Charlie Batch versus the Ravens
Raiders 20, Broncos 33. No one will care. Here is a question for you. Why in the world is Terrelle Prior sitting on the Raiders bench with the lack of talent the Raiders are putting on the field. Porter is dynamic, albeit a moron, and for him to be sitting on the bench with that much talent while they run Marcel Reese and Carson Palmer out as their playmakers is hilarious. It is as if Al Davis and is running the team in an Elvis jumpsuit and shades from his rhinestone-studded casket.
Cowboys 26- Bengals 23. The Dallas Cowboys are funny. When they win they are GREAT, when they lose they are HORRIBLE and everyone blames QB Tony Romo, including the media of course. Romo is behind an offensive line that is very offensive. They are terrible. They have a guy named Doug Free, who they need to set FREE. Every time I watch a Cowboys game, he gets at least 2 or 3 holding and false start calls. That guy is a mess. And the coaching staff and offensive staff haven’t a clue. Why after all that do I pick them over the Bengals? Cuz I am sick to death of hearing about the Bengals right now. This is the same thing that happened last year. The Bengals have won 4 straight games. They beat the Giants. Good win. They beat the Chiefs, Raiders and Chargers. A murderer’s row of talent? Wow. The defense gave up 6, 10 and 13 points … against the Chiefs, Raiders and Chargers. Wow. But they gave up 44 to the Ravens, 27 to Cleveland, 31 to the Redskins, 34 to the Browns and 31 to the Broncos. So their next 4 games they have Steelers, Cowboys and Ravens and Eagles. They will lose 3 of those 4. Just like last year. Feasting on bums.
Bills 27, Rams 13. This is one of those basically meaningless games, but the league has to finish the schedule. The Rams, well, they SUCK. Coach Jeff Fisher sucks. I have never seen a coach, since Bill Cowher retired, who is so happy to kick a 60-yard FG. I told you when the season started Fisher would make this team MEDIOCRE and that is what you got. They play tough defense — sometimes — and run an offensive philosophy designed to operate between their 20-yard line and the other team’s 35-yard line. As soon as the Rams cross the 50-yard line Fisher goes into prevent offense and tells the kicker to warm up. It’s absolutely impossible to watch. Unless he has a defense that becomes elite he will not win a damned thing. They have only scored more than 20 points 5 times in 13 games and in a couple of those the defense scored twice. They are abysmal. Sam Bradford is getting another year without criticism to just be horrible. But Cam Newton has a GREAT year, then a bad year, and everyone is dogging him and talking about whether or not the Panthers should consider him the QB of the future. But Bradford, he gets no criticism. Wow. Dig in Rams fans, ‘cause you will be mediocre as long as Fisher wanders the sidelines with that awful moustache. I think he still has hot wing sauce in that disgusting thing from when he was coaching the Titans.
Buccaneers 26, Eagles 17. The Bucs need this to stay in playoffs. The Eagles have some young players trying to make a mark. Andy Reid will be eating biscuits and gravy on the sidelines, two times, the first time from his plate, the second time as leftovers from that disgusting moustache. I have enjoyed IMMENSELY watching the Eagles implode. They are a dream team for me, mostly because I hate them.
Panthers 23, Falcons 21. UPSET!
Bears 26, Vikings 9. Christian Ponder … LOL! That guy is a disaster. A DISASTER. I watched him the first few weeks when they were praising him and he was throwing all 3 yard passes. And now that defenses have taken those away, he looks miserable. He is averaging 6.0 passing yards per attempt. 6.0! DEAD LAST IN THE LEAGUE! But he isn’t taking nearly as much heat as Cam Newton. For comparison C.J. Spiller and Adrian Peterson are averaging more YARDS PER RUSH than Ponder is averaging on YARDS PER PASSING attempts. That is atrocious. Embarrassing. They should bench Ponder tomorrow. I don’t care if they start Joe Capp. Ponder is a BUM.
Jets 7, Jaguars 5. The Jets … what a MESS MESS MESS MESS! They FINALLY benched QB Mark Sanchez in a game. Problem is they are going back to him next week. Coach Rex Ryan trying his brilliance at motivation to get Sanchez jump-started. I will say this again: if you need this many attempts to motivate your starting QB, he should not be your starting QB. Maybe Ryan should get fat again. Remember Luther Vandross when he would lose weight and didn’t sound the same? Seriously. The Jets had their best days in the Jabba The Hutt Ryan days. I am joking, because Ryan was a fat idiot and now he is a fitter IDIOT. But the funny thing is the Jets decided to bench Sanchez during a game when Tim Tebow was inactive. That way they prevented IN ANY WAY from having to have Tebow touch the ball as the starting QB. Hilarious. This team makes Ringling Brothers look normal.
