dumbass. I am going to give you names of these dumbass so-called experts, pundits and talking heads. Promise you that. The NFL Network is losing credibility.
Do the Saints practice defense or does the offense run drills while the defense eats pork rinds and watches? They keep Warren Sapp, who I think is one of the absolute worst analysts and people in sports, period. And now they have Darrin Sharper, and gave him his own segment. He talks like he is uncomfortable and knows he shouldn’t be on TV.
The coaches show with Brian Billick and Dennis Green? Man, can they get a coach that has retired and not been fired from every job he had and can’t get another one. They are losing credibility. It’s horrible. I thought they had to go through training to get ready? Did he get evaluated? He is stuttering and stammering, just clueless. And every one of these idiots when they are stammering and stuttering tried to make some kind of joke, that they are the only ones laughing at, to throw you off. Oh my god. Horrible. And that little cartoon character Andrew Siciliano … he’s a hobbit, no a Golem. When I see him and his ears I keep waiting for him to say he wants “the precious.”
Steelers 25, Giants 19. The Giants play terrible at home. The only thing that bothers me about this game is the whole “recovery from the natural disaster” thing and the Giants rallying for the city. But I think the Steelers’ short passing game and running hard at the middle will be enough to overcome the Giants defense. Todd Haley has done a pretty good job of changing things there. I don’t like Haley, but gotta give him credit for bringing that offense along very nicely. And I don’t hear all the bitching about the Steelers line and sacks right now. Smart attacks with the short passes and hard runs. IF QB Ben Roethlisberger could eliminate that one “what was he thinking throw and sack-fumble’’ from every game, he could have a tremendous season. And the Steelers OLD defense as everyone keeps claiming keeps rolling along. With Ziggy Hood, Cam “Ironhead’s son” Heyward, Keenan Lewis and Ryan Mundy all getting playing time an getting better in that defense, they are getting better by the week.
Oh, the Steelers uniforms … I love everything Steelers, except Roethlisberger. But those uniforms the team wore last week, wow, those are bad. And they had the socks to match the 1930 chain gang jerseys. They call them throwback jerseys. Yes, they should throw them back. I call them throw up uniforms. Ugly.
Cowboys 23- Falcons 20. The Cowboys find new ways to lose. It sounds like an old tired saying, but their act is old and tiring. I keep beating this one up, but Dez Bryant will NEVER be the player they want him to be. He is a mental midget. And Cowboys “head coach” Jason Garrett needs an offensive coordinator. He is a disaster. He cannot do both jobs. During last week’s game he was calling the officials over to argue a call. They aren’t going to reverse the call and they already have the clock running and he is still calling them over. All of a sudden he stops, probably because someone is yelling in his headset that they need to call a play, and looks at his little crayon-covered play chart and tries to call a hurried play. They are a mess and he is a huge part of the problem. He is a mini-Jerry Jones and his ego and lack of preparation and planning is killing that team as much as his owner/GM is. That said, they can score enough to keep up with the Falcons, and the Falcons aren’t going undefeated. This could be the week.
Saints 30, Eagles 17. The Eagles openly talk about being a “dynasty” and how they are a “dream team” whenever anyone would put a microphone in front of them. And the whole team is a disaster now. Andy Reid wanted and got more control over personnel moves. Then he brought in QB Michael Vick. And defying all logic, he signed that idiot Desean Jackson to a long-term deal even after he openly quit on the team every game he could and acted like a child. He drafted all these little defensive players and put together this “dream team” of nightmare character players, and is still holding weekly press conferences as a head coach in the NFL. The Eagles ownership and front office is a mess as well. If you want to know why teams don’t win, take a look at how they handle their business. When the players and the GM and the owner are always on TV talking trash, you are observing a losing team. And when as a coach, you validate their ridiculous statements about being a dream team or a dynasty, then my friend you are part of the problem. You have stroked your own ego because you want to believe you have assembled that kind of talent.
Patrick Peterson is a safety. I said it when the Cardinals drafted him and I am saying it now. He is a safety. Teams are torching him now because they know it too. The Cards should move him to safety so he can be All Pro.
Romeo Crennel looks like Aunt Jemima’s husband, Uncle Jemima, or he looks like Mr. Butterworth. Every time I see him I feel like I am looking at a clown. Makes me laugh my ass off.
Why do the Saints and their fans and the analysts keep saying the Saints will be okay when Joe Vitt gets back? Is Vitt PLAYING defense? They have no defense. NONE. And bringing back Vitt isn’t going to help that unless he is implementing another bounty program. Vitt himself even protected his own ass upon return by saying “I don’t have any magic dust to throw over this defense”. Hilarious. He just buried whoever assembled the talent, and protected himself. And WHO IS JOE VITT ANYWAY? Why is he so arrogant and cocky? And don’t give me all this about how respected and great he is, because he has NEVER been given a head coaching job and his defenses are not heralded as great defenses. Who is he? The Saints will still suck with Vitt. All of you waiting for a magical surge by that terrible defense, because Vitt is standing on the sidelines, are making me laugh my ass off.
I am watching how people are now praising Alex Smith and Randy Moss. They just said “watch out NFL” after Moss showed “explosion” on a short pass where a person missed a tackle and scored a TD. I think it was Moss’ third catch of the year … and first TD … and “watch out.” Last week they were killing Smith for being average.
New segment: Are You Smarter Than a Bourbon-Swilling Bank Manager? If you, as an NFL player, coach, GM or owner can answer YES to any of the questions below, then you ARE NOT:
1. Do you think that, when your team is down by 14 points in the first half, you cannot run the ball anymore and have to pass to win? (Eagles)
2. Do you as an owner show up on TV more than the local news anchor? (Jerry Jones_
3. Do you allow your players to talk trash on TV, even the ones that don‘t play, such as Aaron Maybin? (Budd… mean Rob … I mean Rex Ryan)
4. Do you think a 55-yard FG at the end of regulation is a GIMME? (Most NFL coaches)
5. Do you allow your coach to allow your players to talk trash on TV? (Jets GM Mike TannenBUM)
6. Do you think a Pick 6 counts as a TD pass on YOUR stats (Carson Palmer)
7. Do you have Romeo Crennel as head coach? Or Brady Quinn as QB.
8. Do you think when you have a GREAT defense you should actually prevent your offense from scoring more than 20 points per game? (Brian Billick, John Gruden, Jeff Fisher, Lovie Smith, Pittsburgh Steelers for the last 30 years)
9. You own season tickets for the: Browns, Chiefs, Jags, Bills, Chargers, Jets, Raiders, Eagles, Cowboys, Royals, Pirates, Mariners
10. Do you allow your GM to allow your coach to allow your players to talk trash on TV (Jets Owner “Cantget”WOODy Johnson)