Colts 20, Titans 13. Oh Jake Locker. The Titans are about to blow up this whole thing. Not worth anymore characters.
Steelers 24, Chargers 10. How anyone has any faith in the Chargers is beyond me. They lose in ways that don’t make sense. And to see Norv Turner in those uncomfortable press conferences is just hard to watch. He should be a corporate accountant or something like that, with no contact with the public. How does he get through a job interview without the person looking to hire him saying, “What a social misfit!” I can’t imagine why you hire that bum. Steelers? Written off every time they lose. Last week the Ravens were cocky as hell, because they beat the Steelers by 3, when the Steelers didn’t have QB Ben Roethlisberger. They touted Joe Flacco. Then the Steelers went to Baltimore with Charlie “Chaplin” Batch at QB at the age of 560 and playing like crap and BEAT THE RAVENS IN THEIR STADIUM. And the Ravens had their QB and their RB and all their WRs. I loved that game. I cannot say it enough: JOE FLACCO IS A BUM. OVERRATED. HE IS RIDING THE COATTAILS OF RAY RICE. Without Rice to dump the ball to, Flacco would be Mark Sanchez. How many times during that game did Flacco just throw the ball up in the air and pray in the Church of PLEASE CALL PASS INTERFERENCE? Flacco is useless. The RAVENS are overrated every year. Paper champions. Teams that talk people into believing they are champions. They won the Super Bowl, even with that terrible offense, in 2000 and haven’t seen the Super Bowl again since. HATE THE RAVENS.
Redskins 26, Ravens 16. Speaking of the Ravens … screw the Ravens.
49ers 20, Dolphins 10. Dolphins QB Ryan Tannehill getting way too much credit for a guy with 7 TDs in 13 games. And as for 49ers Coach Crazy Jim Harbaugh, why Harbaugh is trying to use a college 2 QB system is beyond me. Trying so hard to be smarter than everyone else is going to fracture his team. He benched Smith while Smith was playing pretty good. I am not an Alex Smith fan, but when he was playing so good they should have ridden it out and replaced him during the offseason. Harbaugh thinks he is smarter than everyone else and now he is going to hose himself.
Seahawks 17, Cardinals 6. The Cards should fire EVERYBODY. I know people give Coach Ken Whisenhunt credit for taking that team to the Super Bowl with all their history of failure, but lets evaluate something. WHISENHUNT HASN’T A CLUE ABOUT QBs. He had Kurt Warner and Matt Leinart. Easy choice to play Warner … Leinart was miserable. Then the next year he has Leinart and Derek Anderson? Then after that, he has been in a myriad of QB situations that make NO SENSE whatsoever. They played Max Hall last year, not to mention John Skelton, Kevin Kolb, Ryan Lindley. What is he doing?? That offense is terrible. You could say without Warner alone he doesn’t know what he is doing. And you would be RIGHT.
Giants 34, Saints 29. The Saints can score, and so can any team playing the Saints. Did you see QB Drew Brees last week? Wow, he was awful. And he throws picks that make no sense. Like he can’t see the defender. Plus he is throwing his receivers into some big hits. If you do that at least run over and talk to him. He does it and looks at the receiver like he is wondering why he is leaving the field with his lung hanging out of the back of his ribcage.
Packers 30. Lions 20. The Lions are done. Coach Jim Schwartz is going to get fired. The team had sent Titus Young “away” for conduct. This week he was placed on IR. Schwartz did a press conference, where he NEVER looks anyone in the eyes and I can’t stand or trust that, and says he “probably” will need surgery. ”IF HE SHOWS UP FOR THE SURGERY.” Wow. Nice press conference; crazy coaches don’t last. Bye bye, Schwartz.
Pats 30, Texans 16. On Monday night, I will cook up some wings for this one. I still don’t believe in Texans QB Matt Schaub. Question: If Pats TE Rob Gronkowski is so great, then how come the Pats are still putting up 50 without him? I truly believe if Heath Miller played for the Pats with Tom Brady, Miller would be ALL WORLD.
Around the NFL …
An announcer said during the Chiefs game that they were a perimeter running team and “no team in the NFL does it better.” Really? How can a team that has 2 wins be identified as the best in the NFL at ANYTHING? Announcers should quit talking to us as though we are morons. Pull a Charles Barkley and say it: “Tthis team sucks. We are showing this because we HAVE to and we get paid, but make no mistake … you are not going to like it.”
Darrelle Revis told his teammates they need to shut up and quit bitching in the media. And he said this in … an INTERVIEW with THE MEDIA! That makes perfect sense for someone from that team.
Speaking of the Cardinals. DL Darnell Dockett got in an argument with Kerry Rhodes and SPIT IN RHODES’ FACE. ARE YOU KIDDING? One of the most disrespectful things you can do is dig deep, hock up an oyster and spit it in someone’s face. That says, “I have no respect for you.” And it’s even worse when you consider THEY ARE ON THE SAME TEAM. First of all, if it I were Rhodes, the team would be down Dockett, because frankly I would have beat him to a pulp. Spit in my face? No. Hell no.
I heard something on the radio today that said Chiefs Coach Romeo Crennel would not be fired because of the terrible shooting incident he watched last week. Huh? So he witnessed a horrible tragedy, and because of just that they would keep a coach who has won only 2 games this year, and put a team on the field that looks unprepared, uninspired and unmotivated? That is ridiculous. They should thank him for the way he handled the situation and give him a pat on the back as they push his considerably large ass out the door. Crennel has had two MISERABLE RUNS as head coach, but he should NEVER be a head coach again. Never.
I heard something else on the radio today. A Yahoo Sports EXPERT said Oregon Ducks Coach Chip Kelly, with that ridiculous wide open offense, should choose as his first job in the NFL: THE SAN DIEGO CHARGERS. I couldn’t stop laughing. Kelly’s offense is a spread, read option offense that needs playmakers all over the field. And this moron thinks Kelly should go to the Chargers, who have talent NOWHERE and Phil Rivers at QB. Rivers has one knee, is as mobile as Rex Ryan and makes horrible decisions. The Chargers have Ryan Matthews and Ronnie Brown at RB. That is a terrible combination. This is why I say Yahoo Sports and Internet sports experts in general are all morons.
How bad is it for the Jets? Their most famous fan, Fireman Ed, quit … as a FAN! That is hilarious. He threw in his Sanchez jersey. Even more hilarious is the fact that he wrote a long letter to the press about why he quit, and how he has been harassed for wearing his Sanchez jersey while “in the bathroom,” etc. I couldn’t stop laughing. Everyone could tell this guy was an attention whore of epic proportions with his antics, but the resignation letter … that is classic.
Speaking of the Jets (again), why does anyone care how the Jets have treated Tebow? I keep hearing how unfair they are being to him and how he deserves this and that. Get out of here. Does anyone think any other backup QB in the league is being mistreated? So Tebow loves God. Should be treated better even though he sucks as a QB? Ridiculous. Anyone talking that nonsense, punch yourself in the face and shut the hell up.
Both Seahawk CBs taking the psychostimulant Adderall. Hilarous. One suspended, the other fighting. You know they are just trying to stagger them so they aren’t both gone at the same time.
How can the Cowboys be 14-15 at home since they built their new stadium? What kind of home field advantage is that? Good thing they have that big Jumbotron. Maybe they can make some extra money showing porn on it.
What Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher did last week was horrifying. I am going to take a stance that will probably offend some of you off and I really don’t care. Here goes: IF YOU ARE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF, JUST DO IT. Don’t take someone else out first. Don’t do it. If you want to kill yourself, make sure your cowardly ass is the only casualty. Belcher shot his kid’s mother in front of his own mother, left the kid parentless at 3 months old, then shot himself. What a coward. He took the easy way out. He killed someone and destroyed several lives, and instead of taking his punishment, the lowly coward took his own life. I DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR HIS ASS AT ALL. Not one bit. He should have made sure the one and only bullet that came out of that gun went into his miserable, cowardly dome. PUNK. I don’t want to hear ANYONE talking about how sad it is FOR HIM. He was a miserable excuse for a person. PERIOD. If you want to kill yourself, do the world a favor and only use one bullet, but use it on yourself. Do not think you are taking someone with you so you can reunite on the “other side.” First of all, if you killed someone how do you think they are going to end up with you on the “other side?” It blows my mind, thinking suicide. Buy one bullet and make sure to save it for yourself, punks.
